Fatherhood Is Great.

Steve Gentry

[0:07] We’ll go ahead and have a seat. [0:08] Welcome to Village Church. [0:10] If this is your first time here, my name’s Steve, one of the pastors here at Village [0:13] Church. [0:13] And as always, I’m thankful and grateful to see each and every one of you. [0:17] If you have a Bible, go ahead and open it to 1 Corinthians, chapter 16.

[0:22] That’s where we will be this morning. [0:25] Praying that the rain stops at some point. [0:27] I don’t know about you, but I’ve had just about enough of it. [0:30] And if you like this rain, we ask that you would move. [0:35] I don’t know, maybe it’s your fault. [0:37] But in this series, we’ve been talking about the family.

[0:44] And isn’t it funny, though, before I get into that, that you’ve known Gordon for so [0:48] many years and you didn’t know either?

[0:53] That was a situation I found myself in where I’m like, what? [1:00] Why haven’t you already? [1:03] I a lot of unanswered questions. [1:05] And so if you know Gordon like I know Gordon harass him after the service, he’ll appreciate [1:11] it. [1:12] But we’ve been talking about family for the past few weeks.

[1:15] Man, if you’ve got a gift, use it for the Lord. [1:19] Okay, that’s my point. [1:20] But we’ve been talking about family. [1:23] And so we started a couple of weeks ago just kind of giving an overview for for what family [1:27] is, God’s vision for it, the fact that it is good. [1:31] It is what we were designed to pursue with our lives.

[1:36] It is God’s way of flourishing the world around us. [1:40] We’ve talked about parenthood. [1:43] We talked last week about marriage and all of the beauty and wonder. [1:46] And so the thread that I hope that you’re receiving throughout this series is that [1:51] God gives us these things as good gifts to enjoy and that we should order our lives [1:59] around pursuing these things rather than pursuing other things, because it requires great sacrifice

[2:06] to build a family for the Lord. [2:09] But that sacrifice always brings joy every single time. [2:14] If you will pursue the Lord in doing those things. [2:17] And when it doesn’t give us that type of joy, then the Lord’s design isn’t the problem. [2:22] And it’s us. [2:24] We are the problem every single time.

[2:26] We are not ordering our lives in the way that God desires for us to order our lives. [2:32] And so this morning, I want to begin to get a little more specific and talk about the [2:38] different distinctive roles that we play in family. [2:42] And so this week, I want to talk about fatherhood. [2:44] Next week, I want to talk about motherhood. [2:46] And there’s no way I’m going to talk about both of those things without offending half

[2:51] of you in some way, shape or form. [2:53] And if you’re new here, that’s normal. [2:56] OK, so so don’t think that it’s you. [2:59] I mean, it is, but it’s me. [3:03] But I’m not the problem. [3:04] That’s what I mean by that.

[3:07] You are. [3:08] And so you need to change as I change. [3:10] And my bluntness might be a problem, but as I tease it out, when you still disagree with [3:15] me.

[3:17] And so remember that in all things, there is grace to be had. [3:23] But grace takes us where we are. [3:26] But it always takes us somewhere new that we should be. [3:30] Grace does not excuse us to continue the pattern of not pursuing God’s design. [3:39] Grace frees us from our sin so that we can order our lives under the power of God to [3:46] pursue his design.

[3:48] And so I’m going to glory in manhood today, and that’s going to be an issue for some of [3:55] you. And that’s OK. [3:57] I want you to understand that I know that we’re masculinity, fatherhood, husbandry. [4:03] I don’t know if that’s the way you’re supposed to say it, but it’s the way I like to say [4:06] it. So I say it that way. [4:09] And when it comes to those things, I’m going to glory in them.

[4:14] But I know some of you have baggage. [4:16] I know some of you had terrible fathers. [4:17] I know some of you have had terrible husbands, and that’s why they’re not with you right [4:21] now. And and so I understand the baggage that you might bring into it. [4:26] And I don’t want you to deny that baggage. [4:29] What I want you to understand is that what I’m presenting to you is very much God’s ideal.

[4:35] And I know some of you have not dealt with ideals in your life. [4:40] You have dealt with perversions of the ideal. [4:43] And so what I want to do is glory in the way that God designed us to be. [4:48] And I want to provoke the men among us to pursue glory. [4:53] I want them to pursue good manhood. [4:55] And so I want to start with a couple of statements that might bother some of you.

[4:59] And I’m halfway doing it on purpose and I’m halfway trying to teach you something by [5:03] doing it. OK. [5:05] Being a man is good. [5:10] I mean, it’s really good. [5:12] I have only ever been a man.

[5:17] That’s all I’ve ever been. [5:19] And I’ve loved every minute of it. [5:21] And I love it. And I’m unapologetic for it because I am who God designed me to be. [5:27] And the fact that we respond by laughing a little bit at a statement like that tells [5:33] us much of our current cultural moment, because I’m going to make the same [5:38] statement next week and no one’s going to laugh.

[5:41] Not about myself, but about women. [5:44] I’m going to say being a woman is good. [5:46] And that’s so brave. [5:50] He’s so brave for saying that.

[5:54] No, that it’s not bravery. [5:56] It’s never brave to just go along with whatever culture says at any moment. [6:01] And so we’re in a cultural moment where womanhood and femininity are being championed. [6:07] Even to pervert it and turn masculinity into femininity. [6:12] And there’s nothing brave to celebrate that there’s something wicked at celebrating an [6:16] aspect of that.

[6:18] But just because the culture is bemoaning the existence of masculinity at this present [6:23] time, that does not change anything about God’s design. [6:26] And I will tell you, being a man is great. [6:28] Being masculine is wonderful. [6:31] Pursuing being a manlier man tomorrow than I am today is what God has designed me to [6:37] be. And if you are in here and you are a man, that is what God has designed you to be.

[6:42] So that’s number one, poking the bear. [6:44] Number two of poking the bear. [6:47] There’s no such thing as toxic masculinity.

[6:51] Doesn’t exist. [6:52] I want you to understand that it’s not a thing. [6:54] All right. And here’s what I mean by that. [6:57] There is such a thing as abuse. [6:59] There is such a thing as wickedness. [7:01] There is such a thing as evil and there is such a thing as sin.

[7:06] But those are not masculine. [7:08] When you affix. [7:11] The term toxic before masculinity, it cancels out the term masculinity. [7:17] It’s toxic, but it’s not masculine because masculinity in its real form is never toxic. [7:24] It is good. It is godly. [7:27] It is wonderful.

[7:29] And at fighting, abuse is a good thing until we begin to seek to destroy the very thing [7:42] that would prevent that.

[7:45] Masculinity prevents abuse. [7:46] It doesn’t cause it. [7:48] Masculinity prevents wickedness. [7:50] Masculinity prevents evil and it prevents sin. [7:52] And so if you have endured any of those things, you didn’t do or something toxic, but you [7:58] did not endure masculinity.

[7:59] You endured the opposite of it. [8:01] And so I am going to glory in masculinity today and I’m going to champion it and tell [8:06] all of the men to pursue it more than they’ve ever pursued it in their lives. [8:11] And what you’ve experienced in your life never sets the standard. [8:17] What sets the standard is God’s design. [8:21] What sets the standard is always God’s word.

[8:25] And so when we allow experience to shape where we start from, we start from a lack of [8:35] truth, not an abundance of it. [8:37] And so I want us to understand what being a man is so that our men can be healthier [8:44] than they currently are or so they can be better tomorrow than they are today, which [8:49] is always my goal, because God has designed us to always seek to be better tomorrow than [8:53] we are today.

[8:55] Number one, this morning, fatherhood is built on masculinity. [8:59] Fatherhood is built on masculinity. [9:01] Now, our main text today is First Corinthians 16 13. [9:04] But before I get to that, I want to lay some groundwork and I want to explain how we get [9:10] to First Corinthians 16, because we get there from Genesis one and two. [9:15] In Genesis one, twenty seven, God is creating man and woman, and it’s not arbitrary.

[9:21] He says this. [9:22] So God created man in his own image. [9:24] In the image of God, he created him, male and female. [9:27] He created them. [9:29] And here’s what I want you to understand by the way that the language works out. [9:34] God is here just giving us an overview of what he teases out in Genesis chapter two,

[9:40] and he lays a very good distinction that we usually just pass over and don’t think about [9:45] He is not saying I have created humans with no distinction.

[9:53] No, he creates humanity, says they bear my image. [9:58] And then he lays out two distinctives, male and female. [10:05] He created them. [10:08] And so he begins with the glory, begins with the honor, begins with the image, and then [10:14] goes on to lay out within that image. [10:18] There are two distinctives.

[10:19] There is man and there is woman. [10:22] And that is a celebration of the distinctiveness of male and female. [10:28] And so in that we need to form a worldview for male and female from God’s perspective. [10:35] That’s how we need to view it, that there are two types of human beings. [10:41] There’s male and there’s female. [10:42] Male and female are not the polar ends of a wide spectrum of possibility and potential.

[10:50] There’s no fluidity between those two genders. [10:54] There is male and there is female. [10:57] And those are the only options that God gives us under the sun. [11:01] Nor do we have the freedom to vacillate between the two of them. [11:05] Adam was created distinctly male. [11:09] Eve out of Adam was created distinctly female.

[11:15] And they did not pass between the two genders freely. [11:20] No, they were assigned by God a reality and designed to live within. [11:26] And that is what must be gloried. [11:28] Genesis two furthers that distinction. [11:32] And I just want to use verse 24 in Genesis 224. [11:36] He says, therefore.

[11:37] Now, remember, we talked about this in the family series, but I want to remind you [11:41] Genesis chapter two is largely a commentary on Genesis one, 26 through 28. [11:48] And so in completing that he looks and he says, therefore a man shall leave his father [11:53] and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. [11:59] There’s some distinctions in there. [12:02] This is how male and female are lived out.

[12:05] He gives Adam a different role than Eve, but he goes past that [12:10] because this isn’t just about Adam, because Adam didn’t have a mommy and daddy to leave.

[12:18] He says, from here on out, here’s the design. [12:21] The man leaves his father and mother and has fidelity, [12:25] which is what it means to hold fast to his lifelong faithfulness to his wife. [12:31] Now, we could simplify this, but it’s more than this. [12:36] So the simplest idea that this lays forward to us on a spectrum [12:40] is that it is the guy that should pursue the woman.

[12:46] All right. The man should ask the woman on the date. [12:48] The man should ask the woman to marry him. [12:51] The man is the lead. [12:53] He’s dancing in the lead in this relationship. [12:56] But that’s reductionistic. [12:58] That is not the full idea that he’s giving here.

[13:02] What’s happening is, is that God in this text [13:06] is actually setting up an order of responsibility between the man and the woman. [13:13] He is saying that the ultimate responsibility of pursuit [13:18] and faithfulness goes on to the shoulders of the man, [13:24] that it is the man who takes the responsibility in the relationship [13:29] to create and cultivate what God desires for marriage to be.

[13:36] And so, men, if you are not stewarding your marriage as well, [13:41] you are laying aside God’s design. [13:45] And that is sin. [13:47] You take responsibility for your relationship. [13:51] You are dancing in the lead in a sense. [13:55] All right. And so understand, I’m passing over things quickly right now.

[13:59] I’m there’s no way I’m going to give you a fully or theology of this in 40 minutes. [14:04] Actually, 30 in Genesis. [14:08] We then jump forward to first Corinthians 16. [14:12] All right. Now. [14:15] What God is saying in this is that the responsibility of man [14:19] to lead is a good thing.

[14:22] I just want to sum it up for you. [14:24] That’s why I say it’s good to be a man. [14:27] All right. I love it. [14:28] Just being a guy. All right. [14:31] But in first Corinthians 16, we see what happens when men are not men. [14:37] And first Corinthians 16, we come to a place with a church

[14:41] that we all say there’s no perfect church. [14:44] I mean, if you think you found the perfect church, wait a month. [14:47] All right. Because the flaws will show themselves. [14:50] There’s no perfect church. [14:52] But Corinth was really running for the championship in imperfection. [14:58] I mean, they were doing just about everything that they could find wrong.

[15:03] Wrong from a church government standpoint. [15:06] All right. Nobody was leading well. [15:09] And the people who were supposed to be submitting the leadership [15:12] were just picking and choosing leaders in any which way they could. [15:16] And half the church is like, I follow this guy. [15:18] The other half of church is like, no, I follow this guy.

[15:20] And the other half of the church is like, well, we follow this guy. [15:22] That’s not even here. [15:23] I mean, it was really unhealthy. [15:26] Then it went past church government problems [15:28] to the fact that the church as a whole was bringing in pagan. [15:33] I mean, not just unbelieving practices, but pagan false

[15:37] God rituals and trying to introduce it into the worship time. [15:42] And they were like, hey, you know, that temple to Athena down there, [15:45] they do this really interesting sexual stuff. [15:47] Can we bring that into our praise and worship? [15:49] That’s every pastor’s worst nightmare, by the way. [15:52] Yes. But so they’re doing that.

[15:55] Then on top of that, they’re not just allowing the church members [15:59] to practice immorality unchecked. [16:02] First Corinthians five actually lays out the case that they were seeking [16:06] to celebrate sexual immorality in the church. [16:10] And Paul is so grossed out by what they are doing. [16:13] He says, even people who deny the gospel of Jesus,

[16:17] look at you and say, we don’t want to be Christians [16:20] because Christians are really, really wicked. [16:23] By the way, the church at Corinth was acting. [16:26] Paul says, you need to stop letting these people who are not Christians [16:29] believe they are Christians and call them out for their immoral practices [16:33] so much so that he says, put them out from among you because they aren’t doing you well.

[16:39] So this is a church in trouble. [16:41] Then it goes past that. [16:43] And Paul says, you guys have a bigger problem. [16:47] Listen, let me correct some things. [16:48] Men, you need to look like men. [16:51] Women, you need to look like women.

[16:54] Women shouldn’t look like men. [16:55] Men shouldn’t look like women. [16:57] You need to live out the gender that God has created you to be. [17:02] And so this is a church that’s struggling. All right. [17:06] Then he gets to first Corinthians 16, [17:08] and he lays out a very short verse that if you don’t look at the entire context of the book,

[17:16] much of the meaning of this verse will be missed. [17:19] There are short verses in the Bible, but there are never short contexts [17:23] because all of them have large context. [17:26] In first Corinthians 16, 13, he says this as he is signing off. [17:31] Be watchful. [17:32] Stand firm in the faith.

[17:34] Act like men. [17:37] Be strong. [17:39] Now, some of you might be using a different translation than I’m using, and that’s OK. [17:45] We have a bookstore where you can get an ESV. [17:48] All right. And I highly recommend you do that, especially if you’re going to come here. [17:51] I mean, it’s what I’m going to read from every single week.

[17:53] So you should too. [17:54] And it is a superior translation in my not humble opinion in this moment. [18:00] But there’s a phrase in there that’s vital to the context that we’re talking about. [18:04] And of course, it’s obvious it’s that phrase act like men. [18:07] It’s possible that your translation doesn’t say that it’s possible that your translation [18:12] says be courageous.

[18:14] Right now, if your translation says be courageous, it’s not wrong. [18:21] It’s just less than what he’s actually trying to get across. [18:25] Because the total phrase that he’s talking about there, [18:29] the total verb noun participle that’s joined together right there, [18:34] isn’t just about a general sense of courage. [18:39] He’s saying specifically a type of courage that is distinct among men.

[18:48] And that is why the text says act like men, because he’s saying you have the type of courage [18:55] that men are supposed to have that makes them the ones who lead, sacrifice, [19:05] protect, and endure in the face of adversity. [19:09] You say, how do you get all that from that phrase? [19:11] Because of the verse as a whole. [19:13] He begins the verse by saying be watchful.

[19:17] Why does he say be watchful? [19:19] He’s speaking to the men in that church and he’s pointing out [19:22] you guys have not been watchful. [19:27] You have not protected your church. [19:31] It is the calling of God on the men of the faith to protect the church [19:35] from all of the issues that Corinth was enduring at that time.

[19:39] Men protect. [19:41] That’s our calling. [19:42] But he goes further. [19:44] He says stand firm in the faith. [19:48] The phrase has this idea of when everyone is falling around you, [19:54] when everybody is getting weak need,

[19:57] when adversity is overwhelming and overcoming everyone around you, [20:02] you be the type of man who can stand on strong legs with broad shoulders [20:09] and support the people around you who are going to fall in the face of adversity. [20:16] And that’s why he says act like a man because when your family around you [20:22] is about to fall, it is the calling of fatherhood to possess the type of fortitude [20:29] to endure the adversary that is coming against you and protect the family around you

[20:38] by holding them up with your strong arms and strong back.

[20:44] Stand firm in the faith. [20:47] Act like men. [20:50] Be strong.

[20:53] Now I will tell you some men are stronger than other men. [20:56] It’s true. [20:57] I mean, you know, we have differences in the way that our genetics make us, [21:01] but it is more true than untrue that men by and large are stronger than women. [21:10] Not necessarily when you’re watching a sappy movie. [21:13] That’s not what I’m talking about.

[21:14] I mean, sometimes these guys fall apart, start weeping all over themselves, [21:17] and that’s just embarrassing. [21:19] I mean, nobody wants to see that guy is just pretend like sit there and just kind of look [21:24] the other way. [21:25] But the strength, not just even physical strength, even though men by and large [21:34] are typically physically stronger than women.

[21:37] That’s why we typically have a larger physical stature that in Golden Corral.

[21:46] But men are to possess a type of mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical fortitude [21:56] that is for the benefit of everyone around you to lead them courageously. [22:05] That’s the idea of first Corinthians 16 13. [22:09] Paul is exhorting the men who have not been leading to get off of their butts [22:14] and start to act like men because they can lead. [22:18] They must lead.

[22:20] Fatherhood is built on that type of masculinity. [22:26] See, we need to possess the type of qualities that are befitting a man, [22:32] that are leading men to be the type of men that they need to be. [22:38] In the Old Testament, this idea of courage in the light of a man is an idea all over [22:46] the conquests of Israel in the Old Testament. [22:49] There’s one specific example that’s interesting because it was a time when God was going to

[22:53] judge Israel with a pagan nation. [22:56] He was going to bring the Philistines in to judge them. [22:59] He was going to bring the Philistines in to defeat them in battle [23:02] because Israel had sin that they needed to deal with. [23:05] And look at the way the Philistines encouraged each other. [23:08] It said in first Samuel 4 9, take courage.

[23:12] And what does he say next? [23:14] Be men. [23:16] It is unmanly to let your fear overwhelm you and overcome you. [23:22] He says, so that you won’t become slaves to the Hebrews as they have been to you. [23:26] Be men and fight. [23:30] See, in this moment, Israel wasn’t showing good, healthy masculinity.

[23:37] And Lord judged them through a pagan nation.

[23:41] The reality of our masculinity needs to drive the way that men do everything. [23:46] It needs to drive the way that you plan your life. [23:49] Some men are planning completely selfish lives that are never going to benefit anybody but you. [23:55] That’s not masculine. [23:57] Masculinity is a benefit to everyone around you because it teaches what real men are like. [24:05] Fathers, you need to take the responsibility for leading your wife

[24:09] and your children in the way that God has designed you to lead. [24:14] You need to raise your boys to be men. [24:18] And that is going to require you to act like a man. [24:23] That is going to require you to champion manhood in front of them. [24:28] I have two sons and it is my responsibility to teach them to be men. [24:34] I cannot raise them to be anything else because there is no other option.

[24:39] The problem that we have is that we have abdicated that right and we believe that there are options [24:44] here. There are no options here and that plays out in very practical ways. [24:50] That plays out to the toys that you allow your children to play with. [24:54] That plays out to the videos that you expose your children to and you allow them to play with. [24:59] It is the requirement and responsibility of every man in here to raise your sons and your [25:07] daughters in a heteronormative environment. I want you to understand that that is not in vogue.

[25:14] Culture is going to teach you a completely different story [25:17] but you need to teach them practically and applicable ways by [25:23] exemplifying in front of them what a father looks like, what a mother looks like, [25:27] and they should not until they are much much older have any idea that any other norm exists. [25:36] Parents are making large mistakes by exposing their children to too much culture and we are [25:44] saying silly things like we’re being missionaries in the culture right now.

[25:48] Eight-year-olds aren’t missionaries. Eight-year-olds are being molded. [25:53] Eight-year-olds are having information downloaded into their brains and they do not know how to [25:59] synthesize that data. It is the father and the mother’s responsibility to synthesize and filter [26:08] information for their children so that when their brains have progressed to the extent where they [26:17] can begin to synthesize data, you have already downloaded a worldview for them to see it through. [26:24] And that’s true of so many things but especially sexual ethics. Too many parents are playing with

[26:32] their children’s [26:34]

[27:02] We begin to abdicate heteronormativity. [27:06] Number two, as the father goes so goes the family. As the father goes so goes the family.

[27:14] Fathers lead families for good or bad but fathers lead. That is an objective

[28:02] I’m not that manly. I’m not very masculine. I’m gonna let my wife lead the family. I’m gonna let [28:08] her do what she needs to do or even worse you just abandon your family and try to get her to fill [28:14] voids that she was never created to fill and you just completely fail to lead. Here’s the key. [28:22] You’ve still led. That’s why fatherlessness is a blight on our society because even in absence [28:33] they have taught their families what leadership looks like for bad. For bad. Fathers you can’t [28:43] choose whether you will lead or not. You can only choose whether it will be healthy or unhealthy.

[28:50] Whether it will be good or bad. Here’s the key. Men’s fraternity is so wonderful in so many [28:59] different ways and they give us four keys to what following Jesus will look like if you’re being [29:07] masculine. The first one is and I want the men to write this down and then we’re going to tease them [29:13] The first one is men reject passivity. Men reject passivity. It is not masculine to be passive. [29:23] It’s not. You do not let life happen to you. You happen to life as a man and you do not let life [29:35] happen to the people around you. You reject passivity. You are involved. You are active

[29:41] and when you reject passivity it’ll lead you to the second thing. You will accept responsibility. [29:47] You will accept responsibility. Now it’s that second one that I think is so key to understand [29:54] because so many people struggle to accept responsibility for their lives because you [29:58] don’t believe you did the damage. Someone else did it to you and here’s the key. That’s true. [30:06] Many times someone hurt you. A father did great damage to you. A mother did damage to you. A [30:14] spouse did damage to you. A boyfriend or girlfriend or just someone else did great damage to you and

[30:21] you are spending your life consumed with I didn’t do this to myself. Even if you have been victimized [30:30] hear what you need to understand this morning. You are not a victim. Do not believe that because [30:39] it will leave you in a place where you cannot move. Even if someone else got you to where you [30:47] are right now you are the only one that’s going to be able to do anything to get yourself out of it. [30:55] You might be in a hole in your life and you say this person did that. This is why I don’t want a [31:02] father figure in my life. This is why I don’t want a mother figure in my life. This is why I

[31:05] can’t leave my family like a man. Friends the only answer for where you are right now accept [31:14] responsibility for your life. Grab a shovel and start digging yourself out because there’s plenty [31:21] of blame to go around. But in my life one thing that I’ve learned I can blame other people but [31:29] that never helps me. Playing the blame game has never helped anyone. Even if someone else did it [31:36] to you accept responsibility for getting through it and getting out of it. When you accept [31:41] responsibility it allows you to get to the third thing lead courageously. Men lead courageously.

[31:48] Having courage doesn’t mean there’s no fear. I’m afraid of a lot of things. Snakes, spiders. [31:55] I don’t mow my grass without my shovel or an axe or a hatchet somewhere near me because I’m so [32:01] afraid of them I’m a snake serial killer. I see people all the time don’t kill the black ones [32:09] they’re good no they’re not. Do you want to know how I know that? I saw one. He was wicked [32:17] and he needed to die and I decapitated him. That was his sentence for being a snake. [32:25] I’m afraid of them but I courageously murder all of them. I’m breaking a commandment I know

[32:31] and the reason I say it’s murder is because I’m not eating it. It’s not a sport maybe it is a [32:37] sport but there’s a lot of prejudice involved in that death. I could tell you some stories [32:43] of ways I’ve killed snakes. I’m afraid of things but courage marches you through the fire of fear [32:51] to do the right thing. To do what needs to be done. Men lead courageously and then fourthly men [32:58] invest eternally. Men invest eternally. You know what that means? It means that as a man [33:06] you cannot just do act react and respond to whatever wind comes your way.

[33:14] You have to consider what the wise thing to do in every situation and circumstance is because [33:21] fatherhood lets you know one important thing you are responsible for more than just your life. [33:28] It’s amazing the responsibility that I have being married. Every choice I make affects my life. [33:35] Every choice I make affects my three children and so I have to invest in eternal ethic and wisdom [33:45] because it affects everyone around me because my family should be better because I’m in it not worse [33:53] because I’m in it. When you embrace masculinity you embrace the responsibility to make the life

[33:59] of everyone around you a little bit better simply because you are in their lives. [34:06] That is real manhood. Why is it this way? In Ephesians chapter 5 the apostle Paul writes [34:14] that the wife is to submit to her husband and the husband is to love his wife the way that Jesus [34:23] loves the church. It’s a fascinating phrase because it lays out this continued ethic [34:33] of what it means to be masculine. To be masculine is to lead but then in Ephesians chapter 6 verse [34:40] 4 the apostle writes this. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the

[34:46] discipline and instruction in the Lord. It’s fascinating because the way most families are [34:52] that text should say mothers not fathers. See this lays out an ethic for where a lot of men [35:00] need to change is that you just come home sometimes and you act like you are a passive [35:06] figure in that family and you’re like what’s happening with my children? Well my wife is in [35:11] charge of that so I got to go to her for that. No you are to lead in that same light and look [35:18] at what it says and this is what’s so important for men to understand. Do not provoke your children

[35:23] to anger. Now this means don’t be annoying. It does mean that. I’ve seen a lot of fathers who [35:29] are annoying. Why do you do that? Why do you make it your goal in life to annoy your children? [35:36] That’s stupid. You are being stupid if you make it your goal to be an annoying presence in your [35:44] family’s life. You are asking your children to disrespect you when you act in an annoying fashion. [35:51] So stop it. But it means more than that. There’s nothing that provokes someone to anger more than [35:57] hypocrisy because what I see happening in a lot of men’s lives is that your children are becoming

[36:04] something. Whatever it is they’re becoming because that’s what kids do. They mature and you don’t [36:11] like what they’re becoming and you will say things like I didn’t teach you to be like that. [36:18] Yes you did because you expected something to happen to them even as you abdicated responsibility [36:28] to lead. There’s nothing that provokes a child to anger more than a parent setting a standard that [36:36] themselves don’t reach. Don’t provoke your children to anger in that way. If you want your kids to [36:42] measure up, guess what Buck? You need to measure up. That’s truth. And so it is the father’s

[36:51] influence in the lives of his children that influences the health of his family. Here’s [36:57] how Doug Wilson puts it. He says fatherhood should be seen as the collection of all those [37:02] characteristics that flow from delighting in sacrificing bodily strength for goodness. [37:11] Men are you tired? Sure you are. You’re a man. We’re always sleepy. If I’m awake, [37:19] I’m looking forward to the next time I won’t be. That’s just the truth of men. I mean we like to [37:25] that. We sleep. All right. But here’s the key. So often we will use being tired as an excuse to

[37:35] unplug from our families. Stop that. When you get off of work from an 8 to 12 hour day, sometimes [37:42] even more, you will come home tired but you still need to invest in the work of family. And here’s [37:50] what that means. That means you have the coffee made, you drink the coffee and you plug in for a [37:57] night of child rearing and husbanding in a healthy way to lead your family. You are sacrificing [38:05] bodily strength for the health of other people. That’s godly masculinity. Doug Wilson goes further. [38:13] He says this. Men are created to exercise dominion over the earth. They are fitted to be caretakers,

[38:19] tilling the earth. They are equipped to be saviors, delivering from evil. They are expected to grow [38:25] up into wisdom, becoming sages or wise men. And they are designed to reflect the image and glory [38:32] of god. Some of these following terms may seem cumbersome, but let’s call men lords, husbandmen, [38:38] saviors, sages, and glory bearers. It takes faith to believe that you can walk that path. [38:46] A tremendous amount of faith. See friends, it takes courage because work is hard.

[38:55] And people may even discourage you from pursuing god’s ideal for your life. Men, that’s why you [39:03] need to stop letting your other male friends who are ruining their lives from leading you. And you [39:11] need to stop letting men who don’t believe the word of god to influence you in ways that they [39:17] shouldn’t influence you. Many people will say, Steve, yeah, but the biblical ideal is something [39:22] that is unattainable. God never lays out an ethic that we can’t pursue with the power of the holy [39:30] spirit to attain in our lives. While it may be imperfect the way that I reach for it, god calls

[39:36] me to reach for it still and enjoy. I will. I must for the hope of not just my family, [39:46] but the world. Because that is what is at stake. And so we need to understand finally this morning [39:53] that true fatherhood emerges from a life rooted in the gospel. True fatherhood emerges from a life [40:00] rooted in the gospel. Friends, without the gospel, you can have behavior, but you can’t have real [40:09] glory. And that’s the difference. And so what happens sometimes at churches, we get pepped up [40:15] and we’re like, okay, I’m going to do it. I’m going to reject passivity. I’m going to accept

[40:18] responsibility. I’m going to lead courageously and I am going to invest eternally. And then we try [40:24] and our wife is not in a good mood on Tuesday. And then our kids are a little disobedient on [40:29] Thursday and we’re like, well, the joy is not there. That’s because you tried to modify your [40:37] behavior with no roots in health. You need to root your joy in the gospel of Jesus Christ. [40:45] Because when you root your joy in the gospel, you’re able to endure over a lifetime. You are [40:52] able to actually live out what Proverbs chapter 23, 24 talks about. It says the father of the

[40:58] righteous will greatly rejoice. He who fathers the wise son will be glad. You see, rejoice, [41:05] be glad. Those are terms about our joy. And so often we don’t think that we can have it [41:12] because we’re unwilling to invest towards it. When you are rooted in the gospel, you are able [41:18] to practice these things over the long haul. You are able to endure that beginning season where [41:24] your wife isn’t taking you very seriously. Because you have been a bad example for so many years, [41:32] it’s going to take a couple of months to build credibility with her. To believe that the guy

[41:36] that’s been passive for so long is actually going to start leading. When you trust the gospel, [41:41] you’re rooted in him and she can’t determine your destiny because Jesus is determining it for you. [41:47] When you’re rooted in the gospel, even when your son looks like the biggest knucklehead on the [41:52] block, you’re going to endure all of his bad behavior because you believe that your identity [41:59] is in Christ and it will be better for him in the long haul. And even though, and here’s the key, [42:05] parents, I know enough parents who have adult children, believe this, they are going to greatly

[42:12] disappoint you at some point. Some of you cannot believe that your children are going to sin. [42:19] They already are. You just, for some reason, don’t see it. But all of our children at some [42:25] point are going to greatly disappoint us to the extent where we’re going to question the godly [42:30] investments that we put in their lives. But we need to continue down the path so that when they [42:36] repent and turn back to the way that they were raised, that is the moment where you can have [42:43] real joy and gladness in the design of God. 1 Corinthians 11 verse 3 says that,

[42:52] I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ. The head of a wife is her husband. [42:57] The head of Christ is God. We quote that a lot. I don’t think the building is going to fall down, [43:04] but if you’re listening to the wind, it might. But we need to understand that when I was raised, [43:10] I’ve been in the church my whole life. Kind of full disclosure here, my whole life. I’m a [43:15] church kid, all right? I have no dark past, all right? My dark past was I threw a Bible away one [43:21] time. I don’t know why. But, oh yeah. But the reality you need to deal with is I’ve heard a

[43:30] lot of rah-rah where it’s like, yeah, men lead women. And that’s true. But there’s a qualification [43:40] there, isn’t there? See, a lot of times we expect God’s ideal to happen without the type [43:48] of submission that we need to put forward in our lives. The head of every man is what? Or who? [43:58] Christ. Men pursue submission to Jesus Christ in all things, and God’s design will flow out of that. [44:13] God’s design doesn’t change in light of sin. It never does. People are just forced, [44:19] women are just forced to try to fill roles that they weren’t created by God to fill,

[44:23] and they’re going to do their best, but it’s not going to be God’s ideal. [44:27] But you, man, have a responsibility from God to submit your life to Jesus Christ. And that [44:36] means that we cannot just be going about in our lives, putting our hands to whatever comes our [44:43] way. We need to consider how our decisions, how our actions, and how our attitudes as men reflect [44:51] the gospel of Jesus Christ to people around us, because that is what inspires real leadership. [45:00] See, friends, masculinity matures you, and it grows you up into a man. Men bring order into chaos.

[45:11] Men are not supposed to bring chaos into order. And for too many families, [45:18] that is often what it looks like. Men, you need to find glory in your manhood. You need to take [45:25] joy in your masculinity. Jesus was a man. Jesus was not passive. Jesus is the standard of what [45:37] an alpha male is supposed to look like, because he ordered his life towards sacrifice that brought [45:46] great gain to everyone around him who would trust in him. Jesus invested his life into what [45:55] eternally mattered. And so men, lead. Be watchful. Stand firm in your faith. Act like men and be

[46:09] strong. Every Sunday here at Village, we reflect on communion. [46:17] The bread on the tables represents the broken body of Christ. The cup represents his shed blood. [46:24] And see, the key with the sacrifice of the cross of Jesus Christ is that Jesus sacrificed for a joy [46:32] that was greater. He emptied himself out for you and for me. And if you’ve trusted in Jesus [46:39] as your Savior, come up here, go to the back, eat the bread, drink the cup, and in so, [46:47] you will be proclaiming your faith to everyone around you. But when you walk out of those doors,

[46:53] specifically, I want to speak to the men, order your life so that you can lead, [47:00] because that is what faith in Jesus Christ inspires you to do. Lead courageously. [47:10] When you’re ready, come.