Lust.

Steve Gentry

[0:06] We’ll go ahead and have a seat. [0:07] Welcome to Village Church. [0:09] If this is your first time here, my name’s Steve, one of the pastors here at Village [0:12] Church. [0:12] And as always, I’m thankful and grateful to see each and every one of you. [0:17] Now I’m going to talk about Father’s Day in a second, but before we get into that, just

[0:23] a little bit of a qualification for today’s sermon. [0:26] It is going to be of a mature nature simply because of where we are in the book of Matthew. [0:32] And so I’m not going to seek to be vulgar or intentionally crass this morning, but [0:39] we will be dealing with the issue of lust. [0:42] And so if you have any children in here, and I can’t always see everyone, so if you have [0:46] any children in here who are young and you haven’t had certain conversations with them

[0:51] and you don’t want to have certain conversations with them this afternoon, this could be a [0:56] great opportunity for them to check out Village Kids. [0:59] And so if you so choose, if that’s your choosing this morning. [1:04] And so between that and the sermon, I’m going to talk about Father’s Day to give you that [1:08] opportunity. [1:09] But today is Father’s Day, so happy Father’s Day.

[1:12] I am a father, so I’m saying that to myself as well. [1:16] But the key with fatherhood, and here’s what usually happens, is the joke, I guess, amongst [1:20] pastors is that on Mother’s Day we extol the virtues of motherhood and we talk about [1:26] how awesome moms are and if it wasn’t for mom, we’d be dead in a ditch somewhere. [1:31] On Father’s Day, we tell all the guys to man up, toughen up, and stop being losers. [1:36] All right?

[1:37] And so it is odd the way that we do that. [1:41] And so I’m not going to do that this morning. [1:44] I do want to just for a moment extol the virtue of fatherhood and explain, just in [1:50] brief, why fathers are so important, because I believe the father is integral to the makeup [1:57] of the family. [1:58] And every statistic, every study, not just in Christian study and in studies that the

[2:04] church has done, but also in secular studies done by many research groups and psychologists, [2:10] psychiatrists, it is shown that the absence of a father is very, very difficult at minimum [2:19] to overcome. [2:22] And so if you are a father, understand that everything that we know, not just from Scripture, [2:27] but also from outside of Scripture, shows us that you bear a great responsibility where [2:35] your wife and children are concerned.

[2:38] And I want you to own that and I want you to live, to embrace the beauty and the work [2:46] and the spirituality in all ways of what being a father is all about. [2:52] The greatest privilege that I’ve ever had in my life is to be the father of my three [2:56] children. [2:57] It’s truly life changing. [2:58] As soon as those children are born, it’s terrifying, but it’s also wonderful.

[3:03] And it’s a great responsibility that day in and day out, I must look in the mirror and [3:08] say, am I being the father that I can be? [3:12] And there’s really two ways that I just want to share this morning for you to be the father [3:17] that you can be. [3:18] The first one is to embrace the grace of Jesus Christ in your life. [3:23] I can teach you all sorts of behaviors.

[3:25] I can read all sorts of self-help books about what a father needs to do. [3:29] But if you miss the grace of Jesus Christ, you will simply modify your behavior and [3:34] seek to modify the behavior of your children. [3:36] And ultimately, you or your children or both of you will either burn out or simply become [3:42] self-righteous. [3:42] And I don’t want you to be that because that’s not helpful to you.

[3:45] It’s not healthy for you. [3:46] It’s not helpful to your children. [3:48] It’s not healthy for your children. [3:49] The best way for you to be the greatest father you can be is to embrace the grace of Jesus [3:54] Christ in your life. [3:55] Seek forgiveness from him where you fall short, but also seek to live his example of what

[4:02] love and life and mercy and grace and obedience are all about. [4:07] But the second thing that you need to do after you embrace the grace of Jesus Christ [4:11] is to accept responsibility for your life and the lives of those who are dependent [4:15] on you. [4:16] And I’ve had the great privilege of knowing many men who do this, but I’ve also seen [4:22] the tragedy of men who don’t do this, men who are selfish, men who are abusive, men

[4:28] who take advantage of other people, and men who are simply apathetic and passive where [4:33] their families are concerned. [4:35] And that is that is hard to overcome for families. [4:39] And so if you’re in here and you’re a father, accept the responsibility of being a father [4:43] because it’s the greatest joy, earthly joy that I’ve ever known and that you can ever [4:49] know.

[4:49] Children are a wonderful gift from God. [4:51] And also if you’re in here and you’re a guy and you and your wife can biologically have [4:55] it, you need to have some kids because it will sanctify you. [5:01] I’m just going to be straight up with you. [5:03] You are going to learn selfishness the longer you wait before you have kids and you’re [5:07] just going to get more and more selfish every single year that you live without children.

[5:12] And then eventually you’re going to be in your 40s and then you’re going to do the [5:14] math and you’re like, how long till they’re 18? [5:16] Oh, no, I’m going to be on Social Security. [5:19] All right. [5:20] So have children younger than you think you need to have them. [5:23] Embrace the responsibility, accept the grace of Jesus Christ and love your children because

[5:28] they are the most important thing that you will ever have in your life. [5:32] I love my father. [5:33] I love being a father. [5:35] I love me. [5:36] So so this is a wonderful day. [5:39] Father’s Day.

[5:40] So so celebrate your dad if you’ve got a good dad. [5:44] And if you’re one of those people that think I don’t have a good dad. [5:48] Well, if you know him and even if he’s still in the same house and you think he falls [5:53] short of every expectation you have, this is a great day for you to embrace the grace [5:57] of Jesus Christ and forgive someone. [6:00] Love on your dad today, no matter what, because he needs it.

[6:04] And I know sometimes we act like we don’t, but we do. [6:07] We do. All right. [6:08] So happy Father’s Day. [6:09] All right. Now, in the book of Matthew, we’re in chapter five. [6:14] And let’s talk about lust, baby. [6:16] Let’s talk about you and me.

[6:19] Verse twenty seven. [6:21] Some of you are from the 80s and 90s.

[6:25] Here’s the words of Jesus Christ. [6:28] You have heard that it was said, you shall not commit adultery. [6:33] But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent [6:37] has already committed adultery with her in his heart. [6:41] If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. [6:45] For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be

[6:50] thrown into hell. [6:52] And if your right hand causes you to sin. [6:56] Listen to the words of Jesus here. [6:59] Cut it off and throw it away. [7:02] For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into [7:09] hell.

[7:09] Now, I’m only going to say this once. [7:12] And I’m not going to believe the point, but I believe that there is a reason that [7:19] Jesus looks to specifically men. [7:22] He’s speaking to men in this part of the sermon, and he says, your eye and your hand. [7:30] Let the hearer understand. [7:33] Verse thirty one.

[7:35] It was also said, whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce. [7:41] But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual [7:46] immorality, makes her commit adultery. [7:49] Whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. [7:54] Now, last week, we got into the heart of the Sermon on the Mount. [7:58] And I say that because as people, we tend to understand things a little better when

[8:05] we get to things that we can apply to everyday life. [8:09] And so when Jesus jumps in and he deals specifically with the issue of anger last week, this is [8:13] something that we can begin to understand. [8:16] Because we know, OK, I am angry. [8:19] That is not God’s ideal. [8:20] What do I do?

[8:22] And he says, embrace faith. [8:24] Trust in him. [8:25] Follow him. [8:26] Trust in Jesus. [8:28] Accept grace. [8:29] The new creation of the Beatitudes, the new creation of a city on a hill, of a salt of

[8:35] the earth lifestyle, of a light that is to shine through the darkness and show everybody [8:40] the grace of Jesus Christ. [8:43] But he’s going to continue part after part, phrase after phrase, to give us things that [8:48] we can apply. [8:50] And this morning, we’re going to talk about lust. [8:53] Now, if you think you’re uncomfortable talking about lust, imagine how I must feel right

[8:57] now. [8:57] OK, so can we just get a mulligan here? [9:00] I will read the verses, but talk about the next section because I don’t know. [9:05] And so I will tell you that I’m probably going to say some things that you may not appreciate [9:13] because of some of the activity that you have in your life today. [9:16] And the reason that I’m going to have to do that is because of how serious Jesus is taking

[9:21] this issue of lust. [9:22] I mean, he takes this issue so serious that he uses hyperbolic language to explain it. [9:28] Now, I do not think Jesus is literally saying, cut your eye out, cut your hand off. [9:33] I think he’s using the literary device of hyperbole here. [9:36] He’s overstating the case to show the severity of the issue. [9:42] But he is saying this is so severe, it would be better for you to handicap yourself because

[9:49] lust is incompatible with faith in Jesus Christ. [9:55] It is that serious of an issue. [9:57] And he takes a deep dive into our hearts to let us know, point number one this morning, [10:02] that you should probably take lust more seriously than you do. [10:06] You should probably take lust more seriously than you do. [10:10] And the issue that you need to deal with this morning is that what Jesus talks about here

[10:15] is that lust is so serious that heaven and hell are divided by this issue. [10:22] He says adultery is the outlet by which a lifestyle of lust finds its ultimate outlet. [10:33] And then he goes into the issue of divorce saying that these are not separated issues. [10:39] But what we do is we live in a culture that is going to condition you [10:43] to believe that the line where you are entering into a life of lust is further and further [10:51] and further and further so that before you know it, you are indulging in pornography,

[10:57] all the while denying that you are indulging in pornography. [11:01] And so I can’t get through this sermon this morning without dealing with that vital issue [11:05] that now in this era is not just an issue that men deal with. [11:10] It is an issue that both men and women’s statistics are showing us deal with from very, [11:15] very young ages. [11:18] And so I’m going to begin by talking about the spiritual reality of taking lust seriously.

[11:23] Then I’m going to go into a very what I think is practical issue where I’m going to tell half of [11:29] you to stop many of the activities that you’re engaging in and trying to defend as a righteous [11:35] activity all the while not realizing you’re opening Pandora’s box of lust in your life and [11:41] you’re ruining your future marriage or you are ruining your current marriage because of what [11:46] you’re delving into on a daily basis basically. [11:50] And then I’m going to talk about how to deal with it by grace.

[11:54] So I’m just letting you know where I’m going. [11:57] You need to take sin as seriously as Jesus does and you probably don’t. [12:01] And this is something that sometimes surprises me that when I will tell someone the safeguards [12:08] that I have in my life or we will talk about safeguards that we have in our marriage. [12:13] We will talk about things that we don’t partake in things that we do partake in and people will [12:17] look at us as if we’ve grown second and third heads because it’s so unusual to them.

[12:22] Why why would you put barriers in your life to anything? [12:25] Well it’s because we want to have a healthy marriage because I personally believe that the [12:32] only sexual outlet I will ever need in my life is my wife. [12:39] There are certain parts of the female anatomy that I’m going to put obstacles as many as [12:44] possible about so that my wives are the only that I ever see.

[12:50] But many of you excuse the things that you watch on television. [12:55] Things that you watch on HBO. [12:58] The websites that you go to the things that you will even do in public. [13:03] And you will try to baptize it in freedom in Christ without ever going and saying I think [13:10] Jesus takes this issue a little more seriously than I do. [13:13] I mean Jesus is talking about literally amputating limbs to avoid lust and some of us won’t even

[13:20] turn the channel. [13:22] Some of us won’t even close our browser. [13:24] Some of us are unwilling to put filters on our internet or to put accountability software [13:29] on our phones. [13:31] When Jesus is saying that it is better to cut your hand off than go to hell. [13:36] He is saying that if you continue to indulge in your lust if you continue to indulge in sexual

[13:43] immorality. [13:45] He takes it so seriously that he’s saying your faith simply will not survive. [13:52] And you will end up separated from God for eternity. [13:57] If you do not take this issue seriously. [14:00] Friends the first step of repentance of lust is to admit that you have an issue with it. [14:06] Do you understand that?

[14:08] That’s always the first step. [14:10] Men the first step of dealing with your pornography addiction. [14:13] Is to admit that you have an issue. [14:17] Is to confess it. [14:19] And you’re not fooling me. [14:22] I’ve long told people and it’s probably higher than I said it but if you’re under the age of 40

[14:26] and you try to tell me you’ve never looked at porn I already know I’m dealing with a liar. [14:30] And so I can’t trust you at all. [14:34] That’s how prevalent this issue is. [14:38] Is that you’ve all delved into it. [14:40] And statistically the percentage cannot be exaggerated to how many of you struggle with [14:46] an addiction.

[14:48] What is lust? [14:50] Well in the original language the participle that Jesus uses here is the idea of someone who [14:56] continues to look rather than just casting a passing glance. [15:02] In other words there’s a big difference between driving down the road seeing them jogging in [15:07] clothes and just keep driving and making a U-turn so you can get a second look. [15:13] There’s a big difference.

[15:15] It’s that second look where you dwell where you gaze where you do not break the eye contact. [15:23] That is where you are entering into the field of lust. [15:28] The other idea here and the reason that Jesus joins it with adultery is because Jesus is [15:34] saying it is the idea that you want to commit adultery. [15:41] He’s dealing with a married crowd here and he’s dealing specifically with the issue of lust [15:47] inside of marriage but the same thing can be said about the term fornication which is sexual

[15:53] impurity in part before you are married. [15:57] It’s the same idea. [15:58] Is that you want something that God says is reserved for either later in life or for one [16:07] individual that you have a covenant with and you want it with someone other than your spouse or [16:14] you are indulging in it. [16:16] You are addicted to it.

[16:18] You cannot get over the mindset of it and it will cripple your life. [16:25] It is the lingering gaze that finds you guilty and what is fascinating is that we don’t have to [16:31] do this publicly so we don’t have to go searching for scantily clad people. [16:37] I’m tempted to always say scantily clad women but then films like Magic Mike come out and [16:42] women are like well my husband can’t look at porn but isn’t it funny.

[16:48] You are indulging in pornography. [16:50] That’s what you need to understand. [16:52] This is not just a sin that men are guilty of and so many women were offended to find their [17:02] husbands looking at pornography yet Channing Tatum takes his pants off and you are like where do I [17:08] buy the ticket.

[17:11] That’s how serious this issue is and even inside of the church we joke about it. [17:16] This is not a laughing matter. [17:18] Your sexual integrity is the most important aspect of the covenant of marriage in your life [17:27] and it will destroy not just your marriage which it will but Jesus is telling us it will [17:37] destroy our very lives. [17:40] You see the pursuit of holiness is a Christian distinctive.

[17:45] Part of the issue with lust is that rather than being passionate about holiness you become [17:51] passionate about being culturally conditioned to accept more and more of lustful activity [17:59] in your life. [18:00] That’s why the apostle Paul states this in first Corinthians six. [18:04] He says do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God. [18:09] You’re like well yeah but note what he says next do not be deceived.

[18:14] You see whenever you see something like that in scripture he’s making an assumption you [18:17] know the assumption that he’s making that you are easily deceived and the most deception [18:24] that comes into your life is self deception. [18:27] That’s why I’ll say some things today and you will just that inner lawyer will go off [18:31] in your head and you’ll be like oh well it’s not like that for me. [18:35] I can look at this stuff all day and there’s no lust yeah sure.

[18:39] Do not be deceived. [18:41] Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who practice homosexuality [18:46] nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor revilers nor swindlers will inherit the [18:50] kingdom of God and such were some of you were past tense but you were washed you were sanctified [19:00] you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ by the spirit of our God. [19:05] I don’t have time to execute this entire text but I want you to notice

[19:09] the attention given to various types of sexual sin but notice also that right in the middle [19:17] of various sexual sins is the issue of idolatry and so what Jesus is telling through the apostle [19:24] Paul here is that when you consume lust because of your appetite you are creating a false God [19:34] seeking satisfaction in something that you were never designed to seek satisfaction in [19:40] and rather than seeking to excuse and minimize the effects of lust in your life and the source [19:47] that tempts you to lust friends the apostle Paul saying make war on your lust.

[19:55] See when you are making war on something you won’t spend time trying to excuse it [20:01] you won’t spend time trying to rationalize it you will spend time trying to kill it. [20:09] You know I hate weeds in the yard I mean who doesn’t all right but they just keep growing [20:14] they keep growing and do you ever go out there and say you know what that weed’s not that bad [20:21] I’m talking about a true yard man here some of you just have weeds and that’s it

[20:27] but a true yard man all right you go outside and you see that weed you don’t try to make [20:31] it more comfortable you don’t try to excuse it and say you know it’s almost the same color [20:35] as the blade of grass beside it you don’t try to cultivate the soil around it say are you [20:41] comfortable no you go out there with a shovel or you go out there with some roundup and you make [20:46] war you try to kill it for so many of you you don’t understand that the weeds of lust that [20:55] are growing in the yard of your life will choke out the healthy grass it will ruin the healthy

[21:02] soil and after a while all that you will have in the art of your life is weeds all that you will [21:09] it will consume you but god wants you to experience freedom in his excuse me design [21:17] for healthy sexuality it’s not an accident that jesus follows a section where he shows the [21:22] seriousness of the sin of lust with a section about the end of marriage relationships it’s no [21:29] accident he is drawing a direct parallel between the health of your marriage and the health of your [21:36] heart he’s drawing a direct parallel between the health of your marriage and the secret

[21:44] sins of your life you may be deceiving yourself to say that the lust that is prevalent in your [21:52] life is not affecting your relationship i promise you that it is i promise you that even your [22:00] personality will change the more and more you consume the more and more you give into the [22:08] temptation to lust and i realize i’m not saying that lust is temptation lust is not temptation

[22:16] lust is the sin lust is what you give into but you excuse it because it happens internally and [22:23] believe that there are no victims outside of yourself no friend there are and i want to tell [22:31] you that the desire and passion that can be turned into lust is actually designed by god to be pointed [22:40] in the right direction so i’ve met with some guys that struggle with this issue and they will tell [22:46] me i have prayed that god would just take this passion away from me this desire away from me [22:50] i say no no no no no no no your wife won’t appreciate that the prayer needs god help me to

[22:59] turn this erotic desire in the right direction because there is an outlet for those passions [23:07] that god has designed and here’s what i want you to understand that god is worshiped by it but we [23:14] have turned that desire into such a dirty thing that we cannot imagine that god is glorified by [23:21] it being turned any direction friend when you turn it towards your spouse the father in heaven [23:27] looks down and he is pleased that is so hard for some of you to believe and some of you are like [23:33] well i don’t want anybody watching he needs to turn around but god is glorified because you are

[23:41] out his design you are living out the direction that your passions were designed to go towards [23:50] in your life and you are to protect those erotic desires they are to be sanctified they are for [23:59] the marriage bed the scripture tells us but i’ll tell you friend every moment you give into lust [24:05] is a wager against the future intimacy that god has in store for you [24:13] you are placing a bet against your future every time you look at pornography [24:20] you are placing a bet against the joy that god has designed for you to have in a week

[24:27] in a month in a year in five years every time you point your desires in the wrong [24:35] direction you are saying god i don’t believe you have better for me and that is why this is an [24:43] issue of faith number two this morning employ radical measures to fight lust employ radical [24:50] measures to fight lust the gospel means that change is possible and most likely painful [24:59] i want you to understand that it will be painful it will be embarrassing but you need to [25:09] fully give into the fight fully admit your weaknesses fully begin to employ strategies

[25:16] in order to find victory and obedience in the life that you need to have you must understand [25:23] that god does not forbid sexual immorality because he wants you to be miserable do you know that

[25:29] god forbids it because it’s destructive god forbids it because it is not his design [25:36] it leads to brokenness sadness emptiness death and here’s what jesus says hell that’s the parallel [25:44] jesus drugs he says this will be an issue that if you do not deal with it in your life it will [25:49] ultimately end in hell for you and he embraces a painful analogy here and i think the reason [25:56] he embraces painful analogy here because he knows how hard the fight is going to be against lust [26:01] he says to pluck your eye out which i’ve seen a couple of action movies where people have done

[26:06] that to other people and that doesn’t look pleasant he also says to cut your hand off [26:15] i don’t want to do that but what do i need to do well if you believe the gospel of jesus christ if [26:22] you want to glorify god if you are in here and you are married i had this a little later on the [26:27] list but i think i need to start with it you need to confess your sin to your spouse [26:32] you say that’ll ruin my marriage friend you’re already there

[26:38] you say it’ll end my marriage she’ll never forgive me trust god with that you need to [26:45] have a hard conversation with your wife the sooner the better i’ve had some very hard [26:52] conversations with my wife over the years but when i have talked to her about my struggles with lust [27:00] do you know what i find every time more grace and real freedom freedom because when she knows [27:10] my struggles she knows how to love me well she knows how to protect me she knows how to [27:18] communicate with me and i know the kind of husband that she needs me to be for her when she confesses

[27:26] her struggles to me you see the lie that some of us believe is that there is a place in our lives [27:33] where less communication will lead to a better marriage that is literally never true never never [27:40] never never over communication is your goal in marriage the more you communicate in your marriage [27:47] the more healthy that you will be and some of you say but i’ve confessed it to god therefore i am [27:54] forgiven how’s that working for you so for many of you every confession is just an excuse for [28:02] another sin because you are dealing with forgiveness as a light matter but here’s the deal that you

[28:08] need to understand and i do believe is more prevalent for men than it is women if this is [28:12] you and you are a female in here and it applies to you i mean it towards you as well but i’m a [28:20] husband you’ve not just sinned against god that’s the lie that you’re telling yourself

[28:29] you have sinned against your wife and if the shoe fits vice versa then wives you have sinned [28:37] against your husband and you need to deal with that you need to filter your internet [28:45] you say well this isn’t a sermon where i struggle it doesn’t matter still need to do it [28:49] you need to filter your internet you need accountability software every single one of you [28:54] every man in here needs accountability software every woman in here should probably get accountability [28:58] software every one of you not because behavior modification is the goal but because when you

[29:06] embrace the grace of jesus christ the grace of jesus christ leads to a heart that wants to obey [29:13] its creator and the one who gave his life for us and so you will employ strategies [29:20] to deal with your sin they’re not perfect strategies there might be failure in the road [29:26] many times but when you are seeking strategies when you are going the extra mile when you are [29:31] actually trying to obey your creator god you will experience life-changing grace and every guy that [29:39] has employed real strategies to deal with lust have experienced more grace and more victory

[29:49] every single one let me tell you something it’s embarrassing it’s embarrassing but you need to [29:57] deal with it you need to admit that lust is more prevalent in your life and the culture wants to [30:05] you towards it some of you at night you need to give your spouse your phone [30:12] you need to for some of you it’s so that you won’t use your phone to look at sinful images [30:17] for others of you it’s so that you will stop committing emotional adultery with someone [30:23] you’re texting with friends that’s just as much lust as looking at pornography it’s just as

[30:33] destructive it’s just as unhealthy right and i want to deal with some things that the culture [30:39] is conditioning us towards lust and we’re making more excuses for it now i understand that this [30:43] show just ended but game of thrones is pornography it’s pornography all right if you’re in here and [30:51] you watch it whatever but it’s pornography and so wives and i want to deal specifically with wives [30:59] if you’re sitting with your husband watching game of thrones and then later you find them [31:04] on the internet looking at pornography i’ll tell you what the gateway drug was

[31:10] it was game of thrones and here’s the deal i didn’t know what game of thrones was all right [31:16] i’ve never seen a full episode i had heard of it and we had one of those free weekends of hbo [31:21] and so i said oh my goodness they’re showing that game of thrones thing it’s about [31:25] maybe it’s like lord of the rings and so i was so embarrassed because i said jesse watch this with [31:32] me within five minutes i saw everything of both sexes within five minutes and i said this is not [31:42] what i thought it was and so we turned it off and that’s all i’ve ever seen of it but that was enough

[31:48] not because you know steve is just as holier than thou they live in a convent

[31:56] no because i am a red-blooded man and there are certain things that i cannot put in front of my [32:02] eyes and stay pure and there are certain things my wife can’t put in front of her eyes and stay [32:06] pure and the goal is that we need to reserve ourselves for one another i should only be [32:17] god and whether that’s enough for us isn’t the issue there’s a covenant we made i know i’m [32:27] hey man ain’t no shame but i’ve had a dad bods and i was like 14 i even have kids when this started [32:33] you know she knew what she was getting into

[32:38] you know my clothes weren’t that baggy she could see [32:42] me friends if jesus is saying the measures that are needed to combat lust are so serious [32:53] as to handicap yourself why are you excusing the things that you know are causing lust in your [33:01] life why would you do that and at the same time say i’m seeking to follow jesus christ with my [33:07] for so many of us our strategy is to see how close we can get to pornography without it being [33:15] pornography it is it’s that simple it is you should be trying to get as far away from it

[33:26] as you possibly can so as to not tempt yourself and others with pornography you need to change [33:35] your desires the attitudes reveal the beauty of the new creation and this is what you need [33:43] to be putting your life around but when jesus deals with things like anger when he deals with [33:47] lust when he deals with divorce the reason that he’s doing it is that he’s telling us these are [33:53] things that will prevent you from living out the ideals of the of the beatitudes and so when we [34:01] continue to give in over and over we are not living the life that god has called us to live

[34:06] look in colossians 3 5 here’s how serious the apostle paul says and it’s the holy spirit jesus [34:11] christ is speaking through paul when he says put to death therefore what is earthly in you sexual [34:16] immorality impurity passion evil desire covetousness with which is idolatry he says to put it to death [34:22] make war on it in roman 6 starting in verse 12 he says let not sin reign in your mortal body to [34:28] obey its passions do not present your members to sin as instruments of unrighteousness but present [34:34] yourselves to god as those who have been brought from death to life and your members to god as

[34:40] instruments for righteousness sin will have no dominion over you since you are not under law [34:45] but under grace for some of you you need to change how often you look at screens and who’s [34:51] around when you’re looking at them means if you’re alone the screen doesn’t get turned on [34:57] you need to understand that you can’t fight this battle alone you can’t and so if you’re married [35:05] you need to employ your spouse as an aid you need to also employ a mature believer as an [35:11] accountability partner of some kind if you’re single you don’t have a spouse but you need to

[35:17] find a mature believer who can aid you through this process the reason i keep saying things like [35:23] is because i’ve seen how two idiots trying to be accountability partners works it just turns into [35:29] a weekly meeting where you just say how much you suck all right that’s that’s what happens but you [35:36] need to employ someone who actually has experience here you need to employ someone who can actually [35:41] be a help rather than a hindrance you must reach out for help you can’t just sit there and say [35:48] nobody’s offering to help me no one knows you need to reach out it is important for you to be

[35:56] armed with the scriptures that is essential it is important for you to grow in your knowledge of [36:02] grace but these are not enough god doesn’t have you operating as someone on an island [36:08] he wants you to surround yourself with biblical community to find a help now i will say guys you [36:14] need a guy girls you need a girl it doesn’t work the other way hey what are you saying all right [36:20] number three what sin destroys god’s grace can restore do you believe that

[36:27] there’s an issue with lust that it will build what i’d call the logic of despair in your life [36:33] it will build this logic where you believe there is no hope you will believe that you are so [36:40] overwhelmed by temptation that you cannot hope to have a bright future you cannot hope to have [36:47] what god has designed for you and here’s what i want you to understand about grace you will wear [36:52] scars as a forgiven person all right the past is always going to be the past what you remember [36:59] will always be what you remember but the power of the holy spirit can restore every aspect of

[37:08] resurrection points us towards it points us to a new creation it points us to a new life so just [37:14] because you are currently struggling with sin i want you to understand that as destructive as [37:19] that sin will be as many scars as that sin will leave on your life jesus has the power to restore [37:28] his design from where you point the great desires of your life lust will destroy relationships and i [37:37] believe that’s what he’s talking about when he gets into the issue of divorce i don’t think it’s [37:42] a mistake i think the context of jesus is talking about here is the path of destruction for your

[37:47] marriage and they began to build an understanding of the laws of deuteronomy where they could just [37:54] write a certificate of divorce because the outlet for their lust wasn’t pleasing them anymore and [38:01] they needed a new one but know what jesus says i think he turns it on its head he says that it [38:07] is not you who are getting tired of your spouse but maybe your spouse should be getting tired of [38:12] you and it is for the cause of sexual immorality that divorce can happen i think he was looking [38:18] to the spouse who was being sinned against because of lust and saying maybe you need to move on

[38:25] because lust destroys relationships and he brings it back and he says anyone who marries [38:32] that woman will be guilty of adultery he’s dealing with the issue of what lust will cost people [38:40] but here’s the hope second corinthian 7 [38:44] he looks to the church at corinth which was a church that had all types of issues [38:49] read first corinthians and you’ll learn some lessons even if i made you grieve with my letter [38:56] the apostle writes he says i don’t regret it i don’t i don’t regret making you grieve why

[39:01] because it produced salvation he says i did regret it i see that the letter grieved you though [39:06] only for a while why only for a while because they repented he says as it is i rejoice not [39:12] because you were grieved but because you were grieved into repenting grief is good if it leads [39:20] to new life he said you felt a guilt excuse me a godly grief so that you suffered no loss through [39:28] verse 10 for godly grief produces repentance that leads to salvation without regret [39:32] whereas worldly grief produces death wow worldly sorrow happens when you feel the sting of sin

[39:42] but still cherish a selfish love of sin in your heart see i know the story for so many of you [39:53] you think you’re the only one but you aren’t every time you give into temptation it devastates you

[40:01] every time you know it destroys you and you say not again

[40:09] but then you say but i can’t get it right yet you’re experiencing sorrow [40:15] you’re experiencing sorrow worldly sorrow and i’ll tell you it’s going to kill you [40:21] you’re just going to stay sorry you’re going to be sorry then you’re going to be sorry then [40:25] you’re going to be sorry then you’re going to be sorry but godly sorrow marks the change [40:31] from sinful self-centeredness in viewing pornography seeking lustful outlets for your desires [40:37] and to replace them with holy pursuits for your desires see godly sorrow seeks to get it right

[40:50] there’s grief but there’s real repentance there’s real confession there is a willingness to be [40:59] embarrassed there is a willingness to get it right there’s an understanding of what john owen [41:08] the great puritan said when he said be killing sin or sin will be killing you godly sorrow [41:17] gives you grace more and more grace to fight the power of sin but in fighting the power of sin you [41:26] will never receive a license to continue in sin it’s not going to happen friends restoration [41:35] is always about transformation it’s always about life change but you have to want it that is about

[41:41] the holy spirit empowering you to want jesus and the life and design that he has for you but so [41:48] long as you invest in sin you won’t have the life that he’s designed for you you will only reap death [41:53] but when you trust in jesus there is always hope to restore your future to live by god’s design [42:05] always trust jesus christ and you can have victory over lust and all other sins why not because i [42:14] promise it but because jesus promises it your marriage will be healthier your life will be [42:21] better and you will begin to follow jesus in fresh ways every week we reflect on the lord’s supper

[42:32] this is why we can have freedom from sin god’s design is never easy i hope you never hear me [42:40] advocating that i think it’s easy it’s not god’s design is difficult because it requires a [42:46] realignment of your life it requires a realignment of everything about you [42:51] but the reason you can do that is because jesus’s body was broken that’s what the bread [42:56] represents his blood was shed that’s what the cup represents and he gave his life over to pay the [43:03] penalty for your sin and for this morning i want you to understand that for the sin of lust he took

[43:10] the penalty he died for your lust so that you could be forgiven and so that you could be [43:20] restored if you’re in here and you’re struggling keep struggling keep struggling if you’re in here [43:29] and you say i don’t know the grace of jesus christ all i know is despair friend if you will [43:34] confess your sin to your savior he will save you he will redeem you today right here right now [43:45] but if that’s you when everyone else is coming for communion i’m gonna ask you to step out into [43:49] the foyer where somebody can pray for you or somebody can explain the gospel to you answer

[43:54] any questions that you might have but if you are in here and you’re a follower of jesus christ [44:01] friends these tables in the front and the back are open for you [44:05] come celebrate the death of our king and proclaim freedom in god’s design

[44:30] you