Reforming a Vision for Family.

Steve Gentry

[0:08] We’ll go ahead and have a seat. Welcome to Village Church. If this is your first time here, my name is Steve. [0:12] I’m one of the pastors here at Village Church. And as always, I’m thankful and grateful to see each and every one of you. [0:19] If you have a Bible, go ahead and open it to Genesis chapter 2. [0:23] That’s where we will be for the majority of the morning. We’ll be in other places as well. [0:27] But those texts will be behind me. They’ll also be on the Bible app if you have that as well. [0:33] I don’t know how you find us in there, but I assume that you’re smart enough to find us in there.

[0:38] So go ahead and find the notes and everything in there. [0:42] We’re starting a new series this morning, and I want to build a foundation today to aid us to really track for the rest of the series. [0:52] So today I’m kind of giving almost a general overview, but to kind of try to get us on the same page. [1:01] Because if it’s one thing I know there’s a issue where we might not be on the same page, it’s how we view family. [1:09] It’s how we view the role of a husband. It’s how we view the role of a wife. [1:12] It’s how we view the role of children.

[1:15] But I want to start with helping you understand that I believe that if you have faith in Jesus Christ, [1:22] so if you’re a follower of Christ, that changes your life. [1:27] Okay, so putting your faith in Jesus, submitting to him as your Savior and Lord changes the trajectory of your life. [1:36] It puts you on a new path. [1:39] It sends you in a different direction than you would have been without Jesus. [1:44] So I very much say that much of the Christian life is about change.

[1:49] And if it’s anything that I know about most people, it’s that you are resistant to change. [1:56] Well, I want you to understand that we got to start with the basis, no change, no Jesus. [2:02] If you have change, then you might have Jesus. [2:06] But if you are committed to a view of why you exist and the direction that you are going, [2:15] that is the exact same before or without faith in Jesus Christ, and it is with Jesus, [2:22] then you do not know Jesus as your Lord.

[2:25] It’s that simple. The Gospel is that clear. [2:29] That when you come to faith in Christ, it builds a distinct new life with new values. [2:37] And what the Gospel gives us then is a great restoration of God’s design in our lives. [2:46] And so the Scripture will teach us that no matter where you are in life, [2:51] no matter what your struggle in life, if you come to faith in Jesus Christ, [2:55] then you can be restored to God’s design for your life.

[3:01] And a lot of what we’re going to talk about today is God’s design for your life. [3:06] We’re going to talk about the first covenant that God ever made between people, [3:10] and that is the covenant of marriage. [3:13] That is a husband and a wife by God’s design in monogamy, [3:18] committing to one another for the rest of their lives. [3:21] And I want to qualify really quickly, and then I’m not going to qualify it anymore.

[3:28] Because I understand that many of you are at a place in life where you are not married. [3:34] Many of you are at a place in life where you do not have children. [3:37] Some of you are at a place in life where you’re like, [3:39] man, I wish so much that I had that. [3:43] Or some of you are at a place in life where I used to have that, [3:46] but I don’t have that anymore.

[3:47] And some of you are probably at a place in life where it’s like, [3:49] I have nothing but baggage, guilt, shame, where family thoughts are concerned, [3:55] where marriage is concerned, where children are concerned, on and on and on. [3:58] And I want you to understand that I get it. [4:02] You should not receive this series as to say that if you were married, [4:11] you would have more of Christ, or you would be a better Christian.

[4:15] Or if you had children, you would have more of Christ, [4:20] you should have children if you want to be a better Christian. [4:23] I don’t mean that at all. [4:25] Christ is enough for where every single one of you are in your lives right now. [4:34] But even for the single people in here, [4:37] even for those single people that have that gift that nobody wants,

[4:39] maybe you’re like, maybe I have the gift of singleness, [4:41] I wish I had a receipt so I could return it.

[4:45] That’s how it worked when I was in college. [4:47] That’s all I’m saying is like it was the gift that some people were afraid they had.

[4:53] But all jokes aside, I want you to understand that no matter what situation you are in, [5:00] you need us to champion family. [5:03] I will tell you that you need us to champion healthy marriages. [5:07] You need us to champion biblical fatherhood, biblical motherhood, [5:13] biblical masculinity, biblical femininity. [5:16] You need us to champion that because the scripture is saturated with it.

[5:23] And anything that the scripture is saturated with, [5:25] no matter where you are in life, is good for you. [5:30] So even if there’s going to be some struggles over the next couple of weeks [5:34] because of the specific life situation that you happen to be in, [5:39] I want you to understand that it is for your good, not for your detriment. [5:45] Do not receive anything that I say today or for the next few weeks as a slight.

[5:49] Do not receive it as me saying that you lack because that’s not the gospel. [5:55] The gospel is what your identity needs to be found in, not in a spouse, not in a child. [6:02] The gospel is enough for you. [6:05] But many of you are married. [6:09] Many of you have families. [6:11] Many of you have marriages in crisis.

[6:14] Many of you have families in crisis. [6:16] And so I’ll be frank, you are my primary audience in the next few weeks. [6:23] And in Genesis chapter two, God has created Adam and Eve. [6:29] And he has done so in such a way to give them a distinction from the rest of the world. [6:36] Adam and Eve bear the image of God. [6:39] And to Adam, the father says in verse 24, therefore.

[6:43] And so he’s saying that what I’m about to say is because of everything that I’ve done thus far, [6:51] everything that I’ve said thus far. [6:53] He says, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife. [6:59] That term hold fast is where we get the term fidelity. [7:04] It is a distinct type of faithfulness. [7:06] And it’s translated hold fast because it literally means to grab a hold of something and never let go.

[7:14] It means to commit to something till death do us part. [7:19] That’s the idea. [7:21] All right. [7:22] And then he continues and he says, they shall become one flesh. [7:26] You might say, but there’s two of them. [7:28] How are they one?

[7:30] Because the marriage relationship is so unique and peculiar in the way that God has designed for it to function [7:37] that it is to replicate and to image to the rest of the world the unity that takes place in the triune Godhead. [7:46] Because he exists in perfect relationship, father, son, Holy Spirit, one God. [7:53] And he says, I want to design a relationship that could show a just a portion of that type of unity, [8:01] which is why God went to Adam, took a rib out of him and formed Eve. [8:10] So that out of Adam, this woman could come who would be a direct representation of his own life.

[8:19] So he goes on and he says, the wildest part to me, verse twenty five, only at a human level. [8:26] And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

[8:33] That doesn’t seem like those two halves of the sentence fit together. [8:36] At second half, especially because, quite frankly, if I were to take any of you now, [8:42] if this analogy doesn’t fit you, you need to see a professional counselor. [8:45] I’ll just be that clear with you because something’s wrong with your noggin. [8:50] All right. If I were to take any of you, drop you in the middle of Times Square, totally naked. [8:58] And you don’t immediately become filled with regret, shame, embarrassment, trying to cover yourself up,

[9:06] you know, trying to find a manhole cover. [9:09] I don’t know why I said manhole cover. [9:12] Things are heavy. How would you even get it out of the ground? [9:15] All right. You’re trying to find something to cover yourself up with. [9:20] A manhole cover. I can cover that much either. [9:23] All right. That’s an instinctive thing.

[9:27] Because sin brought shame into our lives and it is unnatural for us not to be fully clothed in front of other people. [9:35] And so he’s giving a peculiarity to marriage here. [9:41] He’s giving something that, here’s the key you need to understand, [9:46] should not exist in any other relationship that you have in your life. [9:53] The only relationship in your life that verse 25 should make any sense for is marriage. [10:01] And that is God’s design.

[10:04] That is the way God meant it to be. [10:07] So when people say, oh, you know, following Jesus means that you should never have to deal with shame. [10:12] I understand the intention, but it’s also not true. [10:16] There are certain types of shames that we carry through life that protect us from sin. [10:23] And verse 25 is a great example of that. [10:25] There’s only one relationship in your life that you are meant to be fully exposed to another human being.

[10:33] And it is natural. [10:35] No other relationship should bear that type of intimacy, [10:41] that type of closeness, that type of freedom, to put it bluntly, than marriage. [10:49] And so when we begin to talk about marriage, [10:52] understand that we are talking about the most unique relationship that you will ever encounter in your life, [10:58] one that God has ordained to be better, more fulfilling,

[11:04] more important than any other relationship in your life. [11:10] That’s the glory of marriage. [11:14] It’s the wonder of marriage. [11:17] It’s a part of the issue that we need to recover in our lives, is the glory of marriage. [11:24] And the question is, how do we do that? [11:25] Well, number one, the gospel recovers God’s design for family.

[11:31] The gospel recovers God’s design for family.

[11:36] Sin has radically corrupted people. [11:40] I mean, it’s just a fact. [11:42] Sin has radically corrupted this world. [11:46] But sin has also corrupted us at the most fundamental level of who we believe we are, [11:53] where we find our identity, how we view the relationships in our lives, [11:58] to the extent of how interchangeable we believe the specific relationships and identities in our lives are.

[12:05] And so it is not a fruit of the gospel that we feel freedom to marry and separate, [12:12] marry and separate, at the rate at which we seem to do. [12:16] That’s not a fruit of the gospel. [12:19] That is a fruit of sinfulness. [12:20] That is not a glory. [12:22] That in itself is a shame.

[12:25] We in our lives, though, are not condemned to experience that type of separation [12:34] and that type of marring and that type of corruption for the rest of our lives in the rest of our days. [12:40] In Christ, we can recover what sin has cost us. [12:46] And so when I talk about reform, I’m talking about recovering God’s design for marriage in this life. [12:53] I’m talking about recovering an identity in which we understand that we can have what God says we should have [13:04] and we would be better if we had it than we are if we don’t have it.

[13:09] Because many of you in this room believe a lie. [13:13] Many of you believe a lot of lies. [13:14] I’ll be honest about that. [13:16] But there’s one lie in this instance that many of you believe. [13:20] You believe that you cannot fully have what God has designed you to have. [13:25] You believe that you are condemned to not obey God to its fullest.

[13:32] You believe that you are condemned to have a less than life than what God has designed you to have. [13:37] And I’m telling you right now from the Word of God that God wants you to recover. [13:43] He wants you to be restored. [13:45] He has a vision for you to have what He designs you to have all the way back to His original design for your life. [13:59] Marriage is the first covenant that God ever blessed between people. [14:05] It’s the primary covenant of all mankind.

[14:08] It is what society was to be built upon. [14:14] Did you know that our word for economy comes from the biblical word for family? [14:19] That’s how vital family is to society. [14:24] And a society that does not champion family misses out so much on what God’s design for our lives is. [14:33] God is laying a foundation for society. [14:37] But sin would convince us away from the foundations of what God has for society.

[14:42] And it would have us to minimize what God says society should function upon. [14:49] But we, through faith in Jesus, if we have faith in Jesus, must be those who would try to recover. [14:57] Who would seek to reform what God says is holy and understand that anything other than what God says is holy is unholy. [15:06] Many people claim that Jesus did not speak exhaustively about issues of marriage and sexuality. [15:14] And I would say that’s not true. Jesus gave an exhaustive view of that. [15:19] Specifically in Matthew chapter 19.

[15:22] He gives an exhaustive theology of marriage. [15:24] He gives an exhaustive theology of family. [15:27] He gives an exhaustive theology of sexuality. [15:30] Because in Matthew chapter 19, when Jesus is questioned on what about marriage and divorce? [15:35] How do we handle those things? [15:37] Jesus very briefly just points to what He already said.

[15:42] Many people have a false view of the words of Christ. [15:46] You open your Bibles and you look for the words that are in red. [15:49] And you say those are the words of Jesus. [15:51] So they are superior to the rest of the words. [15:54] No, they just change the color of the ink. [15:57] That’s all that happened in those instances.

[16:00] Jesus is responsible for all of it. [16:04] Genesis to Revelation. [16:06] Jesus said all that. [16:08] And so when Jesus is asked in Matthew chapter 19, specifically in verse 5, [16:13] He answers this question by pointing back and saying, [16:18] I’ve already given you a design for marriage.

[16:21] I’ve already given you the basis for how you are to build family [16:25] and see your faithfulness to your spouse. [16:28] In Matthew chapter 19, 5, He puts it this way. [16:30] He says, Therefore a man shall leave his father, his mother, hold fast to his wife, [16:34] and the two shall become one flesh. [16:35] Does that look familiar?

[16:36] This is exactly what He said in Genesis 2.24. [16:41] And Jesus saying that, He is necessarily denying any other definition [16:49] of the most intimate relationship in your life that you yourself could design [16:54] and your role in it. [16:56] He’s saying, this is what I designed [16:59] and this is the limitation upon which I have put human sexuality.

[17:03] This is the limitation upon which I will give marriage. [17:08] There is no other legitimate form of marriage that exists [17:12] outside of a monogamous heterosexual relationship. [17:16] That is God’s design. [17:18] This is Jesus’ ultimate word on this issue. [17:21] Why though is it specifically this way?

[17:24] Well, that word therefore, as I said, is very important [17:27] because He’s pointing back to what He’s already said in Genesis chapter 2, verse 18. [17:33] God is creating and He creates Adam. [17:36] And it’s the first time in creation that He looks at something [17:38] and doesn’t immediately look at the fulfillment of it and say, it’s good. [17:42] But it’s not because man is bad.

[17:43] It’s because it was incomplete. [17:46] He looks to Adam and Adam is not the fulfillment of what God wanted to do. [17:51] Why was it not good for man to be alone? [17:54] Because God didn’t want man to be alone. [17:56] That’s why. [17:58] God looks to Adam and then He says, Go, name all of the animals.

[18:01] And He looks to all of the animals and He’s naming them. [18:04] And it says that there was not a helper fit for Him. [18:09] Now, I just want to give a caveat here about your pets. [18:12] All right. [18:14] Here’s the key you need to understand here. [18:17] I have a dog.

[18:18] I’m a fan of my dog, but I like my kids better. [18:21] And that’s biblical. [18:23] All right. [18:24] If you’ve got Fido and you see Fido as equivalent to your child, [18:29] you’ve got a sin problem. [18:31] All right.

[18:33] Because that’s not a helper fit for anybody. [18:36] That’s an animal. [18:37] And God has given a distinct dignity to humanity that He willfully withheld from animals. [18:46] Animals are no substitute for humans. [18:50] A handicapped child unable to care for him or herself has more value and dignity [18:58] than any animal on this earth.

[19:02] And part of the problem with the way that we view children [19:05] and the way that we view children even all the way back to the womb now [19:08] is because we in our sin have sought to rob dignity from humanity [19:14] and give it into the animal world. [19:17] Now, I don’t like animal abuse. [19:18] I’m against it.

[19:19] That’s a sin. [19:20] That shows a deep level of depravity. [19:22] But it is not equivalent to human beings. [19:25] Human beings have been given a dignity unparalleled in this world [19:30] because human beings have been given the image of God to image to all of creation around us. [19:37] And so he looks at him and he says, there’s not a helper fit for him.

[19:40] And then out of Adam, he takes a rib and he forms Eve.

[19:47] And that was good. [19:50] That relationship was wholesome. [19:52] That relationship was beautiful. [19:56] Adam finally was supplied with a helper fit for him. [20:02] And he loved Eve.

[20:06] God put them together and he made what we can recover in the gospel of Jesus Christ. [20:15] You can have the marriage that God wants you to have, [20:20] but it is going to involve deep repentance and trust in Jesus Christ. [20:26] There’s no easy relationship under the sun [20:29] because there are no easy people under the sun. [20:33] But through faith in Jesus Christ, you can have the relationship that you’ve always needed.

[20:39] You can find the relationship that you’ve always wanted, [20:42] but some of the problem is often in what we expect and want from another person. [20:48] Spouses make terrible gods. [20:50] They cannot fulfill you the way that God has designed for you to be fulfilled, [20:54] but they can help you be fulfilled in the way that God has designed for you to be fulfilled [20:58] through faith in Jesus Christ.

[21:01] And for some of you, and I’ve heard some people really use some unbiblical sinful theology [21:07] to describe their marriage. [21:09] And then I’ve heard people say things such as, [21:12] I need to divorce my spouse so that I can find God’s will for my life [21:17] because it was against God’s will when I married you [21:20] and I need to go find the partner that God had for me.

[21:23] That is a load. [21:26] All right. [21:26] It’s a lie. [21:28] It’s not true. [21:30] The one that you are married to is the one that God has for you. [21:36] God, no one has entered into a covenant relationship to which God said,

[21:40] I can’t work with you two. [21:44] You’re not compatible enough. [21:46] That’s not the way it works. [21:47] The moment the covenant is made before God, [21:50] that’s why when I perform weddings, [21:52] I say the covenant you’re making today is primarily to God and only then is it to each other.

[21:59] Because God ordains that when we covenant together, [22:01] when we come together for a marital relationship, [22:04] the design is for the rest of our lives. [22:06] That is why divorce is messy. [22:09] You say, Steve, how do you know? [22:12] Because I know lots of divorced people

[22:13] and not a single person has ever been through divorce has come up to me afterward and said, [22:17] that was fun. [22:17] I hope I get to do it again.

[22:20] No, divorce is terrible. [22:23] Divorce hurts everybody. [22:24] Divorce is not fun. [22:26] No one wants to do it. [22:28] And it is a grace of God that it is so unpleasant [22:32] because that tells us something about divorce.

[22:37] And it’s not God’s design. [22:40] It’s not. [22:41] God wants us to have God glorifying Jesus following marriages in which the husband leads. [22:50] The husband is masculine. [22:52] The husband sacrifices. [22:54] The husband serves and the wife loves.

[22:58] The wife serves. [22:59] The wife follows and they come together for the purpose of bringing God glory. [23:04] That is God’s design. [23:06] And if you have faith in Jesus, every single one of you can have it. [23:10] Every single one of you. [23:12] It’s going to involve a lot of repentance.

[23:14] But you can recover God’s design for your life. [23:18] But it goes further. [23:19] Number two, family is the height of human experience. [23:22] Family is the height of human experience. [23:24] Now, I know I have some budding theologians out there that are looking kind of, [23:28] you got that pug look.

[23:30] You ever seen a pug? [23:31] You say something to a pug and the pug goes. [23:34] All right, some of you are looking at that and you’re like, [23:36] well, I don’t know if I agree with the statement, if it’s biblical or not. [23:39] Aren’t you supposed to find your human experience in faith in Jesus Christ and blah, blah, blah. [23:44] Here’s the deal.

[23:46] All right, I’m right. [23:47] So just listen to me and I’ll explain it. [23:51] All right, here’s the deal. [23:53] When you come to faith in Jesus Christ, you find the life that you’ve always needed. [23:59] You find the transformation that you’ve always needed. [24:02] You find the hope, the joy, the love, the Holy Spirit that you’ve always needed in your life.

[24:11] But here’s where a lot of people get lost is that translates into actual, [24:18] practical daily living in which you necessarily will invest your life, [24:26] your time, your resources, your environments into things. [24:32] And so the life of finding your joy in Jesus finds its ultimate experience [24:41] in God’s design from the outset of humanity. [24:46] And God is making a statement by putting this in Genesis chapter 2

[24:50] when he says come together as husband and wife. [24:54] He is saying this is the relationship you were designed to have. [24:58] And in finding your joy in Jesus, you will find in your marriage [25:04] a life of pointing one another to Jesus. [25:07] But that’s not where it stops. [25:10] Genesis 2 is not in chronological order.

[25:13] It is a commentary on Genesis 1, 26 through 28. [25:19] That is where God summarizes the creation of people. [25:22] In Genesis 1, 28, he is finished with his creation of Adam and Eve [25:27] and I believe it is postscripted onto Genesis 2. [25:31] Here’s what he says in Genesis 1, 28. [25:33] He says, God bless them.

[25:35] And God said to them, be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it. [25:41] This is the first part of what’s called the dominion mandate. [25:44] We don’t have time to get into the second part of it. [25:46] I’m just going to deal with the family aspect of it. [25:49] God looks to Adam and Eve and he says, there’s only two of you. [25:53] I want more.

[25:55] And I’ve also designed a wonderful way to make that happen.

[26:00] Then in Genesis 4, verse 1, [26:04] Now Adam knew Eve his wife. [26:06] She conceived him, Boracayne saying, [26:08] I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord. [26:12] Now, I’m not going to paint a vivid picture.

[26:19] But this isn’t meaning they went down to the local coffee shop [26:23] and chatted about their likes, dislikes and preferences [26:26] when it says Adam knew Eve.

[26:32] Adam knew Eve in a way he was never going to know another woman.

[26:38] Adam knew Eve intimately. [26:41] He knew Eve romantically. [26:43] He knew Eve to the level where they consummated their marriage together. [26:48] And the outcome of that consummation was a child. [26:53] This is a design within marriage. [26:56] Again, I’m not going to qualify this for issues of infertility.

[27:01] I’m just going to deal with God’s mandate that husbands and wives have babies. [27:08] Because oftentimes when we talk about discipleship, [27:11] we truncate it and talk about things outside of the family. [27:14] When I mean to tell you this morning that the greatest forms of discipleship [27:18] are going to be experienced inside of the family. [27:22] And one aspect of this is that God has told husbands and wives,

[27:27] look, if you have the physical capability to have children, [27:29] God wants you to have children. [27:31] I’m just going to be that blunt with you. [27:33] Now, I’m not talking about a Dugger theology here. [27:36] Don’t put that on me.

[27:40] You got to have one before you have 20. [27:42] Alright? And that would be good for some of you. [27:44] Alright? Here’s the key. [27:46] God has designed for the relationship inside of marriage, [27:50] the intimacy that we experience in marriage, [27:52] the pleasure, have you, that we experience inside of marriage

[27:55] to literally create life. [28:01] And that’s why there’s a distinction inside of marriage here as well. [28:05] Every other outlet that you will have and that you will give into [28:09] and the temptations into sin that you will give into for that type of pleasure, [28:14] you will seek to not have children or they are not capable to reproduce. [28:20] In those ways.

[28:21] And I will tell you that tells us something of God’s design as well. [28:25] It’s a wonderful thing. [28:26] It’s wonderful that God made procreation to happen in such a way [28:33] that you would want to return to it again and again and again. [28:38] It’s a grace that God did that and it is by design. [28:42] Now, procreation is not the only reason for that type of pleasure inside of marriage,

[28:48] but it is a wonderful byproduct. [28:52] It is a wonderful aspect that we can come together in the most holy of unions, [28:59] which is a boundary because the only type of relationship that you’re going to want to [29:06] and you’re designed to procreate inside of are committed monogamous heterosexual relationships. [29:12] Because no other relationship outside of man and woman has the biology to do that. [29:18] Number one, and then number two, the more you add into that creates nothing but trouble.

[29:25] And the family is designed by God to be a unit where procreation takes place [29:31] rather than not taking place unless there is some type of disorder.

[29:37] The reality that many of you need to deal with is that God wants you to have more babies than not. [29:43] And some of us, not me personally, are struggling with the reality that you are being selfish [29:52] and therefore disobeying God’s call for you to have children.

[29:58] Here’s what I want you to understand. [30:01] There’s many medical professionals in our church and they could give you a much better breakdown of this, [30:05] but there is an age and it’s younger than most people think, [30:09] where if you get pregnant, the doctor will write on the chart or the nurse will write on the chart, [30:15] geriatric pregnancy.

[30:19] All right? [30:21] Happens in your late 30s is my understanding.

[30:24] Some of you are kicking the can down the road because you haven’t gone on enough vacations yet. [30:30] You don’t think your house is big enough yet. [30:32] You haven’t beat Fortnite yet. [30:35] I don’t even know if you can beat that game. [30:38] I’m a Mario guy. [30:40] You can beat that one.

[30:43] But you haven’t had enough, you know, Bosnian-Korean fusion taco truck meals at 1 a.m. yet. [30:53] Here’s the thing I want you to understand. [30:55] People with babies don’t eat out of food trucks at 1 a.m. [30:58] They don’t. [31:00] But here’s the insanity of our culture. [31:03] We are kicking the can of marriage down the line,

[31:07] which is a byproduct of sexual sin. [31:10] Just point blank. [31:12] If many of you guys would close your Internet browsers and get a better filter, [31:16] you’d get married sooner. [31:18] Believe that.

[31:22] Many of you say you don’t have enough money for a child and you have a $600 car payment. [31:29] Am I getting real with you? [31:33] Some of you need to sell your 2015 Toyota 4Runner. [31:39] Understand that there is no shame in driving a 96 Civic [31:43] because the car seat in the back says why you drive a 96 Civic.

[31:50] I would rather have my children than Korean Bosnian fusion food any day of the week. [31:59] My mac and cheese with my daughter out of the craft box [32:03] tastes good enough if I can have a conversation with a six-year-old. [32:08] It is selfishness and sin that leads you to the place [32:10] where you believe those types of experiences are better than obeying God [32:14] and being fruitful and multiplying.

[32:16] Some of you aren’t having babies because you can’t go on exotic vacations [32:20] if you have to buy one more plane ticket. [32:23] There’s no destination in this world that I would rather visit [32:27] than spend time with my three children. [32:31] The four best days of my life were the birth of my oldest, [32:35] the birth of my middle child, the birth of my youngest child, and my wedding day.

[32:40] Nothing will ever replace those things in my life. [32:44] You could not give me anything under the sun [32:49] that would ever give me the happiness, the joy, the glory, [32:54] the sanctifying power to follow Jesus [32:58] and depend on him more closely than every member of my family. [33:04] When Jesus told us in Matthew 28, I will never leave you or forsake you,

[33:08] he was telling us something that should be true of our lives as well, [33:11] where our families are concerned. [33:14] Some of you have misplaced affections. [33:19] And you think that if you kick the can down the road into your, [33:23] first you’ll say late 20s, then you’ll say early 30s, [33:28] then you’ll say middle 30s, then you’ll say late 30s,

[33:31] and then you’re in your 40s. [33:34] And you’re doing that because you’re saying this untrue reality, [33:38] well, I’ll be more mature later. I don’t think I’m more mature now. [33:42] I’ve never met someone who spent decades in selfishness, [33:48] lavishing yourself with all of the self-absorbed luxuries that you can get, [33:54] who came out on the other side less selfish,

[33:58] who came out on the other side living an immature lifestyle, [34:02] where you invest in just creature comforts [34:05] and things that are fun to occupy your time, [34:09] who was more mature on the other side of it. [34:12] But I have seen people who gave up childish things, [34:16] moved on to adult things, got a job, got married,

[34:21] got a savings account, had a couple of babies. [34:24] You want to mature? That’ll mature you real quick, buddy.

[34:31] Stop delaying maturity and invest in preparing yourself for a family. [34:39] Unless you believe God has called you to a type of mission in this life [34:45] that will make you need to be single, [34:48] no matter where you are, you need to begin now to prepare [34:53] for the future that God has for you. [34:56] That means some of you that are young and married,

[34:59] I’m going to speak to you, [35:02] and I think everybody later in life will agree with what I’m about to say, [35:05] you need to stop spending frivolously. [35:09] You need to eat out less. [35:11] You need to drive a cheaper car. [35:14] You need to stop having this vision that at 30,

[35:17] you need to have the same house that somebody who’s been able to invest [35:22] into their late 50s so they could buy a beautiful home [35:26] because they were smart with their money. [35:29] There’s a reason you can’t have that at 30. [35:31] You haven’t saved any money, ding-a-ling.

[35:38] You need to be smarter with your money so that you can stop making excuses [35:43] as to why you’re not building a family that God has designed for you to have. [35:49] You need to be smart with it. You need to prepare for the future. [35:53] Some of you guys will be blunt. [35:54] You need to sell that Xbox or that PlayStation. [35:58] You need to.

[35:58] And you say, oh, you can’t play video games? [36:01] Not as much as you probably do. [36:04] All right, if Friday night at 2 a.m. you’re playing video games,

[36:12] I don’t even know what to say after that. [36:15] That’s not just the meanest thing ever. [36:18] All right. You need to build a life that matters.

[36:25] And that’s not a sign of maturity. [36:27] I say that in love. I’m not saying that to belittle you. [36:32] I’m not saying that just to spite you or be mean to you. [36:35] I say this so that you can embrace gospel change [36:39] and become a mature contributing part of a societal flourishing family.

[36:49] Number three, building a family is worth the cost. [36:54] Building a family is worth the cost. [36:57] Ah, so much joy in my life.

[37:01] I read an article last week. [37:04] I think a lot of you probably read it. It was it was on the news and stuff. [37:07] Where there was this article written by someone that said that if you avoid having children, [37:13] which that’s not a that is not a a glorious statement to even posit [37:20] that if you avoid having a family, you will be able to save something like five hundred thousand more dollars in your lifetime. [37:26] And and you’ll yeah, maybe.

[37:30] And you’ll have a bigger house and a nicer car and be all alone.

[37:35] You see, there are natural revelations involved when you read something like that, [37:40] that if you look at it through a biblical lens, our culture propagates selfishness, which is always destructive.

[37:48] Selfishness never brings you to a place of flourishing and God wants you to flourish. [37:53] So if your main thought is, if I don’t have children, my bank account will be so big. [37:59] That’s not a godly thought. [38:02] It’s not. So many of you have a reductionistic view of discipleship and evangelism. [38:11] You see what God does in Genesis, Chapter one and then in four and then in Genesis nine, one after the fall, [38:19] after God has judged sin in the flood, he looks to Noah and he says, be fruitful, be fruitful and multiply.

[38:26] Why did he say that to Noah? He said it to Noah because he knew some people would say, well, [38:33] the be fruitful and multiply thing, that was a pre fall command. [38:37] And after the fall, we’re not responsible for that. Well, then why did he say it to Noah? [38:41] Why did he say it again to Abraham? Why did he again repeatedly say it to Israel? [38:45] And then in Matthew twenty eight, Jesus says, go make disciples. [38:51] The key that you need to understand is that that is part of the Dominion mandate and that God does want us to make disciples.

[38:58] But the most impactful discipleship that you will ever experience in your life is when you are obeying the original [39:06] Dominion mandate to be fruitful and multiply.

[39:10] I have an opportunity that people without children don’t have, and I don’t say that to slight anyone in here that is [39:19] I don’t know if you all understand why I’m talking about families and why that’s important, because God wanted Adam and Eve [39:25] to start something that he doesn’t want to stop even to this day. [39:29] He wants Jesus following Christians to have babies and then to evangelize to those babies. [39:38] You say, well, that sounds like brainwashing. No, it sounds like good parenting. [39:42] All right. Now, at a lesser level, it’s also why I teach them to use a commode.

[39:48] Is that brainwashing? Should I just let them pee all over the floor?

[39:55] I got to stop. I got to put the filter on.

[39:59] I’m going to hear from my wife when I get home. [40:02] She’s my filter, by the way. [40:05] So I think what’s what’s my wife going to say when I leave?

[40:10] You need to understand that we are to evangelize. I am to evangelize my children. [40:15] I am to teach them the Bible. I am to teach them how to follow Jesus. [40:20] I am to teach them that they need to repent of their sins. They need to put their faith in Jesus Christ. [40:25] Now, there’s no guarantee. [40:28] That they’re going to do it. [40:31] Only the sovereignty of God understands what’s going to happen to my children.

[40:34] But I will tell you, they should have a better chance of coming to faith in Jesus Christ than if I wasn’t a Christian. [40:40] Here’s what Deuteronomy chapter 11 says of the lifestyle that a Christian family should have. [40:46] Verse 18, it says, You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and your soul. [40:51] You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. [40:55] And that’s where many of us stop with our vision for discipleship. [40:59] But he goes on. You shall teach them to your children.

[41:03] So that’s why I say you have a reductionistic view of evangelism and discipleship.

[41:09] Our Christian life is always to have a vision for the next generation.

[41:15] That is why it is vital that we teach our children Christian worldviews. [41:19] That is why it is vital that we teach them how to think like Christians. [41:23] That we teach them to believe like Christians. [41:25] And he goes on. He says, You’ll teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, [41:32] when you are walking in the way, when you lie down and when your eyes. [41:35] That’s pretty exhaustive, isn’t it?

[41:38] So what he’s saying is any other lifestyle that does not lead to that being the normative culture and environment for your family [41:49] is to be wholesale rejected so that this can be true of your household. [41:56] Verse 20 is vital. I love verse 20. [42:00] He says, You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, and I’ll stop there. [42:04] Why does he say that?

[42:08] It’s an analogy. It’s a word picture. [42:11] I don’t think you need to go home. And if you want to, you can. [42:14] And like nail pieces of the Bible to your front door. [42:18] Really doesn’t make any sense in this culture.

[42:21] What he’s saying is, is that your property, so he says gates, your property marker. [42:29] Once you enter that, people should feel like they’re entering a Christian nation.

[42:34] When your children and your spouse walks into your house through that front door, they are entering into a discipleship environment. [42:47] For too many people, walking into the front gate and in the front door sparks fear.

[42:55] Because you know the dysfunction that you’re walking into. [42:58] You’re going to be belittled. [43:00] You’re going to be criticized. [43:01] You’re going to experience volatility in your mom and dad’s marriage that makes you scared that they’re going to leave one another.

[43:12] He’s saying that your home. [43:16] Should be so important to you. [43:20] That you do everything in your power, not just to make sure it is a safe place. [43:26] But to make sure it is a God centered Jesus following space where they’re not going to find perfection. [43:38] I think some people believe that I have a podium in my living room and pews and my instead of a TV, my kids sit there and I just expose it. [43:50] There would be a riot if I tried.

[43:54] Some of you have been in my house.

[43:57] Man, my three year old has an attention span that lasts about 15 to 20 seconds and that is the best day.

[44:05] Usually before family devotions are over, at least two of the three of my children have engaged in a body slam competition. [44:14] And sometimes my wife is involved.

[44:18] It’s a hard life guys.

[44:22] But there is no more glorious mess in my day.

[44:29] I love it. Sometimes I’ll be home, I’ll be eating or something and one of my kids will look at me and they’ll say, don’t forget prayer time tonight.

[44:40] I love it when my kids and I can hear them. They’ve memorized the doxology. [44:45] I love it when I hear Jesus loves me for the Bible tells me so. [44:53] Friends, what I’m talking about here is not this pretty plastic-y Christian-ese household. [45:00] I’m talking about a place where you are building a path at three, four, five, six so that the weeds won’t grow over it. [45:11] And so when they’re 15 and 16, you’re having to take a machete to clear the path for them. [45:17] I am sometimes scared about the future my kids are walking into because they’re going to make their own decisions.

[45:25] I live in the real world. My kids are going to disappoint me at some level, maybe even a very deep one. [45:31] I have no control over that. [45:33] But in my life, God has given me instruction to where he says, Steve, enter into this environment, engage, enjoy it and invest. [45:46] And then I just trust God. I just trust him. [45:51] But I will obey because I’m seeking to reform. [45:56] I’m seeking to recover. I’m seeking to restore.

[46:01] And the gospel of Jesus Christ, where we started, tells me I can.

[46:09] First, John 2.15, and then we’ll finish.

[46:13] Some of you don’t want what I’ve talked about today. [46:17] Some of you are proactively seeking to destroy it.

[46:24] I want to warn you. [46:27] First, John 2.15, the apostle says, Do not love the world or the things in the world. [46:33] If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. [46:37] Part of the problem with you not thanking family is the greatest thing in your life is that you love the world. [46:44] You love the things in the world, and you’re buying into all of the lies that the world is telling you.

[46:51] Friend, follow Jesus. He will lead you to this joy.

[46:59] I love my family.

[47:04] I used to hear people say they would die for their children, and I never really understood it until I had some kids. [47:11] I wouldn’t just die for my kids. I would gladly die for my kids. [47:18] For you to understand that level of joyous sacrifice, here’s what I’m talking about.

[47:26] Have some. [47:28] Then when you have one, go do the fun thing that will create two.

[47:33] Start sooner than later.

[47:38] Every week we reflect on the Word of God and communion. [47:41] I want to say this before we partake. [47:46] You cannot have anything I’ve said today without faith in Jesus Christ. [47:52] That’s why we started with the Gospel. [47:54] If you want reformation in your life, if you want restoration in your life, if you want reconciliation with Jesus, [48:01] you have to trust him as your Lord and Savior, and then build upon that grace towards the vision that he has for you.

[48:08] But if you do have it, the plate represents the broken body of Jesus, the cup represents his shed blood. [48:18] When we eat and when we drink, we proclaim to everyone around us, I have faith in Jesus. [48:25] And then when we walk away from that table, we exhibit that faith by seeking the things that God has designed us to seek. [48:35] That is my call to you today. When you’re ready, come.