Reconciliation.

Steve Gentry

[0:00] In Jesus’ name, Amen. [0:03] All right, go ahead and have a seat. Welcome to Village Church. If this is your first time here, [0:08] my name’s Steve and it’s a privilege to be able to share the word of God with you this morning. [0:13] If you have your Bibles, go ahead and open them to Genesis chapter 33. We’re going to be covering [0:17] the first 11 verses of Genesis 33 today. To kind of give you a little bit of review, if you weren’t [0:24] here with us last week, last week we covered what is really one of the most unique encounters with

[0:31] God that’s recorded in all of the scriptures. We talked about Jacob experiencing God in a way [0:37] that changed everything in his life. Jacob was humbled, he was broken, and he experienced the [0:44] blessing of God in the most powerful way possible. His life was quite literally redefined by that [0:53] moment of experiencing God on the brink of going back to his homeland. But you know, whenever we [1:00] experience God in a fresh way, whenever his presence is thick and it is undeniable in our [1:07] lives, it is because he’s always preparing you to trust him in a big way. He’s preparing you to

[1:15] trust him for something that he is about to take you through. And this was especially true for [1:20] Jacob in his experience with God. You know, one thing that seems to be kind of a common truth [1:26] among all people is that forgiveness is a tough issue. It hits a nerve with people. And the reason [1:33] for that is because every single one of us deals with the need to either forgive or the need to be [1:40] forgiven at some point in our lives, and it is many, many times in our lives for most people. [1:47] And it is the reconciliation though of a broken relationship that God has made us whole in himself

[1:55] because the gospel is all about forgiveness. It’s first about the forgiveness of a vertical [2:01] relationship between us and God. Then it is about the horizontal relationships in our life [2:07] as we have a gospel ethic of forgiveness kind of sewn through our lives. And if Christians are [2:15] going to be known for something, quite frankly, we have to be people who are known for forgiveness [2:20] because it is the basis of our lives in Jesus Christ. Sure, there is penalty. Sure, there is [2:30] confession. There is repentance. But the beauty is always seen through the finished product of man

[2:37] reconciled with God. And then we are truly free to forgive other people because reconciliation [2:44] with God brings about this great ethic of reconciliation with people. And that is what [2:49] Genesis chapter 33 is all about. Jacob is going to literally meet Esau again. And Esau though, [2:57] as we are going to see in just a few moments, Esau is actually looking for this meeting with [3:01] his estranged brother. Jacob has been gone for decades. But before Jacob left, he had deceived [3:07] Esau. He had resented Esau. He had manipulated Esau. He had sought to hurt Esau. He had sought

[3:14] to do many harmful things. And quite frankly, he was successful in doing many hurtful things [3:20] to his brother Esau. And so because of that, a lot of what we are going to talk about today is going [3:26] to be from the perspective of the person who is in need of forgiveness. It is going to be from the [3:33] perspective of what it means to actually seek and what it means to desire to receive forgiveness [3:40] when you have wronged someone. But let us not mistake that there is also another perspective [3:45] in this narrative. And it is the perspective of Esau. Someone that needs to forgive. Someone who

[3:51] needs to give forgiveness into the life of another person. But it is the fruit of forgiveness that [3:59] changes the way that we live. And so if you have received forgiveness through Jesus Christ, [4:07] understand that forgiveness is something that is going to have to be a part of your life, [4:11] whether you like it or not. Because to refuse to seek forgiveness and to refuse to give [4:18] forgiveness is antithetical to the gospel and it is quite literally a denial of what God is seeking [4:26] to give into your life. But the type of forgiveness that God wants to define our steps by

[4:33] is not up for debate. Just like we saw last week that experiencing the presence of God is not [4:40] something that is subjective, it is something that is objective. It is something that God brings. It [4:44] is not something that I bring. But forgiveness is not up for debate either. You do not get to define [4:50] terms upon which you seek forgiveness and upon which you get forgiveness. Instead, [4:56] it is something that God has defined in our trying and in our errors of trying to redefine [5:02] what forgiveness is going to look like for us. We bring ourselves all types of trouble. We bring

[5:07] ourselves all types of heartache and we cause trouble and heartache as well. You see the gospel [5:13] is applied to our relationships so that we can seek forgiveness when necessary and so that we [5:20] can grant forgiveness when necessary. But it is always a forgiveness that is not rooted in us, [5:26] but rather it is a forgiveness that is rooted in who Jesus is and what Jesus has already [5:34] accomplished for us. I want you to look in Genesis 33 starting in verse 1. Here is what Moses [5:41] has recorded. It says, And Jacob lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold Esau was coming.

[5:51] And so Jacob, they do not know how much time has taken place. The scripture does not record [5:56] the experience that he had with God to the time where he looks up and sees Esau. It does not [6:02] record that, but it looks like it was soon thereafter because it speaks almost in immediate [6:08] action here. And it says, And Esau had four hundred men with him. So he divided the children [6:16] among Leah and Rachel and the two female servants. And he put the servants with their children in [6:21] front, then Leah with her children, and Rachel and Joseph last of all. He himself went on before them,

[6:28] bowing himself to the ground seven times until he came near to his brother. And so I want us to try [6:34] to picture what’s going on here because here is Jacob going to meet his brother. Then he sees [6:41] Esau with four hundred men with him. And so if you are in Jacob’s shoes in your mind, [6:47] you are thinking my brother hates me and deservedly so. And remember how does Jacob [6:55] describe in his younger life a tent dweller. In other words, he sat a lot. How is his brother [7:01] recorded? A man of the field. He is a warrior. He’s a hunter. He is tough. And so Jacob sees

[7:09] this procession coming towards him and he’s like, Well, I’m going to be at Esau’s mercy. [7:13] So he kind of strategizes and he puts his family in a certain order. Servants, then his one wife, [7:21] then his other wife, and last of all, his favorite, which is Joseph. We kind of going to get into that [7:25] in a couple of weeks. Joseph’s favorite. So he’s like, What is he preparing for? Quite frankly, [7:29] I think Jacob’s preparing to die. I think he’s having a moment of struggle here in the story. [7:35] But note one difference in the way that Jacob has dealt with things in the past to the way that he’s

[7:41] dealing with things now. Jacob deals with this issue by going to the front of the line. That’s [7:48] an attitude shift for Jacob because Jacob has spent his entire life avoiding harm. Jacob has [7:55] been trying to manipulate situations, trying to devise a way in which he could get out of facing [8:02] things head on, a way in which he could get out of being fully dependent on a move of God on his [8:09] behalf. But right here, Jacob shows, I just experienced a great move of God. I’ve got this [8:15] faith. I’m going to live by my faith. I’m going to be strategic in the way that my family is because

[8:21] Esau’s tough, but I’m going out front. I’m going to face the head on, bows seven times, [8:26] takes the posture of needing forgiveness. But then note verse four,

[8:33] but Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him. [8:41] And they wept. Pray with me. Father, you are good.

[8:50] Lord, we are so thankful for the reconciliation that you’ve given us through the gospel of Jesus [8:55] Christ. Lord, my prayer today is that you would help us to be a people who are defined by that [9:02] forgiveness, who are defined by our relationship with you. Lord, I pray this morning that you would [9:08] help us to be a people who forgive and that you would help us to be a people. That when we wrong, [9:16] we admit it and we seek forgiveness from others. And when it is needed, that we would give it to [9:24] others as well. Be merciful to me as a sinner. In the name of Christ, I pray. Amen. I want us to

[9:31] notice number one, God is able to bring about reconciliation. God is able to bring about [9:39] reconciliation. It has been by any standard over three decades since Jacob and Esau have seen one [9:47] another at this point in the narrative. And so Jacob has no idea how Esau is going to react. [9:55] The last time he saw Esau, Esau was holding quite a grudge. Esau was not happy. And so when Jacob [10:02] believes all that he has to go on is I’m going back to home, I’m going back to somewhere where [10:08] someone’s going to have something against me worthy of physical pain, worthy of putting a hurt on me.

[10:17] But note the work that God had done on Jacob’s behalf without Jacob even being there. [10:24] Because the unexpected in Jacob’s eyes has to happen when the reaction of Esau to the sight [10:31] of his brother was not to pull out a weapon and slay him, was not to say how dare you come back home [10:39] after the way you treated me. His response was brother, welcome home. It says he embraced him. [10:46] It says he wept with him. He was so glad to see his brother after so many years of separation. [10:56] You see, Jacob’s actions were not necessarily out of a trust in God when he begins to reorganize his family.

[11:05] It wasn’t even necessarily a thing of trust in God when he goes. It was a thing of trust in God [11:10] when you begin to see Jacob bow because he was taking the posture of someone being humiliated. [11:18] He was taking the posture of someone who for the first time in his life admitted, [11:25] I need something from someone else. I’m not going to be self-sufficient. I’m not going to [11:31] walk around as if I’m the superior person here. I wronged Esau and I need Esau’s forgiveness. [11:38] And that’s why he bowed seven times. That was the act of faith. Because make no mistake,

[11:48] Jacob had done great wrong. Yes, he was chosen by God for the nation of Israel to be birthed out of [11:56] him, for his bloodline to be the people of God. But he had not acted in a way that showed that he [12:04] trusted that provision that God was going to give him. He acted in a way that was contrary [12:11] to someone depending on a move from God. From an early age even to right now, everything that Jacob [12:18] had done in his life had shown and exhibited a great amount of self-sufficiency and independence [12:25] rather than God’s sufficiency and dependence on God. But right here we see it.

[12:34] You know that we offend people so many times in our lives and we do people great harm. But [12:41] sometimes it is a sinful thing when we act as though it’s their problem and not ours. [12:48] That they need to get over what we’ve done. I don’t owe that person anything. You know what [12:54] that reeks of? That reeks of self-sufficiency. That reeks of an attitude of superiority. [13:01] But it also reeks of an attitude of fear. You know when you’ve offended someone? I mean when [13:08] you’ve truly done something to wrong someone else and you refuse to get it right, it is because

[13:16] you are living in fear of being found out. You are living in a fear that you don’t want to [13:28] lose reputation. You will lose that thing that you think you have going on where everybody [13:34] thinks, oh everything is going good with him. He doesn’t do anything wrong. We know the truth. [13:38] You’re not perfect. But you don’t want to admit that to yourself. And so what Jacob had dealt [13:43] with for so long was actually fear of man. That’s why his relationships were always broken. That’s [13:51] why he was leaving a trail of brokenness behind him because he had a fear of man. If it’s one

[13:56] thing you need to understand is that fear is cancer to the soul. Fear is destructive to your [14:04] life. But Jacob going out to meet his brother and to seek reconciliation showed Jacob’s reaction [14:15] to the experience that he had had with God. That he did not fear man anywhere near the extent that [14:23] he feared not having his life right with the Lord, not exhibiting faith in God to repair. [14:29] And he was willing to pay whatever cost it took at that point in his life. Jacob was truly seeking [14:34] reconciliation with Esau. Jacob had finally come to a point where he trusted God more than he feared

[14:42] man. You think about it. What is it that prevents you from seeking reconciliation when you know that [14:48] you’ve wronged someone? Because all of us at some point or another, maybe right now you’re going [14:53] through it, that you are guilty of this very thing. I think you avoid this in two ways and [14:59] for two reasons. First, you fear the reaction of the person that you’ve offended. You fear the [15:05] reaction of the person that you’ve offended. Or what if they don’t forgive me? Or what if their [15:11] response is to hurt me back? Or what if they seek vengeance on me? Or what if they don’t know it was

[15:18] me? Should I out myself? Should I admit that it was me? What if? What does that wreak of? Fear. [15:26] Fear. But there’s something else. You fear the consequences of admitting fault. You see, [15:34] admitting fault is difficult. We would rather come up with reasons why we were justified [15:41] by our actions or our inactions rather than admitting that we actually have faults. [15:48] The very thing that gains you the righteousness of Christ, admitting that you are a sinner in need [15:54] of a Savior, is the very thing that you refuse to do with other people because it is extremely

[16:01] difficult. So you come up with reasons. You come up with reasons why our sin is the exception to [16:07] rule. You come up with reasons why you were justified in your actions. You come up with [16:14] reasons why the offended party is taking things too seriously. You come up with reasons why they [16:20] just need to get over it and move on. And this is the reason that you don’t seek reconciliation [16:27] with people. But every single one of those ethics that you apply as one of those reasons is an [16:33] anti-gospel ethic. None of them show any faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ. We would rather

[16:45] fear the other person or fear being found in fault and believe our denial hides us from taking any [16:54] real blame. But what you need to understand is repentance puts the responsibility square on your [17:03] shoulders. I mean when you think about it, we can’t even come before the presence of God without [17:10] repentance. You have to admit your sin. You have to accept the consequences from God. And you have [17:17] to understand that in your relationships that is also the path of faith in God. Because God works [17:24] through forgiveness. If you’re a follower of Jesus Christ, that is the story of your life. You were a

[17:30] sinner in need of forgiveness. That is your biography. You are no more really complicated than [17:37] I know some of y’all think you’re some kind of special little bubble. But you’re not really more [17:41] complicated than that. You are a sinner in need of forgiveness. That’s the story of my life. [17:48] And that doesn’t change in my life either. But the forgiveness of God is amazing. [17:54] Vertically, my relationship with God, it literally means that Jesus has taken my penalty [18:01] and my offense to God. What an amazing grace. What an amazing relief to receive God’s forgiveness.

[18:13] But horizontally in my relationship with other people, it means owning up to my sin and then [18:19] trusting God to work. Same faith. See, I don’t just trust God to work through my repentance [18:27] towards him. I also trust God to work through my repentance towards other people. Because [18:31] I’m a completely dependent person on God. And when I cease to be dependent on the work of God [18:38] in my life in those areas, that is when I fall into the sin of self-sufficiency. And that is [18:47] idolatry. Friend, you have to understand. You have to own your sin and trust God to work.

[18:52] And I promise you, he will. Fear of man shows a lack of trust in God. Fear of man shows a lack [19:02] of trust in God. God always works through forgiveness to show a testimony of the gospel [19:08] of Jesus in forgiveness. If you look in Matthew chapter 5 verses 23 and 24, this is from, you [19:16] know, the Mount. It shows the horizontal effect on vertical relationships. It says, [19:22] so if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something [19:27] against you. And so here is a key takeaway from there. Your relationships with other people,

[19:32] your offense towards other people, affects your relationship with God. He goes on. He says, [19:41] there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother. Then come and offer your gift.

[19:55] But a lot of times when we have offended somebody, we read that wrong. [19:59] And so if somebody is offended by me, they need to come get it right with me. [20:04] I guess if it is that big of a deal, they will come to me.

[20:07] Oh, you know, if I have offended you, you know, if they have offended this guy, I am going to stay [20:12] here in the presence of God because, you know, vertically I am okay even if horizontally I am [20:17] not that bad. No, Jesus does not put the burden on the offended party here. Why would he?

[20:25] That is unjust. That does not even make sense instinctively. Yet it is the ethic that many of [20:31] you take through your life. And Jesus says, if you come before the presence of God with a gift [20:38] for God, he says, do not keep the gift. No, you leave the gift. That is God’s. He says, [20:43] but you better go and you better reconcile your relationships so people have something truly [20:48] against you. You see, once you know there is an offense, it is on you to reconcile. I cannot [20:58] hold anybody accountable for something that they are completely ignorant of, but quite frankly,

[21:02] most of the time we are not. Ignorance is usually not a true defense. Sometimes it is. [21:08] But the key in all of this is to trust God with reconciliation because he is the God of [21:15] reconciliation. There is no greater gospel fruit than the gospel fruit of reconciliation. [21:23] Reconciliation is always possible with two parties that trust Jesus. If both people trust Jesus [21:32] Christ, then reconciliation is possible. It is antithetical to the gospel. If you have two people [21:39] who love Jesus and you think I could never reconcile with that person. I could never

[21:44] reconcile with that person. But this type of need for reconciliation is something that we will carry [21:50] around for years. Jacob carried around for decades. We have cases throughout history [21:56] where people carry it around for generations, never seeking to get things right.

[22:05] Be reconciled because reconciliation with God always leads to reconciliation with others. [22:12] That is a fruit of the gospel of Jesus Christ for followers of Jesus Christ. [22:17] Number two this morning, there is another side to forgiveness. [22:20] As God forgives, so should we. As God forgives, so should we.

[22:27] There is amazing meeting. Verse four is what the entire narrative of Genesis 33 swings on. [22:37] He says Esau ran to his brother. This is not brave heart running. He is not running with [22:44] a sword to chop him asunder. This is the type of running like Jesus. This whole story is reminiscent [22:51] of the parable of the prodigal son. What does the father do? He runs to his son to welcome him home. [22:58] That is what Esau is doing. Esau is running to his brother to welcome him home. Esau is running to [23:04] him to give him the forgiveness that he so desperately needs in his life. He is showing us

[23:10] that if you have received forgiveness from Jesus, then you are like Jesus when you forgive.

[23:20] But too often we let resentment define our lives. Do you know resenting others breeds lies? [23:28] You think about the lives of Jacob and Esau. There is a great deal of resentment that went on [23:32] and it started with Jacob because from a very early age, old tent dweller, he resented his brother. [23:39] It was dad’s favorite. Esau was going out getting dad food and Jacob just watched Food Network. [23:46] That was about as good as it got for him. He resented his brother. He said, [23:52] oh, he’s got dad’s favor. He’s going to get dad’s blessing because he’s just like two seconds older

[23:56] than I am. He’s going to get everything. Oh, I got to hurt him. I resent him so much. I want to take [24:02] everything away from him. And so that was his mission. And he’s never gotten over that. [24:09] He never gotten over that. Resented his brother so much that he began to create scenarios in his [24:17] mind of how meeting with Esau might actually go. You see, resentment leads you to create false [24:25] scenarios. Have you ever had a conversation in your head that never happened but it was so real [24:33] that you’re like, I know that’s exactly how this conversation is going to go.

[24:38] Do you know what that’s called? Resentment. And it breeds false scenarios. And there’s a huge [24:46] spiritual warfare aspect to resentment. You will play conversations in your head based on how you [24:53] think someone will react or how you think things that someone will do or how you think someone’s [25:00] going to act in light of what you’re actually copying to. So much so that you will actually [25:07] talk about it with other people as if they had actually done the thing that you just created in [25:14] your mind. You will even gossip based on things someone hasn’t done but you think they are capable

[25:25] of doing that thing that they haven’t done. So you talk about it as if it’s done.

[25:32] Friend, that’s demonic. You see, Satan uses sin to divide. You believe lies and the source [25:43] is resentment. And friend, you need to trust the gospel and repent of that. [25:50] You need to trust the gospel and repent of your resentment. [25:54] See, Jacob carried around resentment with him for years and it almost led to him missing out on the [26:01] great ability that was going to happen for him to reconcile with his brother if it wasn’t for the [26:13] forgiveness that reveals truth. A few years ago, God used Ephesians 4.32 to change the way that I

[26:21] viewed myself and others. A verse that I’ve read thousands of times in my life. A verse that I [26:27] memorized when I was probably six years old, maybe even younger. But a few years ago, four or five [26:33] years ago, God used this verse in a fresh way in my life. And I love the way the Lord will do that [26:39] with the Bible. It’s a verse you’ve read hundreds of times and the Holy Spirit’s like, [26:43] you’re ready for some real revelation knowledge right now, so here’s something new to get out of [26:47] this text. The Lord was working in my life and I said, be kind one to another, tenderhearted,

[26:55] forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you. I don’t know if you realize this, but sometimes [27:00] pastors catch a lot of criticism. Now, some of it’s founded, most of it’s unfounded. But for a long [27:07] time, I dictated some of how I viewed myself and others by the whims of what someone thought about [27:17] me or what someone thought about a sermon or what someone thought about a way that I reacted to [27:20] something. And I was letting other people define my identity in Christ for me. And so the Lord used [27:29] this text as a pastor to aid me in receiving criticism, in aiding me in reacting to criticism,

[27:36] and in aiding me in not letting people define who I am in Christ, but instead letting Christ define [27:43] me. And you’re like, how did he do that? Because it defined what kindness and forgiveness are to me.

[27:49] Because I think most of us have an awful definition of what it is to be kind and what it is to be [27:55] forgiving because we’re basing it on ourselves. Kindness and forgiveness are subjective to us, [28:02] whatever comes natural. So half of you, kindness is walking around, big grin on your face. Oh, [28:11] it’s so wonderful to see you. Hey, oh, so nice. So good to see you. Oh, just smile all the time. [28:16] And you just say the syrupy sweet platitudes and that’s kindness. I hope not.

[28:25] That’s it. I don’t like smiling. All right. I’ll be honest. It takes too much effort. [28:30] All right. My cheeks are too heavy for it. I ate too much. All right. There’s a lot of fat [28:34] going on in the jowls. And so for me to get them, I’m exhausted. That’s how I like looking like this.

[28:46] You know that, man, I’m almost asleep. Like that’s how relaxed that feels to me. All right. [28:51] So that’s just, that’s just how I am. It’s just some of us, we think kindness is just these niceties [28:56] and platitudes that we give out, but it never really affects who we are. No one needs your [29:03] platitudes. And some of us think kindness is weakness. Be kind, but then you qualify, [29:09] but not too kind. Always look over your shoulder, son. They’re coming after you. So don’t be too kind.

[29:22] And some of us think forgiveness is, well, you know, I never deal with sin. I just sweep it [29:26] under a rug because, you know, it’s okay. Everybody can do whatever. It’s okay. It’s okay. [29:32] Just treat me poorly again and again and again. Never really dealing with your sin. And some of [29:37] you think forgiveness is something that you need to hold over someone’s head as if it’s some kind [29:41] of gun that you have in a holster. I’ll just hold my forgiveness out until I get out of them what I can.

[29:50] See, all of that is wrong. Why? Because God actually defines kindness and forgiveness at the end of the text. [29:59] He says kindness and forgiveness are not something that come naturally to any of us. [30:03] Kindness and forgiveness is not something that comes naturally inside of my heart, [30:07] nor is it something that comes naturally inside of your heart. Just because you smile a lot, [30:10] typically it’s the people that smile the most they have to look out for. They’re going to kill you. [30:15] All right, I’m convinced of that. If you smile all the time, I’m terrified of you.

[30:20] Like, I know there’s going to come a morning where I wake up and you’re stabbing me to death. [30:23] All right, we’re going to edit that part out. But wow, man. All right, Steve at VillageChurch.cc.

[30:35] Forgiveness

[30:38] is something totally different. As God in Christ Jesus has forgiven you. [30:47] So where do you define kindness and forgiveness? You define it by the person and work of Jesus [30:56] Christ. What does it mean to actually be kind to people? Kindness is a fruit of the gospel. [31:06] It is looking at other people and ceasing to see yourself as supreme over any of them. It is [31:16] looking at other people and truly seeing them as a person who is a recipient or needs to be a [31:25] recipient of the same type of forgiveness that God has given and offers continually to me.

[31:35] It means seeing people and truly wanting the best for them, seeing people and truly praying and [31:44] believing and yearning and wanting God to do an amazing work in their lives because I need the [31:54] same thing that you need. It is seeing someone who comes to you for forgiveness and just as Jesus [32:01] Christ forgives at the moment of confession and repentance, I am quick to forgive and reconcile. [32:11] That is gospel centered forgiveness. That is gospel centered kindness. It is something that [32:19] deals with sin. It is something that has an objective root and not something that you are

[32:27] left on your own to have to define by your subjective whims and moods. If you catch me [32:35] some days I am so grumpy, man I will want everybody to go to hell. Don’t act like you are [32:43] better than me. That is not kind. But it is actually saying you know what? My grumpiness [32:54] isn’t gospel centered. Just because I hate the world right now that doesn’t mean I am allowed [33:01] to hate the world right now. It means defining my moods, defining my responses, defining my emotions, [33:08] defining my feelings, defining my wants, defining my longings and defining my love for others by how

[33:17] Jesus Christ defines it because it is not up to me. It is up to him. That is kindness. That is [33:28] forgiveness. It is something you can look to and say how should I act towards others? I should act [33:34] like Jesus. This is nowhere near as complicated as we actually want it to be because when we [33:43] over complicate it, it becomes easy to get out of. But when you actually deal with people and [33:50] kindness and forgiveness you see God work in amazing ways. I want to give you a little life [33:55] tip right now. Don’t do it over email. Don’t do it on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Bumbler,

[34:06] whatever they are called, don’t do it that way because everyone has more courage behind a keyboard.

[34:14] But you rarely get it right behind a keyboard. Forgiveness and reconciliation are things that [34:22] happen face to face. Confusion and tones and misunderstandings happen when we make it [34:30] impersonal because it is easier to stare into a blank screen than it is to stare into the eyes [34:37] of the person that you have wronged. You need to feel their emotion. You need to feel their [34:46] response. You need to feel what reconciliation is and it doesn’t happen over text message. [34:55] When you actually get face to face and stop trolling, gossiping, and maligning,

[35:03] that is where truth is found. That is where life is lived and that is where relationships are formed. [35:14] Note the way Jesus describes it in Luke chapter 17 verses 3-4. Here is what he says, [35:20] pay attention to yourselves. I love it when Jesus says stuff like that because that is the last [35:27] thing most of us do. I pay attention to what a lot of other people do. Jesus is saying, [35:32] well maybe you would get your life a little right if you would look at yourself a little more. [35:36] But then he goes on, if your brother sins rebuke him.

[35:40] Oof. If somebody has wronged you, guess what? Guess what he saw. You can’t sweep it under the rug. [35:48] It has got to be dealt with. But if you are the offender, realize what rebuke actually looks [35:54] like. Rebuke actually looks like somebody looking you in the face and saying you are a real jerk.

[35:59] That is rebuke. And if he repents, oof, forgive him.

[36:08] If he sins against you seven times in a day, guess what? Turns to you seven more times saying, [36:13] I repent, you must forgive him. Another recording where Jesus says, when somebody asks him how many [36:18] times do I forgive my brothers? Seventy times seven. See Jesus throws out these numbers. [36:21] Because these aren’t literal things. Like on the eighth time you don’t say, bam, right in your face [36:26] I am not going to forgive you. Ha ha. No. Jesus is saying, Jesus is giving us kind of an unrealistic [36:33] thought where he is saying, however oft they repent, you forgive. How oft have I offended the

[36:40] Lord of the universe and he has forgiven me? We are to forgive. Forgiveness happens face to face. [36:48] That is the discussion. If wrong happened, rebuke. The Lord is a God of justice. Just like with Jesus, [36:56] stuff can’t be swept under the rug. It needs to be dealt with. The cross truly deals with sin. [37:02] But when forgiveness needs to be laid down, lay it down every single time. Guess what? [37:09] Christians sin. That’s why we need Jesus. But there is another side to that. Christians forgive.

[37:21] Friend, I will tell you, if you refuse to forgive people when they repent, [37:26] you are no more unlike Christ than you are in that moment.

[37:34] You can be certain you have forgiven someone when you truly want what is best for them. [37:42] This moment happens in every single one of our lives. Someone wrongs us. How do you react to [37:47] that? You don’t react pious. None of us do. We want to crush them. You have wronged me. I want to [38:00] off on the road. You’re thinking, how can I get them fired from their job? How can I get their [38:04] house foreclosed on? How can I get them a terminal illness? Like, good night. I think that you’re [38:11] seeking some big penalties here for a very small offense. But you react, I want vengeance.

[38:19] And so long as that is even a subconscious reality, you have not forgiven a person.

[38:31] Forgiveness happens when you truly with your heart. You can pray, Lord, I pray that you would [38:39] bless them greatly. I pray that you would work in amazing ways in their life so that they can [38:48] bring you glory and take joy out of it. And you do that and it is not begrudging. It’s not, [38:55] Lord, I bless them. I pray that you would bless them because I know that I have to.

[39:03] All right. When you do that, that’s not forgiveness. All right. You’re going through [39:06] the motions. It’s when in your heart you truly want what is best for them. And that is an [39:11] experience that is joyous. This experience is joyous because that’s the repentance of knowing [39:18] what it is to be forgiven. Therefore, I want to know what it is to truly forgive someone else. [39:23] When you actually begin to think about the way that someone has offended you and you begin to [39:29] do what is a great tool in every single one of our lives, you empathize. And this is on small

[39:35] things, but it can also be on huge things that hurt greatly. And you think to yourself, man, [39:39] they have hurt me. They have wounded me to my core. What pain they must have to respond [39:48] that way with their lives. What type of pain is being shown through the way others lash out at [39:56] people. When you can actually empathize and think what is the deep seated wound in their soul that [40:02] is causing them to act that way. That is when you know you’re moving towards forgiveness.

[40:08] That is when you know you’re actually dealing with sin in a Christ-centered way. When you [40:13] want them to take their sin to the cross so they can be healed of their hurt.

[40:21] The old adage goes that when you refuse to forgive someone, [40:27] you haven’t created a prison for them, but rather for yourself.

[40:32] I know it’s cliche, but as I get older, I find that that is one of the most true statements [40:38] about forgiveness that I could ever see. Look at what happens in verse five.

[40:48] It says Esau lifts up his eyes. He saw the women and children. He said, who are these with you? [40:53] Jacob said, the children whom God has graciously given your servant. Then the servants drew near. [40:58] They and their children, they bowed down. Leah likewise and her children drew near, bowed down. [41:03] And last Joseph and Rachel drew near and they bowed down. And Esau said, what do you mean by all [41:08] company that I met? Jacob answered to find favor in the sight of my Lord. But Esau said, [41:15] I have enough, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself.

[41:20] If you look through what’s actually happening in that part of the story, [41:24] Jacob is showing the strategy that he devised. Remember, he’s still a little bit of a weasel. [41:29] All right. And so Jacob goes and he’s got all these servants up here and Esau’s like, [41:34] what’s going on, man? Jacob says, well, you know, I was going to give all this to you if you wanted [41:42] it. If you killed me. And he saw his response is this amazing thing because Jacob’s looking [41:50] at Esau saying, I know Esau has resented me for years. I know Esau has been waiting for me to

[41:57] come back so that he can hurt me. I know Esau’s hatred for me has been eating him up inside for [42:05] years. See the resentment brewing. You see the false scenarios brewing so much so that Jacob’s [42:11] walking forward and he’s like, I’m going to give everything that I have to Esau so that he’ll [42:15] forgive me. And Esau looks at him and says, dude, I’ve got my own stuff. You’re enough. [42:22] I’ve got my brother back. Who was in prison? Not Esau. Esau was living a good life back home. [42:32] I mean, Esau’s bringing 400 warriors with him. I think he’s got a big house.

[42:38] I mean, Esau has done something with his life. Esau has gained a few things in his life. And [42:43] Jacob’s been over there fretting. Oh, poor Esau. It’s been eating him up inside. And Esau’s just [42:48] kicking back. He’s like, man, when’s bro coming home? I miss Jacob. I miss that little tent dweller.

[42:59] Esau was never in the prison. It was Jacob that was in the prison of resentment. [43:05] You see, number three this morning, grace is the gift of God and not the work of man. [43:10] What was Jacob ultimately trying to do? He was trying to bribe his brother. [43:16] He was trying to earn his way out with all of these things. That’s one of my favorite [43:20] aspects of the story because it’s so much of what we do. One of the lies that we believe about [43:28] forgiveness shows its ugly head when we try to win someone’s favor through bribery. Whether it

[43:34] is material, whether it is service oriented, whether it is owing a favor or wanting them to [43:41] your influence, we exhibit a lack of trust in the gospel the way we try to bribe our way back into [43:51] someone’s life rather than depending on a work of God to do it for us. Jacob shows his imperfection [44:01] again when he tries to pay his brother off. Stop bargaining your way through life and live like you [44:11] believe the gospel of Jesus Christ. It’s the same self-sufficient sin that plagues us in other areas. [44:21] We devise plans where people will have to forgive us rather than simply trusting the grace of God

[44:28] to do work in our lives. I get Jacob’s fear. It makes sense, but fear needs to stop leading our [44:40] lives and we need to be people that boldly rely on truth and grace to dictate our lives. [44:48] Because of the grace of God, we can be people that boldly admit fault even if it costs us something. [44:57] Why? Because we don’t lose anything where God is concerned, even if we lose our reputation on this [45:06] earth. Trying to manipulate your way back into someone’s life shows a lack of trust in God and [45:13] in his grace. But the gospel of Jesus builds a life of graciousness. It takes years, a whole lifetime

[45:22] even. The gospel should have you on a pathway where you become more gracious than you do anything [45:28] else. You see, Ephesians 4.32, kindness and forgiveness in light of the gospel of Jesus [45:35] Christ and what God has done to forgive us. We believe the lie that that will make us weak. [45:41] What a lie. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you strong. It makes you as strong as Jesus Christ. [45:50] We show this even generationally, oftentimes with the way that we raise our children. [45:55] Rather than raising children to be kind like Jesus, we are tempted to raise them to be brutal

[46:02] because this is a dog eat dog world.

[46:06] That is not the gospel. The gospel raises us to teach kindness and forgiveness no matter what it [46:14] costs us in this world because even if it costs us the world, we gain Jesus and he is always better.

[46:23] Friend, when I seek reconciliation or when I respond with forgiveness [46:29] when someone else seeks it, that is when I know the Holy Spirit is working through me [46:35] and what a joy it is to see him do his work. You see, I am experiencing grace in that moment [46:41] for my sin as well. As God in Christ Jesus has forgiven me is a real ethic to take through life [46:52] and it shows real strength to live like that. This narrative shows the redemption of Jacob [47:01] but it also shows the redemption of Esau. This moment of reconciliation foreshadows the real life

[47:07] gospel ethic that every single one of us need to carry with us every single day in our lives. [47:17] We cannot hope to build a gospel centered community without it.

[47:23] As a friend, I ask you a few questions. First, have you experienced the forgiveness of Jesus Christ?

[47:33] And secondly to that, do you forgive?

[47:39] Do you need to be forgiven?

[47:44] Face to face is where that happens and that will change everything for everyone.

[47:51] As the band comes up, forgiveness is this amazing issue that I think sometimes we avoid because [47:58] so many of us need to be forgiven by others and so many of us need to forgive others

[48:04] but there is no more gospel centered issue because forgiveness is the foundation of what [48:12] the gospel is built on from our perspective. It is a need we have from God and then he changes [48:18] our lives and he makes us people who can give it to others and people who can admit we need it from [48:25] others. If you are in here and you are thinking to yourself, that type of forgiveness is something [48:31] I have never experienced in my life. I have never experienced the forgiveness of Jesus to the level [48:37] that you are talking about today. I want you to understand today that in this moment you can

[48:43] receive that forgiveness and it will last for eternity. Jesus wants to forgive you of your sins. [48:51] How do I know he wants to forgive you of your sins? Because he took the steps. [48:55] He came to this earth and suffered on a sinner’s cross so that you would not have to bear the wrath [49:02] of God for your sin. And when you confess your sins to Christ, when you turn from them to trust [49:10] him, he will give you forgiveness and then he will help you build a life of forgiveness.

[49:16] If that is you in just a few moments when others are partaking in communion, I am going to ask you [49:25] in here, you know the forgiveness of Jesus Christ, but you are holding on to resentment.

[49:31] You are refusing to admit fault to someone that you have offended. Or maybe someone has sought [49:38] reconciliation with you and you have refused to forgive them because you want to hold on to that [49:43] pain. You want to hold on to that resentment. I beg you, be freed. Trust the gospel of Jesus Christ. [49:54] Let him begin to heal the wounds of the pain that people have caused you. Forgive others. [50:02] Seek the forgiveness of others.

[50:08] The bread on the plates represent the broken body of Jesus. The cup represents his shed blood. [50:13] See, this is important because when we eat and drink, we say by eating and drinking, [50:17] Christ is in my life. Christ is in me. And if we say that, we must live that.

[50:26] Part of living that is living as forgiveness. Because we know how much we have been forgiven of. [50:32] Therefore, we know how much we can forgive others.

[50:36] If you are a follower of Jesus, when you are ready, to the front or the back, [50:40] come, eat, drink, proclaim the death of Christ and then go. Be forgiven and forgive.