Fallacy of Friendship.

Steve Gentry

[0:00] Romans chapter 12 is where we’re going to be this morning. [0:04] But I want to just kind of give you guys a little bit of a preface and intro into where we are right now. [0:10] If you weren’t here last week, we started a new series called Small is the New Big. [0:16] What this series is about is just about the community that God is forming [0:21] and how living the gospel out in a local church context looks. [0:27] We talked about Acts chapter 2 and what the early church committed themselves to

[0:32] and the posture that they took towards the gospel where they just began to give more and more of their lives [0:38] to the gospel through the transforming work of God and how God just worked and says he added to their numbers daily [0:45] those who were being saved. [0:49] Now this morning I want to transition and talk and get a little more specific. [0:54] A little more specific into how God works and what posture he desires us to take into the relationships [1:02] that we have in our lives through the gospel.

[1:06] And the fact that God desires for us to actually build all of the relationships that are in our lives. [1:13] This is in our marriages. This is in us as parents. [1:16] This isn’t just the friendships that we have in our workplace and our school. [1:19] That he desires for us to form those relationships around the truth of the gospel [1:25] and actually use them for the gospel. [1:28] That we leverage all of our relationships for the gospel.

[1:33] And I want to start really from within and talk about what that’s going to look like in the village [1:41] if we do it biblically. [1:45] Because we can do it unbiblically all day. [1:47] But we desire to do it biblically and what that’s going to look like. [1:51] Now I will tell you that a lot of this has to do with friendship. [1:54] And today we kind of titled this sermon the fallacy of friendship.

[1:59] What I want to talk about is just how we oftentimes because of sin and we all do this. [2:06] We view the friendships in our lives outside of the context of the gospel. [2:13] And what I want to do is I want to call us to do something radical this morning. [2:16] And that is to begin to view all of the relationships. [2:20] The friendships, the families, everything through the lens of the gospel [2:23] rather than viewing the gospel through the lens of our friendships.

[2:29] I want to start by just saying how we’re kind of informed by culture [2:34] rather than informing culture by the gospel. [2:37] Now if you grew up in the era that I grew up in, I’m 31 years old. [2:40] If you’re a little bit younger or a little bit older you’re going to get this. [2:44] The rest of you may be a little outside of that and that’s okay. [2:47] I think you’ll get it anyway.

[2:49] But there’s nothing I can do about it because I am me. [2:52] There’s this television show back in the 90s. [2:54] I think it was the 90s maybe a little bit into the 2000s. [2:56] But I think everybody stopped watching it by then. [2:58] And it was called Friends. [3:00] This was really a cultural phenomenon.

[3:05] This show that everyone week in and week out mostly women [3:09] but there were a lot of us guys too. [3:12] I’ll admit it. [3:13] Maybe you won’t but I was there on Thursday nights right in front of my TV saying, [3:17] Ross and Rachel what’s going to happen there? [3:20] But what we did is that we watched this group of six friends

[3:25] come together in coffee shops and they lived across the hall from each other. [3:30] They were all a little bit quirky. [3:31] They were all a bit zany. [3:33] All of them looked nothing like our friends actually look in real life. [3:36] They were all really pretty people. [3:38] And what we did was we saw this and this is what happens.

[3:42] This is what happens in the psyche. [3:44] I want that. [3:47] I want a group of people I can just come together and just bear my soul to [3:51] and we can just join and have oversized coffee cups [3:54] and you know we can be zany and we can just be funny [3:57] and everything works out in a half hour the way that it should.

[4:03] But what he liked it. [4:05] It’s a good one. [4:07] So here’s the key. [4:09] What happens is is what takes place in pop culture begins to invade our lives [4:15] and really enter into the walls of the local church [4:18] and we begin to evaluate even our relationships inside of a gospel community

[4:24] by what we see happening in a non-gospel community. [4:28] So what we do is sometimes we’ll enter into a community group. [4:32] And I have nothing in common with these people.

[4:37] I don’t have any kids. [4:38] These people have kids. [4:38] They’re like 20 years older than me or they’re like 20 years younger than me. [4:43] I have nothing in common. [4:44] I wouldn’t be friends with these people. [4:46] So I can’t be in a community group with these people.

[4:51] It’s interesting.

[4:53] You have to think what are you gauging friendship by? [4:58] Let me give you another example. [5:01] That 70’s show. [5:02] Kids don’t watch it. [5:05] There was a character on there. [5:06] His name’s Red.

[5:08] Man, I have a lot in common with that guy.

[5:12] You gotta like him. [5:14] All right. [5:14] He just doesn’t care. [5:15] Well, there’s an episode where he has a near-death experience. [5:18] All right. [5:20] And a tree almost falls on him and he has this this view of himself in a coffin

[5:25] and nobody’s at his funeral and he comes out of his little trance and he’s like, [5:29] Oh, I need to get some friends. [5:32] So he throws this party and all the people from his neighborhood, [5:35] you know, they come to his house and he’s having conversations with the guys in his house. [5:40] And he’s realizing as he has each of these conversations that he hates every single one of these people. [5:46] All right.

[5:47] He just doesn’t like them. [5:48] And so at the end of the episode, he just looks at his wife and he says, [5:52] I don’t want to have I don’t care if nobody shows up at my funeral. [5:56] I’ve got you and that’s enough.

[6:01] And a lot of you out there, you’re like, yep, especially I think that one’s going to going to get a lot of the guys because it gets me is like, [6:07] Yep, found my wife. [6:09] I had a couple of kids outside of that. [6:11] I don’t trust them. [6:12] I don’t need them. [6:12] I don’t like them.

[6:13] I don’t need anyone.

[6:17] So we have these two polar opposite realities. [6:20] One is we’re seeking people that look just like us. [6:25] Maybe they don’t look just like us, but they’re the fantasy us. [6:29] Then secondly, we’ve got a lot of us who just want to sit at home and be left alone after work every day. [6:34] And I’m not going to go to a community group. [6:36] I don’t need people.

[6:38] As opposed to what the Bible says, you really believe that you don’t need people. [6:41] Well, let’s let’s try to today form a gospel view of what real friendship is, of what real relationships look like. [6:48] So join me in Romans chapter 12, start reading in verse three. [6:53] Fooled you on that one. [6:54] You thought I’d start with one.

[6:58] For by the grace given to me, I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, [7:07] but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. [7:15] For as in one body, we have many members and the members do not all have the same function. [7:19] So we, though many, are one body in Christ and individually members of it. [7:25] Excuse me, members one of another having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us. [7:32] Let us use them if prophecy in proportion to our faith, if service in our serving,

[7:38] the one who teaches in his teaching, the one who exhorts in his exhortation, [7:43] the one who contributes in generosity, the one who leads with zeal, the one who acts of mercy with cheerfulness.

[7:53] Let love be genuine. [7:57] Now, I want to stop there for just a moment. [8:00] I just want to begin to unpack what exactly vantage point we’re coming at here. [8:05] I want you to know, first of all today, community is made genuine through the gospel.

[8:14] All right. This is the lens that Paul is coming at in Romans chapter 12. [8:17] For the first more than half of the book of Romans, Paul simply takes time and he unpacks, [8:25] basically for people that are less informed in Rome, the gospel. [8:30] He unpacks a theology of the gospel. [8:33] He explains the fall of man, sin of man. [8:36] He explains the redemption of man.

[8:38] And then he explains how man through redemption is set apart [8:43] so that the work of the Holy Spirit can be made true and shown true in the way that they live their lives. [8:50] And then in Romans chapter 12, he makes a bit of a shift and he begins through this vantage point of [8:57] Because that is true, this is how you should live your life. [9:04] And he begins in here and he starts off and he says, [9:08] because of everything that I’ve said, none of you ought to think more of yourselves

[9:14] than the grace of God reveals about you. [9:20] Your self-worth should not be built upon your abilities or your disabilities. [9:29] Your self-worth should not be built on what you are good at or what you are bad at. [9:35] When you view your worth through the gospel of grace, [9:41] your identity is found in one place. [9:45] And that is the person and work of Jesus.

[9:50] And so what he does is, is he goes through these verses [9:54] and he sets up the way in which God brings our identity together in Jesus. [10:01] And then through that, brings us together as a church, [10:06] using those different abilities, even though they’re completely different. [10:11] And all of us have different personalities. [10:14] All of us have different interests.

[10:15] All of us have different ways of doing things. [10:18] He brings us together and through this crazy cornucopia of mess, [10:25] he takes the gospel to the world.

[10:29] And he shows through this that whatever the Holy Spirit has empowered you to do in your life, [10:36] do it with everything that you have, side by side with people [10:40] who the Holy Spirit has empowered to do different things to the fullest of their abilities. [10:46] That’s what the church looks like. [10:49] The church looks like different people coming together to do my work. [10:54] So community, the relationships that we form in our lives must be informed by the gospel.

[11:03] They cannot be informed by what we want in our natural abilities, [11:09] tendencies, interests, hobbies, the way we dress, you know, our ethnicity, you know, anything. [11:16] They must be informed by the gospel

[11:24] because of what Jesus has done in the gospel. [11:27] All right. [11:28] Here’s why I stopped on let love be genuine, because a lot of what we base community on, [11:33] a lot of what our relationships will become in the gospel, [11:36] they must come from a foundation of genuine love. [11:42] And a lot of us, we struggle to build that.

[11:46] Because we don’t have very good definitions of what genuine love looks like. [11:51] But here’s the way John unpacks it in First John four. [11:54] Now, this is one of those verses. [11:56] If you grew up in church, you’re in children’s church and you’re like, [11:58] I love it. Let us love one another. [12:00] All right. But this is one of those verses you may know,

[12:02] but I want to really dissect it. [12:04] A lot of you didn’t go to children’s church. [12:06] In verse seven of John chapter four, he says, beloved, let us love one another. [12:12] For love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. [12:20] Anyone who does not love does not know God because God is love. [12:26] In this, the love of God was made manifest among us

[12:29] that God sent his only son into the world so that we might live through him. [12:34] All right. He gives some very big basis, which is not a word, but I liked it. [12:39] For what love should look like. [12:42] All right. Here’s what he says. [12:43] He says, number one, that love comes from God. [12:46] Then he says any human that loves must love because he’s been born of God.

[12:55] Now, through all of the theology of the scriptures, what do we see? [12:57] We see that the only people that have been born of God [13:00] are those who have come to faith in Jesus. [13:04] So in the context of love, the only people biblically [13:09] that know what genuine love looks like are people that find their trust, [13:15] hope, faith, everything in their lives in the person and work of Jesus.

[13:21] So love must emerge out of the transformation [13:26] that takes place in your life through the gospel. [13:29] Otherwise. It’s not genuine. [13:33] It’s something else. [13:35] At best, it is a definition of love [13:39] that is completely limited because it comes out of us who are sinful beings.

[13:46] Therefore, in the life of faith, we must humble ourselves to say [13:51] the only definition of love that is real is the definition that God puts on it. [13:57] Even if that means you admit that all that you believe about love is wrong.

[14:04] Maybe you’re like me and the first definition you ever got of love [14:08] from the movie Say Anything with John Cusack. [14:12] Where he stands with a boombox. [14:15] He says, don’t forget about me. [14:18] For me, it was like in high school, I’m going to have that moment. [14:21] I’m going to be that guy that wears the duster.

[14:24] Unfortunately, I didn’t get to high school until the 90s [14:26] and everybody sold their dusters and I would have just been a weirdo at my school. [14:30] So I didn’t wear the duster. [14:32] But everything that we believe and we know about love [14:35] typically comes out of some John Cusack movie. [14:38] Where it’s this romantic feeling that we have or that we want.

[14:45] And we spend our lives either consuming ourselves with not having it [14:50] or consuming ourselves with having some form of it [14:54] that the feeling kind of fades away after a few years of marriage [14:58] and you realize, oh my goodness, he’s gained 60 pounds.

[15:03] Why doesn’t he go to the gym anymore? [15:06] He doesn’t love me.

[15:09] So much of our problems with love come from a fact that we allow [15:15] that which is limited and that which falls short of God’s glory [15:20] to define what we’re seeking in it.

[15:25] So genuine love is not something that comes from inside of me. [15:30] Genuine love is something that comes from God towards me. [15:36] And unless I am filled with him,

[15:40] I can’t trust my definition of love. [15:44] Because my definition of love must come from the gospel [15:48] and it must be informed by the gospel [15:52] and it must value supremely the truth of the gospel. [15:58] Because community reflects my values.

[16:05] It does. [16:07] Community, the community that I form, [16:09] and let’s talk about it in this context of relationships. [16:13] Because that’s what you’re doing. [16:13] If you look at all the relationships in your life, it’s your community. [16:16] It’s what you’re living in.

[16:17] It’s what you’re thriving off of. [16:18] It’s what you’re building your life on. [16:21] The community that you live in your life reflects the values that you have. [16:24] Whatever you are building your community on [16:27] is what you value most highly in your life. [16:30] So here’s how we enter into community.

[16:33] You know, that person’s got a lot in common with me. [16:36] Of course, it starts with they’re a good-looking person because so am I. [16:41] We have common interests. [16:43] We have common desires. [16:44] We have common careers. [16:46] We have common hobbies.

[16:48] We have the same number of kids. [16:50] They’re close in age. [16:52] We’re very close in age. [16:53] Man, we could build a really good community though. [16:57]

[16:58] what does that type of community value the most? [17:02] Look in the mirror.

[17:05] I’m the god of that community. [17:07] Because it’s based on me. [17:09] And my perfect community.

[17:11] We get every UFC pay-per-view, [17:14] watch every NASCAR race,

[17:18] have red hair, [17:20] really good-looking, [17:22] don’t go to the dentist very often. [17:25] If you know me, that’s a joke because I went to the dentist [17:27] this week for the first time in like a decade. [17:29] And it was it was a fun experience except it wasn’t.

[17:33] Would have been delightful if it hadn’t been so miserable.

[17:37] But a community that reflects me, [17:40] my desires, [17:41] my wants, [17:43] and that can only show a love [17:47] that emerges from my definitions. [17:49] And according to a scripturally informed definition of love,

[17:53] that’s a love that will always be limited. [17:55] And therefore it’s a love that will always disappoint me. [17:58] Because in the end, I won’t find the satisfaction that only God can offer [18:01] through his type of love.

[18:04] Community must reflect the values of God. [18:08]

[18:10] in verses 9 through 13, [18:12] what we’re going to see is what type of community will come out of [18:15] a love that’s informed by the gospel. [18:18] Look back in verse 9 of Romans chapter 12.

[18:21] Let love be genuine. [18:24] Abhor what is evil. [18:25] Hold fast or firmly to what is good. [18:28] Love one another with brotherly affection. [18:31] Outdo one another in showing honor. [18:34] Do not be slothful in zeal.

[18:36] Be fervent in spirit. [18:38] Serve the Lord. [18:40] Rejoice in hope. [18:41] Be patient in tribulation. [18:43] Be constant in prayer. [18:45] Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.

[18:50] You’re like, that sounds great.

[18:54] As long as people have a lot in common with me. [18:58] I can show honor to people that are like me because they’re awesome. [19:02] And I honor their awesomeness. [19:04] I can rejoice with people that do the same thing as I do [19:07] because we’re going to be accomplishing the same things. [19:10] See, it’s very easy.

[19:12] Rejoice in tribulation because as long as everybody’s the same as me, [19:15] we won’t have many.

[19:19] You see, when I build a life surrounded with myself,

[19:26] sometimes we get passed to the gospel with what Paul will say [19:29] or John or any New Testament writer will say is an implication of the gospel [19:32] and we will think we’re doing really good at it. [19:36] But then there always typically comes a day where we’re a little bit dissatisfied with it [19:41] and we’re like, I’m showing all the honor in the world and life isn’t that great for me.

[19:47] It’s because you didn’t start with a basis of the love that God started with. [19:51] Here’s what I’m talking about. [19:54] Community involves sacrifice.

[19:57] It does.

[19:59] You see, everything that we just read in verses 9 through 13 [20:02] are things that are formed with lives that are lived for and through the gospel of Jesus Christ. [20:11] But here’s the key issue. [20:13] We have to first know what the gospel looks like in order to know how we’re supposed to get there. [20:18] Why is showing honor such a big deal? [20:20] We have to do that to our bosses all the time or they’ll fire us.

[20:24] So why is that such a big deal? I have to do it anyway. [20:27] Here’s why. [20:29] The community that God wants us to build is not built on my personality or my interests. [20:36] The community that God wants to build is a community that’s built on his desire [20:41] and his purpose of the mission of Jesus in my life. [20:45] And so I have to ask myself, if this is going to take place in the local church for redemption,

[20:51] what type of people does God redeem? [20:54] Look in John chapter 15. [20:56] We’ll start reading in verse 13. It’ll be on the screens. [20:59] Let’s go further into that aspect of love. [21:01] Greater love has no one than this. [21:03] That someone lay down his life for his friends.

[21:07] You are my friends if you do what I command you. [21:10] No longer do I call you servants. [21:13] For the servant does not know what his master is doing. [21:16] But I have called you friends. [21:19] For all that I have heard from my father, I have made known to you.

[21:27] Now, Jesus is giving us a definition of friendship right here. [21:31] And he starts off, greater love has no one than this. [21:34] And then he’s laying down his life for his friends. [21:35] And you’re like, I would lay down my life for my friend. [21:37] Would you lay down your life for people that aren’t your friends? [21:40] And for some of you, you may say, yeah, but maybe you’re just masochistic.

[21:46] Jesus lays his life down for people that are not his friends. [21:50] People that do not love him. [21:51] People who are rebelling against him actively. [21:55] So why are they his friends? [21:56] They’re his friends because in the context of the purpose of God eternally, [22:01] he desires to redeem people who are living an act of rebellion against him.

[22:06] And he just simply says, you are my friends [22:09] because of what I’m going to do. [22:13] Now look back in verse nine, it says, let love be genuine.

[22:22] Look back verse three.

[22:26] For by the grace given to me, I say to everyone among you [22:31] not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think.

[22:40] So we see Jesus as standard of friendship. [22:44] It’s a friendship based on the eternal purpose of God [22:46] to redeem for himself a people, [22:48] to bring him ultimate glory through worship forever and ever.

[22:52] Our purpose of friendship typically is all about us. [22:57] And if genuine love is love that is informed by [23:03] and lived for the gospel, for the joy of other people, [23:07] then if we base our friendships and the people that we will enter into community [23:13] with on our own common interests, [23:15] I put forward to you that we are thinking more highly of ourselves

[23:19] than we ought to think, because if I allow myself to be defined by the gospel, [23:25] I am a person that does not deserve to be friends with Jesus. [23:32] But in spite of having nothing in common, [23:35] where my interests looked nothing like his, [23:38] in spite of everything that I was doing to the contrary, [23:41] Jesus comes down, gives himself over for me,

[23:45] dies for me, raises so that I can experience his life, [23:50] and he says, you’re my friend.

[23:54] And then he transforms me and he says, live like me.

[24:00] There is a deeper purpose for the relationships in my life [24:05] than I typically try to find.

[24:12] Because all love is some kind of sacrifice, [24:15] and I think we have these faulty views, [24:17] I don’t think we would disagree with that. [24:20] Sometimes my wife doesn’t want seafood, so I eat tacos. [24:24] You see the huge sacrifice there? [24:26] Yeah.

[24:27] I’m a saint. [24:30] No. [24:31] That’s not real sacrifice.

[24:35] The gospel is sacrifice. [24:39] But typically our view of sacrifice is very negative. [24:42] It’s me not getting something that I want. [24:45] But here’s how the gospel turns out on its head. [24:48] Because I don’t think any of us could have looked at the cross [24:51] the day that it happened and said anything positive.

[24:53] I mean, the cross is something very ugly. [24:58] It’s disgusting. [24:59] But in Hebrews chapter 12, verse 2, [25:02] it says that Jesus, for the joy, [25:05] for the joy that was set before him, [25:10] he endured the cross.

[25:13] Even though it was very shameful, he despised the shame, [25:16] but for the joy that was before him, he did it. [25:19] What is that joy in the face of sacrifice? [25:22] What is that? [25:23] How can Jesus say he’s going to die and then say, [25:27] it’s about friendship and it’s going to create friendship.

[25:30] It’s going to create meaningful relationships. [25:32] How can he possibly say that? [25:36] Because our view of sacrifice is not informed by the gospel. [25:40] Because God has a joy in store for us in his life [25:46] that we cannot even imagine. [25:49] And you’re like, it doesn’t sound very much fun

[25:53] being in relationship with people that aren’t a lot like me. [25:57] And I say, you have a faulty view of joy. [26:01] Because faith is believing that God’s desires are better than mine. [26:08] That God’s ways are better than mine. [26:11] That God knows more than I do. [26:14] And when God says, joy is found in sacrifice,

[26:19] it’s because he knows what the joy on the other side of that sacrifice [26:23] is going to look like and it’s going to look amazingly better [26:26] and so much greater than the joy I was experiencing before the sacrifice [26:30] that I’ll look back at that sacrifice and say, it was worth it. [26:34] See, in Luke chapter 9, Jesus says something very interesting to us.

[26:40] He’s talking to his disciples and a few others and he says, [26:43] he said to all, if anyone would come after me, [26:45] let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. [26:49] For whoever would save his life will lose it. [26:52] Whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. [26:56] And that just sounds very negative

[26:58] as if Christianity is this ascetic religion [27:01] all about self-denial, all about denying pleasure, [27:05] all about not experiencing real happiness, real joy. [27:09] It’s just about, oh, if it feels good, deny it.

[27:14] It’s like that youth group view where it’s like all your friends are sinning [27:18] and you’re like, oh, that looks like fun, can’t do it.

[27:24] Now, that is a positive verse in the light of the gospel. [27:28] See, because without the gospel, that doesn’t make any sense to you. [27:30] But here’s what God is actually saying. [27:32] Everything that you believe will give you joy in this life [27:37] that is not about me, about God.

[27:42] Is not real joy.

[27:46] You must deny the lie of this world and the sin that it is saturated in. [27:56] Lose that life so that you can save it, [28:00] so that you can experience the eternal joy that God has in store. [28:05] See, here’s what we need to do. [28:06] Here’s how we need to see that in the lens of community. [28:09] We must begin to be a people that deny our individualistic instinct

[28:16] to account ourselves as better than other people. [28:20] We must deny that instinct to seek this fantasy land that doesn’t exist [28:25] where I’m only going to be able to go and be with people [28:28] who have everything in common with me, [28:30] who look like me, who talk like me, are educated like me, [28:34] are healthy like me, have kids like me, have a wife like me,

[28:38] have a job like me, have everything like me. [28:42] We must deny that so that we can be like God.

[28:50] And say, I have a greater purpose than me.

[28:57] My purpose is the Gospel of Jesus. [29:02] And our relationships, just like everything else in our life,

[29:07] exist to show the greatness of the Gospel of Jesus. [29:14] And you’re like, how do I do that? [29:16] What does that look like?

[29:21] Community invites us to participate in the Gospel. [29:28] You say, how in the world do my relationships have anything to do [29:31] with participating in the Gospel? [29:33] Here’s what I mean. [29:37] Romans chapter 12 starts with two of the most popular verses in Scripture. [29:42] We put them on t-shirts for youth groups.

[29:45] We do evangelism explosion about them. [29:47] We do everything about them. [29:49] Here’s what it says.

[29:52] I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, [29:55] to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, [29:58] wholly unacceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. [30:01] Do not be conformed to this world, [30:04] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, [30:07] that by testing you may discern what is the will of God,

[30:10] what is good and acceptable and perfect. [30:12] And then he immediately goes into the fact that Gospel Community [30:17] is the local church where different people come together [30:20] by the grace of God to serve his purpose for the Gospel.

[30:25] And if all I ever let enter into my life are people that are just like me, [30:29] I will never experience a church the way in which God intended for me to. [30:38] When we flesh it out, [30:39] Paul gives us the context in which we are to live out that sacrifice. [30:45] It is the context of lives joined together as the local church [30:49] to help each other live the mission of Jesus.

[30:52] I believe that is where we struggle to be living sacrifices. [30:56] We struggle to do it because inside of us, [31:01] we believe that there is more to our relationships than the Gospel.

[31:07] There can’t be.

[31:11] Because if the Gospel of Jesus is to define everything about my life, [31:17] how in the world could I possibly build my relationships on anything else [31:22] and expect it to be good?

[31:26] Because if I build my life on anything other than the Gospel, [31:30] it will not bring God ultimate glory [31:33] and I will always live with less than God intended for me to. [31:39] I won’t have as much as God promised.

[31:44] Can you say, so I’m not allowed to hang out with people that are like me? [31:48] No. [31:50] Well, yes. [31:51] Wait a second. [31:54] Thankfully, by the grace of God,

[32:01] He provides people that like the same thing about you.

[32:08] But here’s what I’m talking about at this point. [32:11] If I never grow past that, [32:15] have I really grown?

[32:21] If I never grow past these meaningless, trivial hobbies that I have,

[32:32] have I grown? [32:34] In the Gospel.

[32:37] Because here’s the picture. [32:39] Remember, in the Gospel, God transforms us and then He says, [32:42] be my followers, right? [32:44] So He equips us, He transforms us, and we follow Jesus. [32:47] What does Jesus do in the Gospel? [32:49] Here’s what informs my relationships.

[32:52] And here’s why, even though it’s very hard, [32:56] I’m not telling you this is easy, this is hard. [32:58] It’s very hard. [33:00] It’s difficult to live in a relationship with people [33:03] that you really don’t have that much in common with.

[33:06] Here’s what Jesus does.

[33:09] Here’s the picture of the work of the Gospel in Ephesians, chapter 2, [33:13] starting in verse 13. [33:15] But now, in Christ Jesus, you who once were off, [33:19] excuse me, were far off, have been brought near by the blood of Christ. [33:23] For He Himself is our peace, who has made us both one, [33:27] and has broken down in the flesh the dividing wall of hostility

[33:31] by abolishing the law of commandments, [33:33] expressing in ordinances that He might create in Himself one new man [33:38] in place of two, so making peace, [33:42] and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, [33:47] thereby killing the hostility. [33:53] Here’s how God finds glory.

[33:57] He looks for the least likely people to ever follow Him [34:03] and through the power of the Gospel, He changes them.

[34:10] He looks for the least likely of fishermen,

[34:15] and He starts a revolution through them that confounds seminarians.

[34:24] He finds people that have nothing in common [34:28] and then brings them to Himself, and they live their lives by the Gospel.

[34:33] And they come together through the Gospel. [34:38] And when somebody that doesn’t believe in Jesus looks to them and says, [34:41] you two have nothing in common with each other, [34:46] how is it that you have a friendship? [34:49] And you look at them and you say, [34:53] because our friendship is based on something bigger than both of us,

[34:57] it’s based on the Gospel.

[35:01] Because you see, that’s what God wants. [35:05] He wants everything in my life

[35:09] to be a little bit confusing to those who don’t know the Gospel.

[35:14] So that when they look and they see that I have this value of people, [35:17] where when I’m wronged I forgive, [35:19] where I show honor to those that don’t seem to be anything like me, [35:24] or have much in common with me, [35:26] or they don’t even do anything for me, yet I’m showing them honor. [35:29] I’m actually seeking to outdo them in showing honor.

[35:34] And then that person comes back and he shows honor. [35:37] He’s showing honor off. [35:39] You’ll get that on the ride home.

[35:43] And they say, I don’t… [35:46] What makes you love each other with this affection like you’re siblings?

[35:53] And then you look at them and you say,

[35:57] because there was this great wall between me and God, [36:01] and in spite of every reason he shouldn’t be my friend,

[36:10] he made me his friend.

[36:13] And so I seek to honor him by doing the same, [36:20] starting in the church,

[36:24] and then going outside of the walls to my workplace, [36:28] to my school, [36:29] to my family,

[36:33] to where the grace of God is seen as this mighty life-changing force [36:40] where we can actually look at it and say, [36:46] I’m experiencing genuine love.

[36:51] Maybe what God is doing by bringing so many different types of people together [36:56] is for His glory.

[37:00] I think that’s why He doesn’t like religious people because they get all the glory.

[37:04] Maybe God’s just trying to show off what He can do. [37:10] I don’t know about you,

[37:14] but in spite of everything my personality says, [37:18] and my desires and my interests, you know, all that stuff, [37:21] I want to be a part of what God’s going to do.

[37:26] And so I don’t care if you like UFC.

[37:29] I don’t care if you hate NASCAR. Just don’t tell me. [37:33] Why do I want to be in a relationship with you?

[37:37] Because God for some reason wanted to be in a relationship with me. [37:41] And that’s all I ever needed.

[37:44] Father would love you.

[37:51] God, I can honestly say that I have no idea why you love me.

[37:58] God, I pray that you would bring great repentance into my life [38:00] and that I would stop thinking more of myself than I ought to think [38:03] in light of the grace of God that I need every single day. [38:09] Lord, I pray that when outsiders look at the village,

[38:15] they would begin to see a place where love is genuine, [38:21] where we love like you,

[38:25] where it’s not about our commonalities, [38:27] it’s not about our grievances,

[38:31] but rather our relationships are based on the forgiveness of you [38:34] through the grace of your son Jesus.