Equipping Families.

Steve Gentry

[0:05] and we’ll be right back.

[0:08] Go ahead and have a seat. [0:10] Welcome to Village Church. [0:10] If this is your first time here, [0:12] my name’s Steve, one of the pastors here [0:13] at Village Church. [0:14] And as always, I am thankful and grateful

[0:16] to see each and every one of you. [0:18] If you have a Bible, go ahead and open it [0:20] to Deuteronomy chapter six. [0:22] We’ll be starting there in verse four, [0:24] as well as going to other passages [0:26] this morning as well.

[0:27] We are in the middle of a summer [0:29] [0:29] [0:29] [0:29] series in which we are laying out [0:32] the vision for Village Church.

[0:35] It answers the question, [0:36] what do we want to be known for? [0:39] We’re talking about the DNA [0:40] of what sets us apart as we seek [0:42] to form as well as be [0:44] a church that brings glory to God

[0:46] above absolutely everything else. [0:49] We started in the first week [0:50] talking about worshiping Jesus, [0:53] that we strive to be a church [0:54] that worships Him. [0:55] The gospel of Jesus, of course, is the

[0:58] cornerstone on which the Church of [1:00] Jesus Christ is built on. [1:02] Jesus became a human, [1:04] lived a perfect life, died a sinner’s [1:06] death, and rose from the dead [1:08] to redeem for Himself a people

[1:10] who worship Him. [1:12] Sin is rooted then in [1:14] disordered worship, but the gospel [1:16] brings forgiveness so that [1:18] we may reorient our [1:20] worship to the one whom we were

[1:22] created to worship. [1:24] And then last Sunday, we talked about [1:25] building faith. We strive to be [1:28] a church that builds saving [1:30] faith, living faith, and [1:32] risking faith.

[1:33] Those three examples of faith [1:35] aid us in growing in our [1:37] discipleship that God desires [1:39] us to grow into. [1:41] When we look through the pages of Scripture, [1:43] we see both prescriptions and

[1:45] descriptions of all those three [1:47] levels of confidence [1:49] that translate into a life and [1:51] relationship with God. [1:52] We want to build faith in our own [1:55] lives as well as the lives of others.

[1:58] The third thing that [1:59] we want to be known for rather [2:02] starts to get down to the core [2:04] and maybe into some of the more [2:06] nitty-gritty worship and [2:08] faith, of course, if you go to any

[2:10] church, they want to be known for that. [2:11] But one of the things that I think sets [2:13] us apart is the fact that we strive [2:16] to equip families. [2:18] We want to be the type of [2:20] church that equips families

[2:22] to follow Jesus together, [2:25] to example to the world [2:27] the original created order [2:28] that God designed for husbands [2:30] and wives, fathers and mothers, [2:33] children being

[2:35] trained in the discipline and [2:36] instruction of the Word of God. [2:39] Equipping families, I think, [2:41] reveals a great deal about [2:43] our philosophy of ministry. [2:46] About 40 percent

[2:47] of our total church is [2:49] under the age of 18. [2:50] That is a large percentage. [2:53] By typical church standards, [2:55] that makes us very unique. [2:58] It also makes our

[2:59] budget very unique, [3:01] as 40 percent of our church is unemployed.

[3:07] We also believe [3:09] that this is a great blessing [3:11] of God that we must steward [3:13] because it is a very [3:15] good thing to not only [3:17] have the number of families that we have,

[3:19] but the size of families that we have. [3:22] But it’s a great [3:23] responsibility that God has given [3:25] and I believe, we believe [3:27] as pastors, it is a great priority [3:30] that we must make

[3:32] that will challenge [3:33] not just you, [3:35] but will challenge the world around us [3:37] and we use it to challenge the [3:39] churches around us. [3:42] We purposefully

[3:43] prioritize discipling young [3:45] people in our church [3:46] while acknowledging that there are [3:49] trade-offs that we make [3:50] because of that emphasis. [3:53] During the 20th century,

[3:55] many churches [3:57] synergized with the culture [3:59] around us and treated families [4:01] as individuals rather than [4:02] units. A great emphasis [4:05] was put on separating men’s

[4:07] ministry from women’s ministry [4:08] and we honestly fight that to [4:10] this day as a church. [4:12] We do not emphasize [4:15] individualistic visions of [4:16] family, but instead we choose rather

[4:18] to treat families here at [4:20] Village Church as full units. [4:23] We believe that [4:24] the separating of ministry [4:26] to the sexes was a detriment [4:28] to the souls of the people

[4:30] in the churches and it built a church [4:32] that boasted on [4:34] caring more about adults [4:36] who weren’t in attendance rather than [4:38] families who are in attendance every [4:40] single Sunday.

[4:41] And what was considered [4:43] good evangelism by modern [4:46] standards we believe led [4:47] to a large scale abandonment [4:49] of faith by kids after [4:51] they turned 18 realizing that

[4:54] the church had nothing more for them [4:55] where the family was concerned. [4:58] We seek purposefully [5:00] to tear down the modernistic [5:02] barriers and faulty definitions [5:04] of evangelism

[5:05] and discipleship so that we will [5:07] be a church known for equipping [5:10] families as a whole, [5:12] fostering healthy [5:14] marriages that are reproducing [5:16] through children and

[5:18] seeking to equip mothers and fathers [5:20] to take the responsibility [5:22] that God has given [5:24] you to disciple [5:26] your children while realizing [5:28] there is nothing that we can do in one to

[5:30] two hours a week that will undo your [5:32] neglect the rest of the week. [5:35] And so we seek to [5:36] disciple the whole family, [5:37] not just part of it. [5:40] And that is what’s going to give you

[5:42] a faith as a family that will [5:44] endure, we believe, [5:46] for generations to come. [5:49] And so [5:50] understand that this is probably [5:52] the most controversial vision that I’m going

[5:54] to give, but I believe that [5:56] if you’ll hear me out, [5:58] it will be one with I believe the most [6:00] biblical precedent to [6:02] give to you as to what your [6:04] vision for your household should be

[6:05] more than just what our vision for the [6:08] church is. I want to start reading [6:10] in Deuteronomy chapter six [6:12] where the Holy Spirit inspired [6:14] Moses to give vision for the family. [6:17] Hear, oh Israel,

[6:19] the Lord our God, [6:20] the Lord is one. [6:23] You shall love the Lord [6:24] your God with all your heart, with all your [6:26] soul, with all your might. [6:29] And these words that I

[6:30] command you today shall be on your [6:32] heart. You shall teach [6:34] them diligently to your children [6:36] and shall talk of them [6:38] when you sit in your house, [6:40] when you walk by the way,

[6:42] and when you lie down, [6:44] and when you rise. You [6:46] shall bind them as a sign on your hand [6:48] and they shall be as frontlets [6:50] between your eyes. [6:52] You shall write them on the doorposts

[6:55] of your house [6:56] and on your gates. [6:59] I believe that in the New [7:00] Testament, Jesus summarizes greatly [7:02] in the great commandment, love the Lord your God, [7:05] love your neighbor as yourself.

[7:07] But I believe that when you compare [7:08] scripture with scripture, you see [7:10] that the primary field in which [7:12] you love your neighbor as yourself is in your [7:14] own house.

[7:17] That there is an order [7:18] of loves given in scripture [7:20] to where you are to give precedent [7:22] to your home before you [7:24] ever consider who your neighbor [7:26] is outside of your home. And part

[7:28] of the problem as a society that we have [7:30] is that we do not want to love [7:32] our neighbor as ourselves inside of the [7:34] home, but rather we believe that it is more [7:36] virtuous to pretend that we love [7:38] people more whom we’ve never even met.

[7:42] And God [7:43] gives us an order in Deuteronomy [7:45] that he has ordained [7:46] the family unit. So number one, this morning [7:48] I hope to convince you that the family [7:51] is the building block

[7:52] of civilization. [7:54] It is the very building block upon which [7:56] civilization rests, and when you [7:58] deconstruct the family, you are [8:00] deconstructing civilization itself.

[8:05] Since the 1960s in the [8:06] United States, culture at [8:08] large has sought to redefine [8:10] and deconstruct God’s vision [8:12] for the nuclear family. [8:15] Cultural Marxism in all

[8:16] of its forms is the vehicle through which [8:18] this has been accomplished as we are [8:20] trained to view [8:22] ourselves as individuals [8:24] rather than members of a family. [8:27] And so a lack of emphasis

[8:29] on family ties is very [8:31] much devolving Western civilization [8:34] as a whole. [8:36] We must recover [8:37] God’s vision for the family [8:39] to resurrect a Biblical view

[8:41] for civilization itself. [8:43] Now, I say this knowing full [8:45] well that I have people throughout [8:47] this room in all types [8:49] of situations where family is [8:51] concerned.

[8:53] We are a church filled with [8:55] broken families as well as families [8:57] that are whole, yet [8:59] broken internally. [9:02] I say this knowing that there are [9:03] people in this room who have never

[9:05] been married. I say this knowing [9:07] that there are people in this room that [9:09] don’t long for marriage because your parents [9:11] set such a sad [9:13] standard by which you view marriage. [9:15] I understand that we’re a church filled

[9:17] with people in this room that just got out of a [9:19] marriage.

[9:22] But here’s the key. [9:23] None [9:25] of our individual experiences [9:28] change God’s vision [9:30] whatsoever for [9:31] what created order should

[9:34] and can look like [9:36] in view of the Gospel. [9:37] None of that changes. [9:40] And so the key is that [9:41] we must understand that after [9:43] sin had already

[9:45] entered the world, God [9:47] gave us what’s said in Deuteronomy, Chapter [9:49] 6. That’s the vision, even [9:51] in light of sin, of what God’s [9:53] designed for a family is to look [9:55] like. It is a family that is built

[9:57] on the knowledge of God, [9:59] faithfulness to God, and [10:01] worship of God. And there is [10:03] an expectation that mothers [10:05] and fathers together are to set a [10:07] standard inside of the home

[10:09] by which children are trained in such a [10:11] way that they will reproduce that family [10:13] for generations to come.

[10:16] Why [10:17] is there such an emphasis on [10:19] the family in Deuteronomy and beyond? [10:23] Because even in [10:24] Israel, the family unit was God’s [10:26] pillar of society and

[10:28] civilization. [10:30] And we must understand [10:32] that the only reason that we [10:34] may have lost that vision [10:35] is not because of Scripture. [10:39] It’s because

[10:39] of the slow compromise [10:42] of churches [10:43] over an extended period of time [10:46] to minister [10:47] to singular individuals rather [10:50] than treating people as family members.

[10:53] That is not God’s vision for his [10:55] church. This goes all [10:57] the way back to created order. It’s [10:59] embedded into the fabric [11:01] of humanity. [11:03] We lost one of the

[11:06] most influential pastors [11:07] in my life this past week, John McArthur. [11:10] And years ago, he was on [11:12] Larry King Live [11:13] talking about marriage and [11:15] family with an advocate of gay

[11:17] marriage. And he said [11:19] that families come in all shapes [11:21] and sizes and definitions [11:23] and no one can give us a singular [11:25] definition for what the fabric of a [11:27] marriage looks like where reproduction

[11:30] itself is even concerned. [11:32] And Dr. McArthur very [11:33] dryly looked at him and said, well, it’s [11:35] a good thing your parents disagreed with [11:37] you.

[11:41] Very existence itself depends [11:44] on God’s order of the household friends. [11:47] In Genesis 1, [11:48] 27 and 28, God gives us an [11:50] overview. So God created man [11:51] in his image. In the image of God, he

[11:54] created him, male and female. He created [11:56] them and God blessed them. And [11:58] God said, be fruitful and multiply [12:00] and fill the earth and subdue it [12:02] and have dominion over the fish of the sea [12:03] and over the birds of the heavens and over

[12:05] every living thing that moves [12:08] on the earth. And so what do we have [12:09] here? God made man and [12:12] woman in his image and then gave [12:13] what is the original commission [12:15] to them. Be fruitful

[12:18] and multiply [12:19] and then have dominion over the face of the earth. [12:22] This is what’s called in Scripture as [12:24] the dominion mandate. [12:26] It’s accomplished through marriage, [12:28] through childbearing and stewardship

[12:31] combined [12:32] to form, [12:34] support and multiply [12:36] families throughout the face of the earth. [12:38] And then these families [12:39] become the foundation of their

[12:41] relationship to God and their [12:46] [12:47] Be fruitful and multiply and [12:48] multiply and then have dominion

[13:06] over the fish of the heavens and [13:08] [13:08] [13:08] [13:08] [13:08] that moves on the earth and

[13:08] ever since that age, [13:09] [13:09] [13:09] fits that standard. And so inside of that dominion mandate is the necessity for sons to leave home, [13:18] take wives, and then come together as one unit. These two shall become one. You are no longer to [13:27] view yourself as an individual. Every time that I do a wedding, I say you are no longer to see

[13:31] yourself as an individual. You are now a singular unit, husband and wife. A family is formed.

[13:42] But sin has, of course, radically corrupted our view of family. And so what happened to that [13:48] perfect union? Why are families broken? I can sum it up in one word. Of course, it’s the word sin. [13:56] Genesis 3, 16 through 20 reveals that God’s judgment on humanity for sin brought pain [14:01] to the world, and through it marred our relationships. To the woman, he said, I will [14:06] surely multiply your pain and childbearing. In pain, you shall bring forth children. My feet [14:11] were killing me the whole time. I’ve never stood so long in my life. Your desire shall be for your

[14:17] husband, and he shall rule over you. And to Adam, he said, because you have listened to the voice [14:23] of your wife and eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, you shall not eat of it. Cursed [14:28] is the ground because of you. In pain, you shall eat of it all the days of your life, [14:32] thorns and thistles. It shall bring forth to you, and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the [14:37] sweat of your face, you shall eat bread till you return to the ground. For out of it you were taken, [14:43] for you are dust, and the dust you shall return. The man called his wife’s name Eve because she

[14:49] was the mother of all living. One key element I want you to focus on first and foremost, [14:54] we have a lot of problems, but then a return to the dominion mandate.

[15:01] No aspect of God’s judgment on sin changed one iota of the dominion mandate. She was the mother [15:10] of all living. That continued even in light of sin. The perfect union of man and woman is obviously [15:20] difficult. It takes like a week in marriage to realize that.

[15:27] It’s not easy at all. It is very tough because you’re bringing two sinners together [15:35] to struggle well to form the union from God’s vision. Sin breaks his design, [15:43] and sinners pervert what God makes good. Do you realize that without sin, [15:51] Deuteronomy 6 is a totally unnecessary passage? If we weren’t sinners, you wouldn’t have to tell [15:57] us to do that. We would just do it, but sin radically corrupts what God made good, [16:05] but it has not completely destroyed nature. Do you realize the provenient grace in that?

[16:10] Sin does not completely destroy what God has made. Sinners still retain the image of God. [16:19] That is why unbelievers enter into monogamous heterosexual marriage and form families, [16:28] because God has not totally condemned society to credulity or futility. Instead, the marred image [16:37] still persists in God’s common grace on society. People still enjoy his good gifts, even if [16:46] imperfectly, but the good news of Jesus Christ is that God gives that common grace so that he can [16:53] restore nature through the gospel, through faith. That’s why inside of the church we must form a

[17:03] different ethic for marriage that the world does not have. We have an ethic for marriage that does [17:09] have forgiveness. We have an ethic for marriage that does promote health. We have an ethic for [17:14] marriage that does, under the power of the Holy Spirit, keep husbands and wives together,

[17:21] even in hard times.

[17:25] I believe the gospel restores our vision for family, and I pastor that way. [17:31] I believe Jesus’ answer about divorce in Matthew 19, 4 through 5 is very telling. [17:37] I believe Jesus gave the answer that he did because he wanted the gospel to give hope for [17:42] civilization. He’s questioned about divorce. That is in the law of the Old Testament, so hear me out. [17:50] And Jesus answered, Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and [17:55] female, and said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother, hold fast to the Lord,

[18:00] and fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. So in question about marriage, what does [18:05] Jesus do? Jesus goes to the book of Genesis, the original design for marriage. He holds it high. [18:12] And so when people say Jesus said nothing about homosexuality, he said everything about [18:16] homosexuality right there. He said it’s not even in his purview. It’s not in his design, so it’s [18:24] not allowed. It is a sin against nature, and it must be treated as thus.

[18:33] Divorce was permitted through exceptions in the Old Testament civil law. Why? Because we marred [18:42] relationships, God made a boundary for their sin, and that boundary was husbands can’t just [18:51] abandon their families. We’ve got to have something in the civil law to deal with that. [18:58] And so he gave standards by which it was broken, yet he preserved families over the long haul. [19:07] And in the New Testament, Jesus doesn’t appeal to that law. What does Jesus do? Jesus appeals [19:12] to the original created order, thus holding high life-long marriage between one man and one woman

[19:20] as the expected outcome of reconciliation with God. God hates divorce, and so does anyone who’s [19:29] ever been divorced. I’ve never walked through brokenness in marriage with anyone who came out [19:37] on the other side and said, that was a good time. When can I have that again?

[19:43] No, it’s broken. It’s hurtful, because deep down inside the way that God created us, we know that [19:50] is not what we were designed to endure, even with the exceptions given in Scripture.

[20:00] Jesus showcases God’s good original design, which reigns supreme, because he looks at them and says, [20:07] have you not read, knowing very well they had? That is the only standard. [20:15] The restorative power of the Gospel, though, must be the emphasis that the Church puts on living in [20:22] accordance with God’s design. The Gospel has been said many times as being something that does not [20:31] destroy nature, which is true. It restores it, and God’s design for the family in Genesis 1 is not [20:38] only the goal, but it must be the gold standard, and the vehicle through which God made us,

[20:44] and maintains any society to bring Him glory. Anything less is to be rejected for our vision. [20:54] What sin corrupts, the Gospel restores. And I believe the family, as designed by God, [21:02] is the building block of civilization. And so, when we move away from God’s standards, [21:07] we do not uphold civilization. We become destroyers of civilization along with unbelievers, [21:14] and we can’t do that. The Church of Jesus then must equip families to multiply and steward [21:21] society. That must be our vision, and we must hold it high, regardless of our personal experiences.

[21:30] And so, number two this morning, I want you to understand, the Church must [21:33] recover God’s vision for family. We must recover that vision. We spent too many decades as Church [21:43] people devaluing marriage in order to stoop to the lowest common denominator with society around us, [21:52] calling it love to lower the standards and the expectations that we have for men and women at [21:58] large. God’s design matters in the Church. The only way that we can help people who are [22:08] experiencing brokenness is if we have the upheld standard of Scripture before us.

[22:15] Many contemporary churches have adopted a philosophy that prioritizes the needs of those [22:21] outside the Church over the needs of those inside the Church. We must not do that. [22:28] This has necessarily led to an evangelicalism that has spent those past few decades caring [22:36] more about people who aren’t here than people who are here, and we’ve experienced the fruits [22:40] of that over the last two decades. This synergism has led to divorce rates within the Church that [22:47] climb higher and higher, and children of well-meaning Christians leaving the faith after their 18th

[22:54] birthday. A focus on seeker-driven ministry has led to the neglect of real discipleship [23:03] towards God’s design for the family. The Church must trust Scripture and aim at building strong [23:12] men of faith and godly women of faith, but that changes us from seeking a quick fix for a culture [23:22] filled with feminists, perverts, and degenerates. Instead, it must become a focus on building [23:30] genuine faith in the lives of families so that fathers can lead according to Scripture to [23:36] disciple their families, showcasing the effects of grace and the lives of Christians so that those

[23:42] outside of the Church will see the significant difference within the Church. Somewhere along [23:48] the way, somebody thought it was good evangelism to look at an unbeliever and say, [23:51] see, we’re just like you. Friends, that’s not biblical.

[24:01] That is what loses the genuine distinction of the Church and the salt becomes unsavory.

[24:10] This is God’s vision for the effects of grace to be showcased in an unbelieving world. [24:17] Following up on Deuteronomy 6, Deuteronomy 11, 20 through 21 notes that when saturating the [24:23] household with God’s Word, it builds families that endure in faith generationally. He repeats [24:30] himself. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates that your days [24:34] and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land that the Lord swore to your fathers [24:41] to give them as long as the heavens are above the earth. It could be that our overemphasis

[24:51] on relevancy and making the Gospel tasteful to unbelievers has been detrimental to that [25:01] process from Deuteronomy, as it has become a reason to compromise with the culture [25:07] so that they will accept us rather than calling them to repentance so that God will accept them. [25:15] There is a key difference between those two avenues. [25:19] Friends, it’s no secret. I want and we want all sinners to repent, believe, [25:26] and enter the life of the Church. The issue is what kind of Church will they be joining?

[25:36] The news of our days is so fascinating the way it will line up. [25:42] And just this past week, in recent days, the fixer-upper duo of Chip and Joanna Gaines [25:49] and their obsession with shiplap. I don’t get it. Drywall’s great.

[25:59] Chip and Joanna Gaines have sold their birthright for a pot of stew. [26:05] They seek friendship with the world by compromising on the essentials of faith. [26:10] And so inside of the Church, we have the question of were they right? Were they wrong? Are they [26:15] being loving? Are they doing this so that they can show God’s love to the individual? [26:22] And so, to which I say, friend, if we have to even ask, we’ve lost the plot. [26:28] We’ve lost the plot. A Christian can never showcase this phony marriage between two men

[26:39] who’ve gone into the business of trafficking by buying two sons.

[26:46] And the statistics on that, I won’t go further than this, but to say the statistics on that [26:50] aren’t pretty. This is detrimental to God’s vision for the family, and we must call it what it is. [26:57] It’s apostasy. It’s a leaving of the faith. The Church must stand for equipping families, [27:06] especially now, when it is the most difficult, and be willing to discipline those who disparage it [27:14] both word and deed. If their pastor was worth anything, they would be excommunicated immediately. [27:22] But we don’t do that because that wouldn’t be nice.

[27:29] Friends, nice and kind are two different things. It is unkind to be unloving, [27:38] and to refuse to call sin sin is unloving, and to compromise on God’s design for husband and wife [27:46] is unloving. The Church must equip families, real families. You know what that necessitates? [27:58] Being able to define what a family is. Boy plus boy does not a family make.

[28:06] Man plus man cannot the dominion mandate accomplish. Try as they may, they are missing [28:12] some very important parts. Try as I may. My wife hasn’t gotten me pregnant yet,

[28:25] but I’m still trying.

[28:31] I can’t help myself sometimes.

[28:40] The Church then, ring it in, the Church then sets the standard for Gospel restoration, [28:51] and what that looks like. Gospel faith always leads to a life upholding God’s design for family, [28:59] even in a world that is filled with subconscious that have been really just driven to accept [29:07] feminism and all of the redefinition of marriage that feminism has led to. Many people don’t [29:14] realize that, but in a culture that seeks to flatten gender in egalitarian ways, [29:22] we must celebrate God’s distinction between the genders and submit to His design for masculine

[29:31] and feminine roles and the differences therein. This means showcasing as a Church real masculinity. [29:39] Yes, can be offensive to a culture of snowflakes in which no one says anything hard to anyone. [29:47] We must also showcase real femininity that rejects effeminacy in men and celebrates the [29:57] role of women as wives and mothers, and I say this as lovingly as I can women, [30:02] stop long housing your husbands. Stop it. Your husband sets the standard of the home. He sets [30:10] the environment. He sets the atmosphere, and so when you just piece by piece, destroy your

[30:16] husband’s masculinity to get your way over the long haul, you are destroying the very fabric of [30:22] how God has designed your home to exist, and when you rob your husband of his masculinity, [30:28] you are showcasing God’s judgment from Genesis 3. You are not showcasing your feminine wiles. [30:34] You are seeking to supplant your husband’s masculinity, and you are destroying your marriage.

[30:43] And men, quit being cowards. Sometimes you gotta be kind and ruffle her feathers.

[30:59] And we must set the standard. Healthy churches are built on healthy families.

[31:11] In defying cultural perversion, we must equip families for health. That means holding high [31:18] first the sanctity of marriage. Malachi 2, 15 through 16, we must equip families for health. [31:24] Reveals God’s rejection of a culture that breaks families. He says, did he not make them one with [31:30] a portion of the spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. [31:36] So guard yourselves in your spirit and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. [31:42] For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel,

[31:48] covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit and [31:54] do not be faithless. That is one of the least cited verses on marriage and divorce, because it’s a pretty hard one. [32:03] Covering your garment with violence is a combination of terms about sinfulness as well as injustice. [32:11] It means that when we dishonor marriage, we victimize people. Not just inside of the union. [32:20] I believe we victimize people at large, society at large, but yet you don’t hear that from any social [32:26] justice warriors. In Ephesians 5, 31 through 33, Paul states that the foundation of families

[32:33] is a direct representative of the gospel that forms the life of the church. Therefore a man [32:39] shall leave his father and mother, hold fast to his wife, the two shall become one flesh. This [32:44] mystery is profound and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. Now if he stopped there, [32:49] we could have some type of Gnostic, mystical view of marriage as an allegory, but look at what he says [32:56] in verse 33. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself and let the wife see that she [33:03] respects her husband. Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, knew that we would have a

[33:08] temptation to kind of over-allegorize marriage and devalue it if we just say, well the marriage is [33:13] a picture of the gospel, and we would be sinners and say, oh so the actual physical marriage is [33:17] meaningless. No, verse 33, Paul comes right back around and he says, you must actually have a marriage.

[33:27] In 1st Timothy 3, 14 through 15, Paul expects Timothy to teach church members how to behave [33:32] in God’s household. I love the way he says it. He says, I hope to come to you soon, but I am writing [33:37] these things to you so that if I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of [33:43] the living God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth. [33:47] Why is that important? Because it presupposes that they know what a household looks like.

[33:58] You see, part of the problem with the contemporary church is that we form the church around broken [34:07] households, and our vision for it persists in that light, but Paul says they ought to know [34:13] how to act in God’s household because you’re helping them know how to act in their own.

[34:20] A pillar and buttress of the truth is the church, and a pillar and buttress of society is the family.

[34:28] Necessitates forming households that know how to behave so that we can have any form of church [34:34] whatsoever. Friend, if we accept the destruction of the family, the church will very much lose [34:41] its identity. The church then has a responsibility to instruct and equip you to lead a healthy [34:49] family. It’s very difficult. That’s why it must have priority. This ain’t easy. [34:58] But number three, our first mission is to building the next generation of faith.

[35:05] That is our primary goal as a church, and so we unapologetically prioritize the next generation.

[35:14] Ken, just want to remind you, the evangelical church has spent the last 50 years not prioritizing [35:19] the next generation. We were trained. I was trained. You prioritize those outside,

[35:29] neglecting to form a philosophy of faith and living for our own children. [35:35] We acted as though somehow that would just take care of itself, but we need to rethink all that. [35:42] We need to think hard and long about what our own kids think about God. [35:49] This is rightly ordered love that moves the gospel farther than any other priority [35:55] in here and out there. A problem with the contemporary churches, they simply have no vision [36:00] for families, not healthy ones. That leads to undisciplined and isolated children left to

[36:09] form their own understanding of God and the world around them. And effeminate pastors have [36:15] silently sat by, neglectfully allowing professing Christian celebrities to destroy the ethos of [36:22] family within the church. We cannot allow for that to happen. We need a philosophy of evangelism [36:29] that doesn’t reduce it to people you don’t know. Why is it so easy to care so much for people [36:37] you’ve never met, yet so difficult to care about those in your own home?

[36:43] We must form a generational view of evangelism and discipleship within families. We must empower [36:52] men to lead unapologetically focused on it, because if you win the man, you win the family. [37:02] Masculinity is good. Let me say that again. Masculinity is good, and the church needs to help [37:13] form masculine men rather than reject them. The church must form a vehicle through which [37:23] men can be trained to lead their families, because it is a God-given role. [37:30] Why must the pastor be a qualified man? That’s a very simple question, a very simple answer,

[37:38] because a qualified pastor shows a qualified husband how to be a husband. The husband is the [37:45] pastor of the home. We have a lot of complementarians in the pews who are egalitarians at home,

[37:55] and we must turn that around. We must cease to publicly say, yes, God has ordained the role [38:02] of pastor to be a man while going home and supplanting the role of husband for the wife.

[38:10] I promised I wasn’t going to be offensive today. Clearly, I lied.

[38:18] We must understand that effeminacy is a problem in the church. Psalm 127, [38:28] 3-5 forms a generational view of faith in which parents invest in their children so that they [38:33] can become the greatest reward of their lives. Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit [38:38] of the womb, a reward like arrows in the hand of a warrior or the children of one’s youth. [38:43] Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks [38:49] with his enemies in the gate. Now, I want you to understand that means that you steward them to

[38:55] be a blessing. What if I told you not all children seem to be much of a blessing at all?

[39:02] That’s because they’re undisciplined and they are undisciplined. You form children according [39:07] to the text. We must also form a vision for Titus 2 women, the older teaching the younger. [39:16] But I want you to understand, discipleship is women’s ministry. It’s the same as with men, [39:25] just as with men, older women, caveat, with maturity and wisdom. I’m going to pastor a long [39:34] time. Your age does not necessarily communicate maturity or wisdom. I’ve met 80 year olds that [39:45] couldn’t make a good decision if the only option was a. You must earn that and not everybody does.

[40:01] Older women should exemplify for younger women what godly femininity is about, [40:07] rejecting feminist visions for the family. We must unapologetically focus on motherhood [40:16] and child rearing. That’s why every Wednesday our homeschool community is the greatest investment [40:24] women’s ministry we make. We must equip parents and help them disciple their children with [40:31] discipline. We must teach parents the truth so that they can teach their kids what to believe [40:37] before they ever focus on how to think. Do I indoctrinate my kids? Been doing it for 15 years.

[40:45] What do they believe? What I believe because I’m their father. And when they cycle into the world, [40:56] if they choose not to be Christians, they’re going to have to learn a whole new way of living. [41:01] I’ll never understand why parents tell me they need to be prepared for the real world. [41:05] What do you think I’m doing? Who do you think owns the real world? [41:09] See, you say you’re a Christian, yet you give his kingship to someone else, [41:14] some secularistic atheistic version of God. If God is Lord, then the real world is his,

[41:23] and my children will be equipped to serve him. They got to figure out how not to on their own.

[41:31] And singles, hear me on this. I understand that there’s going to be a temptation for you to [41:37] hear all of this and then respond by saying there’s nothing for me here. Oh, the opposite is true. [41:44] If you are single or if you happen to biologically not be able to reproduce [41:48] because of the curse of sin, you can contribute to all of the things I’ve been discussing [41:55] by investing in the life of the church, helping us to build strong families because you believe [42:03] God’s vision that greatly. We also advise pursue building a family if you can.

[42:12] And quite frankly, there’s just no other way for me to say it than that. [42:17] We bless the world by equipping families. Proverbs 17, six, grandchildren are a crown of the aged, [42:28] and the glory of children is their fathers.

[42:32] I pray to experience that first part someday, but I must lead my family in that direction if [42:40] I have any hope for that to actually happen, because that is God’s vision for his people. [42:47] We populate the world with Christians who then reach the world with the gospel of Jesus Christ, [42:55] and we must recover our vision for that. But we have to equip families to the ministry of the [43:02] local church. Here’s the deal. I lead my family that way, and as a pastor, I lead this church in [43:09] that direction, because I believe that is how we win the world, and it is what we win the world

[43:17] towards. God ordained the family as the backbone of civilization. Therefore, we must steward it [43:27] with that level of dignity. A few application points. Understand the vitality of the family [43:34] for society. It depends on families. Redeem your vision for family through faith in Jesus.

[43:43] All of us are broken because of sin, but praise God in Christ Jesus. That’s not the end of your [43:49] story. Reject the world’s deconstruction of the family. Reject it. Steward your life [43:57] toward God’s vision for family. Many of you aren’t there, are you? Many of you, you’re in the midst [44:06] of struggle. You’re in the midst of brokenness. You’ve been divorced. Your children are wayward. [44:11] You’re just trying to hold it all together. I know that. I’m glad you’re here,

[44:18] but let’s pick up the pieces. Because of the gospel, you can still steward your life in the [44:25] right direction. And then finally, support the church in equipping families, [44:32] because that’s what we aim to do, but we can’t do it alone.