How To Be A Husband.

Steve Gentry

[0:00] All right, go ahead and have a seat. Welcome to Village Church. [0:03] If this is your first time here. [0:05] My name’s Steve, one of the pastors here at Village Church. [0:07] And as always, I am thankful and grateful to see each and every one of you this morning. [0:12] If you have your Bibles, go ahead and open them up to Ephesians, Chapter five. [0:16] We’ll start reading in verse twenty three this morning.

[0:19] Over the past few weeks, if you haven’t been here or you need a little review, [0:23] we’ve been going through a series entitled Family. [0:26] Your mission starts here. [0:27] And we’ve been going for the first two weeks over what really is the great [0:32] commandment that Jesus gave, that we first love God with all of our heart, [0:37] our soul and our minds, and that in obedience to this command.

[0:42] Is the only way that we can ever truly love anyone, most specifically our family. [0:49] But the only way to really love any person is that if you love God more than that person. [0:54] And the fact of the matter is the scripture describes God to us. [0:57] It says that God is love. [0:59] That means he’s the definer of love. [1:00] That means he’s the basis of what love is.

[1:03] So in loving him, in seeking him, in trusting the gospel, his plan of salvation [1:09] through Jesus, then love will fill our lives and then pour over into the lives of others. [1:15] But if we’re not seeking God with all of who we are, [1:19] we can’t really, truly hope to love anyone. [1:22] And then Jesus says the second is like it to love your neighbor as yourself. [1:28] And that really that second command finds a home, finds its most meaning in our family.

[1:34] These are the people that for better or worse, will have the most impact [1:39] on who we are, who we become. [1:43] And that in loving our family, we begin to find a life [1:48] in which we can truly begin to love others. [1:50] And so we love our neighbor as ourselves. [1:53] That begins with our family.

[1:56] And today I want to begin for the next three Sundays, including today, [1:59] unpacking each specific part of how that’s going to work today. [2:04] I want to talk specifically to the men. [2:06] I want to speak to the husbands. [2:08] Next Sunday, I want to speak to the wives, to the women. [2:11] And then the following Sunday, the final Sunday of this series,

[2:13] I want to talk about how to raise children. [2:16] I want to talk to the kids. [2:17] But specifically, I want to talk to the parents who are raising those children. [2:23] And so today where we find ourselves with husbands, [2:26] as I use this example last week, is that if you look at the family as a machine, [2:31] which I think is a good analogy,

[2:33] that you’re calling to function within that machine is not dependent on another part. [2:38] In other words, if you’re a husband and you have a wife [2:41] that isn’t following God in her life, that doesn’t give you an excuse to not follow God. [2:48] God’s calling in your life is not deterred by anyone else.

[2:56] But when one part of the family is not obeying God, [3:00] if that part of the machine is not malfunctioning, it will then. [3:05] Affect everything else. [3:07] If you’re driving in a car and one part of your engine isn’t functioning properly, [3:11] even if every other part is functioning right, [3:13] it’s going to affect how the engine as a whole functions.

[3:18] And so today I specifically want to talk about one part of the family, [3:22] and that is the husband. [3:23] I want to talk to the men. [3:24] And the viewpoint that I’m going to comment this morning is that the husband [3:29] and the father, the men, or if you’re going to become a husband and father someday, [3:34] I’m speaking to you to you’re not out of this either.

[3:36] You are the most influential member of the family.

[3:42] Focus on the family did some research a number of years ago, [3:47] and they looked over hundreds of churches, hundreds of different ministries, [3:50] and found that when the husband or father [3:54] is the first member of the family to come to faith in Jesus Christ, [3:59] 93 percent of the time, the rest of the family will come to faith as well. [4:03] But when the wife or mother is the first member of the family

[4:07] to come to faith in Jesus, 17 percent of the time, [4:12] the rest of the family follows. [4:14] And we see through statistics like this that just by nature [4:18] of the way God has designed us, that men [4:22] wield a great deal of influence on their families, [4:26] specifically in the area of faith.

[4:29] And the reason for that is by design. [4:33] Look in Ephesians, chapter five, starting in verse twenty three. [4:37] For the husband is the head of the wife, [4:40] even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself its savior. [4:45] Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit [4:49] in everything to their husbands, husbands, love your wives.

[4:53] As Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, [4:57] that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water [5:01] with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor [5:06] without spot or wrinkle or any such thing that she might be holy [5:10] and without blemish in the same way husbands should love their wives [5:14] as their own bodies.

[5:16] He who loves his wife loves himself [5:19] for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it. [5:24] Just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. [5:30] Pray with me. [5:33] Father, we come before you [5:35] as a church this morning and I come before you asking for strength.

[5:41] But as the events of this week unfold, we find ourselves [5:45] longing for a kingdom.

[5:48] In which there is no suffering, there is no pain.

[5:53] Lord, I ask that for the next few moments that you would direct my words [5:57] or that you would open our hearts, open our minds, Holy Spirit, [6:01] communicate the gospel to us, help us to be teachable. [6:05] Lord, I pray that you would give me words and help me to stay faithful to your word. [6:10] In the name of Jesus, I pray, amen.

[6:15] As we start this morning, [6:16] the first thing that we have to understand is we unpack the husband’s role [6:20] in the family is that the husband is the head of the family. [6:25] The husband is the head of the family.

[6:29] Now, this is going to go against [6:32] many places where culture would desire to take us, where the family is concerned. [6:37] But as we saw for the past two weeks, that where God has spoken [6:41] or where God has designed something, if we find ourselves in disagreement [6:45] or the culture within which we live finds itself in disagreement with God, [6:50] it is not because God is wrong, it is because we are wrong.

[6:55] As sinful beings, we are always on the side of error. [6:59] God is never on the side of error as he is perfect. [7:02] And his design for the family does not depend on the way [7:07] the culture around it would define the family. [7:10] The way in which he designed the family is not a first found here in Ephesians, [7:14] Chapter five, but rather Ephesians five is jumping off of the way God

[7:18] designed the family in Genesis chapters one and two. [7:22] That God set up the male as the head of the husband [7:26] and wife routine from the very beginning. [7:29] When he began to create Adam, he created him out of the dust of the ground, [7:34] formed him, and then he looked to Adam. [7:36] And as Adam was naming all of the animals, he said there was not a helper

[7:41] suited for him, therefore he made a deep sleep, [7:44] fall on Adam and then took out of Adam a rib and formed Eve. [7:48] And then Adam was to name Eve. [7:51] And he said, I will name her woman for out of man, she came. [7:55] So you see right there in the original created order, [7:58] we find male headship in the scripture that Eve was excuse me,

[8:02] that Eve was created for Adam. [8:04] Adam was not created for Eve. [8:07] Then in Genesis chapter one, excuse me, in Genesis chapter two, [8:11] when he ends, he closes and he says, and the man shall leave his father [8:15] and mother and cleave unto his wife. [8:18] And so what Paul is doing here is he is reiterating the original

[8:23] created order of marriage. [8:25] And he is saying that it is the husband that is the head of the wife [8:29] and understand that God’s design may require for us to change our perspective.

[8:37] That if we have been raised and even preconditioned to see [8:41] the way in which marriage works or the roles in which the husband and wife [8:46] maintain in a way differently than God would have it, [8:51] then we must change our perspective to align our view with God’s view. [8:57] Any other way is wrong. [9:01] It is not progressive to go against God’s design.

[9:05] It is condemning to go against God’s design, [9:09] because that is rebellion against God. [9:11] And where we see rebellion against God, we see condemnation. [9:15] Therefore, it’s imperative for us to see the family [9:18] and see our roles within the family in the way that God designed it. [9:24] There’s a way of looking at this passage, and some have said

[9:27] that Paul is simply looking at the way Rome had family set up [9:32] in the way it was spreading across Roman society and Roman civilization in that day. [9:37] And that would have merit if Rome was the example [9:41] that Paul uses to describe the reason for the headship. [9:44] But the reason that Paul uses is the gospel of Jesus. [9:49] And so when he infers that the husband is the head of the wife,

[9:53] as Christ is the head of the church, he’s giving a timeless example. [9:58] He’s giving an eternal example, the example of the gospel of Jesus Christ. [10:03] Therefore, as God has instituted that the husband is to be the head of the family, [10:09] we too must seek to fall into submission to God’s design. [10:15] This is the only way of having faith in God. [10:18] Anything else will be to go against God’s design.

[10:21] And so today, I specifically want to speak to. [10:25] The men speak to the husband’s view within this, [10:29] because there are some wrong ways to view this. [10:33] The first way is to misunderstand what Paul is saying here [10:37] and thinking that there is a way in which you can opt out [10:41] of being the head of your family.

[10:44] There is no opt out. [10:46] Note that he does not say the husband ought to be the head of the wife. [10:52] No, he says the husband is the head of the wife. [10:56] So the question isn’t husband, are you leading your family? [10:58] The question is, are you leading them well, are you leading them poorly [11:02] to abdicate your responsibility to someone else, to something else,

[11:06] or simply to excuse yourself from this role does not mean [11:09] you’re not leading your family. [11:10] It just means you’re not leading your family well. [11:13] Understand that the way in which God designed the family is concrete [11:18] and you are leading somewhere. [11:22] This is not an imperative statement.

[11:25] This is not a command by God. [11:27] This is a declarative statement that God is declaring the way [11:31] that something simply is. [11:33] And so the husband is the head of his family. [11:40] And then another wrong way to see this is to understand [11:43] that male headship is a way to be chauvinistic

[11:46] or a way to exert your own tyranny over your family. [11:50] Well, this is a vast misunderstanding as to what God means [11:54] by the fact that the husband is the head of the wife, [11:56] and it likens back to the original cultural mandate [12:00] or the dominion mandate from Genesis, Chapter one, [12:03] where God looks to Adam and Eve and he says,

[12:06] Be fruitful and multiply and then exert dominion over the earth. [12:12] Now, what God did not mean was, Adam, you have dominion over the earth. [12:17] Do whatever you want. [12:18] And so Adam could just simply bulldoze the whole thing [12:21] and pave the earth if he wanted to and exert terrible tyrannical dominion [12:26] over the earth. No. How did he begin it?

[12:27] He said, Be fruitful. Multiply. [12:31] He called Adam and Eve, specifically Adam as the head, [12:34] to be a caring steward over creation, [12:38] to steward it in such a way that it would be a vast wilderness [12:42] to grow and look as the way that God does when he creates and when he multiplies. [12:50] So we must see our role within the family the same way.

[12:54] You are not to be a tyrant. [12:57] You are to be a caring steward. [13:01] Seeking that your family would be fruitful and multiply. [13:05] This is not a call for you to hold your wife or your children in subservience, [13:11] but rather note the example that he uses. [13:14] Says you are the head of the family as Christ is the head of the church.

[13:19] You’re to love your family as Christ loved the church. [13:23] How did Jesus love the church? [13:25] Well, he gave his very life for the church [13:29] before he goes to the cross. [13:32] Jesus gets on his hands and knees before the disciples [13:36] and he begins to wash their feet and Peter misunderstanding what his point was,

[13:41] says, Lord, basically, you’re too good for this. [13:44] You shouldn’t have to clean my feet. [13:46] And Jesus looks to Peter and he says, Peter, if I don’t do this, [13:49] then you will have no part of me. [13:53] He’s communicating that we are to serve as Jesus or husbands. [13:58] You are to serve your family.

[14:01] You are to sacrifice as Jesus sacrificed for his family. [14:06] Your family is the most important aspect of your practical life on this earth. [14:12] And how you serve and sacrifice for your family [14:15] will determine the direction of your family. [14:18] You are to die daily. [14:21] For your family, you’re to put the family’s needs in front of your needs.

[14:26] Jesus did not look and say, why don’t you do things better for me? [14:30] No, Jesus looked and he said, I will sacrifice myself for you.

[14:37] Jesus gave, Jesus cared, Jesus produced. [14:42] Jesus was fruitful. [14:43] Jesus multiplied. [14:45] Understand that you are to through your being a husband and father, [14:48] provide a picture of Jesus to your family. [14:53] As we saw, the male headship in the family has been there from the beginning.

[15:00] Therefore, he uses the example for us to understand that marriage, [15:06] even from the beginning, served as a prophecy and as a picture [15:10] of the way that Jesus was going to love the church [15:14] and that the husband specifically sits in the seat [15:17] of being a picture through his life of who Jesus is. [15:22] And so the way in which you serve, the way in which you sacrifice,

[15:25] the way in which you love or the way in which you rebel against those things [15:29] will give a picture of Jesus to your family. [15:33] And then through the way that you love your family, [15:35] you give a picture of Jesus to the rest of the world. [15:40] A man must love his wife sacrificially. [15:45] Is incumbent for husbands to lead as Jesus led.

[15:49] Jesus served, therefore we serve. [15:53] Jesus gave, therefore we give. [15:56] Jesus sacrificed his life, therefore we sacrifice our lives. [16:00] We give our all for them.

[16:05] All of this goes for us to lead our family into the life of the gospel. [16:10] If you wield this calling to authority [16:13] as a chauvinist in an attempt to keep your wife and family subservient, [16:18] then you are sinning because you’re not leading them to Jesus. [16:22] You’re leading them to yourself. [16:24] You’re setting yourself up as God.

[16:27] And God is no chauvinist. [16:29] And the full responsibility for the family following Jesus falls on the husband.

[16:36] So as a husband, when you begin to respond [16:38] and you begin to look at life and you say, well, my wife is not meeting my needs. [16:44] The responsibility for that falls first on you. [16:48] And so you need to first, when you begin to think that way, [16:50] look into the mirror and ask yourself, why am I not inspiring her? [16:55] To meet so-called needs.

[16:58] When you live in selfishness, you may inspire others to selfishness as well. [17:04] So anywhere in which your family is failing, [17:07] you first need to look at yourself as the leader, [17:10] because everything rises and falls on leadership. [17:13] Therefore, where your family begins to fail, you must first say, where am I? [17:17] Failing and leading my family.

[17:20] Number two, this morning, the husband disciples his family. [17:25] The husband disciples his family. [17:28] Too often in our culture throughout the world, we have a serious issue [17:33] even inside of the church, that is with male leadership, [17:37] because we have abdicated the responsibility to disciple our wives [17:41] and to even disciple our children to our wives.

[17:44] Therefore, discipleship has taken somewhat of a feminine appeal. [17:48] And men don’t look at discipleship as masculine. [17:51] So instead, they look to their wives and they say, [17:53] well, it’s your responsibility to follow Jesus for the family. [17:56] This is not the way in which God envisioned it. [17:58] If you are the representative of Jesus in your family,

[18:01] then it is necessary for you to be the discipler of your family. [18:05] And even if you’re avoiding that call, understand you are discipling your family. [18:11] Just as you are leading your family, you’re either discipling them [18:13] well or you’re discipling them poorly. [18:16] You’re either discipling them towards Jesus or you’re discipling them [18:18] towards something or someone else.

[18:22] Look in verse twenty five. [18:25] Verse twenty five, the apostle Paul writes, he says, husbands love your wives [18:30] as Christ loved the church and gave himself for that he might sanctify her, [18:35] having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. [18:39] So he looks to the cross and he said, Jesus, his whole hope [18:43] in the cross is that he would redeem for himself a people, the church,

[18:47] and then he would, through that redemption, sanctify them or set them apart [18:50] from the world, grow them in their godliness, [18:54] grow them in their relationship with himself. [18:56] And then he looks to the husband and he says, husband, [18:58] it is your responsibility to do this for your wife [19:01] and then by default for your family as well.

[19:05] But note where he begins, he says, with the word. [19:10] And so understand this morning that oftentimes I am asked [19:14] and I think with great frustration from some people beforehand [19:17] and then with my response, they’ll say, how do I grow in my relationship with Jesus? [19:24] How what are what is the secret? [19:27] As if God has made it mysterious.

[19:28] And I’ll often respond, there is no secret. [19:32] Are you reading his word? [19:33] Are you spending time in prayer? [19:36] And then often with great frustration, they’ll walk away as if that’s [19:38] just too difficult to maintain. [19:41] But understand this morning that the scripture is the way

[19:44] in which God has designed us to get closer to him. [19:47] He even says specifically in this text, do you want hope for your wife [19:50] to follow Jesus? [19:52] Watch her in the word. [19:54] There’s no secret. [19:55] There’s no mystic way to God.

[19:58] So the scripture and it’s through prayer. [20:01] And so there’s three ways that I want to unpack this morning [20:04] for you to disciple your family well. [20:06] And it starts, number one, know the word, know the Bible, [20:12] men read it, memorize it, study it. [20:16] And what’s interesting to me is that oftentimes people will come to me

[20:19] and they’ll just say, well, I have tried and it’s just I can’t do it. [20:24] And in the same conversation or one conversation next, [20:27] I will see that you have memorized the entire roster of the Washington [20:31] Redskins. You have memorized every stat. [20:34] You have memorized every play. [20:36] You’ve memorized every hole on a golf course.

[20:39] You’ve memorized everything Tiger Woods has ever done. [20:42] You’ve memorized so much that some of you have this great knowledge [20:46] of construction and build things I can never imagine. [20:48] Some of you can tell me every single part of an engine. [20:51] Some of you can recite to me every single line from dodgeball. [20:55] And then you will look to me and you will say, I’m just not the studious type.

[21:01] I’m not a reader.

[21:05] Men. None of those things are true. [21:09] Frankly, it’s just that your values and your desires have taken you elsewhere.

[21:17] That which you value is that which you study, [21:20] that which you value is that which you pour your life into. [21:22] And the understand that we must be honest, the problem is not the Bible. [21:27] The problem is us.

[21:30] The problem is not that God could have written a better book. [21:34] The problem is, is that we are refusing to repent of sin that keeps us [21:38] from the book. Knowing the word.

[21:44] Means that you must discipline yourself [21:48] to sit down, read it.

[21:52] Even the hard parts.

[21:56] And when you struggle. [21:58] Frankly, you push through. [22:01] Because in the end, it will produce joy, because here’s what we’re saying. [22:05] We believe that God can raise the dead, but we don’t believe that God can make us [22:09] learn his word.

[22:11] And then you memorize the word so that it’s in your speech. [22:16] There’s no secret to scripture memory. [22:17] You know, the way you know, the way you memorized for high school, [22:20] did tests for high school, you memorize things. [22:22] And it hasn’t changed since high school. [22:25] You still just pour over it over and over again.

[22:28] You read it, you memorize it, you read it again, you memorize it some more.

[22:34] And then when you get to those parts.

[22:37] You say, I have no idea what that means, because it’s all true, [22:40] but it ain’t all clear. I’ll be honest about that. [22:43] There’s some difficult parts. [22:45] Well, we’ve got in our age [22:48] more information available to us than we’ve ever had before. [22:52] Did you know that your pocket, most of your pockets have a phone in it

[22:57] that can literally find all the information ever about anything?

[23:03] And we have reduced that to just simply using it for social media. [23:08] There’s this amazing thing that you can do [23:10] rather than Google sports figures. [23:13] Why don’t you Google that verse? [23:15] And yeah, you’ll find some erroneous things out there, [23:17] but you might just find some help.

[23:20] Study the word. [23:23] Don’t just read it. [23:24] Don’t just memorize it. Study it. [23:27] You know, you may never be a vocational theologian. [23:31] You may never do it as a career, but understand that every husband [23:34] and father in here is to be his family’s resident theologian.

[23:40] And first Corinthians.

[23:42] Chapter 14, verse 35, Paul says this [23:45] and speaking to the church at Corinth and correcting them, he says, [23:48] if there is anything they desire to learn, speaking of wives, [23:52] it says, let them ask their husbands at home for it is shameful [23:55] for a woman to speak in church. [23:57] Now, I’m not going to deal with that last part right now,

[23:59] other than to say he’s not talking about conversations in the foyer. [24:02] You don’t have to be quiet when you come in here. All right. [24:05] But here’s what he is saying. [24:06] He’s correcting an error that’s happened within the church. [24:09] And he’s saying that when the wife has questions about God, [24:14] her first step in finding the answer should be her husband.

[24:19] Too many of us have farmed out [24:22] theology to what we would call professionals or what we would call the experts. [24:27] When God has called each and every man in here to study his word, [24:31] treasure his word and find joy in his word, [24:36] men need to know the Bible. [24:38] We must see this as more necessary than other parts of our lives.

[24:44] You may need to stop memorizing other things and start memorizing godly things.

[24:52] Secondly, knowing the word isn’t enough.

[24:55] Secondly, you need to live the word. [24:57] You can have all the knowledge in the world, [24:59] but if it is not translating into your life, you will not disciple your family. [25:03] Well, Ephesians five twenty seven gives the responsibility of specifically [25:09] loving your wife in regards to her relationship with Christ. [25:12] But then he branches out with the entire family through chapter six.

[25:17] How can you hope to sanctify your wife and your children [25:20] if you yourself are not living a sanctified life? [25:22] Sanctified simply means set apart for obedience in this regard, [25:27] that what you see in the Bible, what God has called you towards in the Bible, [25:32] the character, the integrity, the passion for Jesus, [25:36] the life of mission, that you are to live it.

[25:39] You are to change your life in accordance to what God says in the Bible.

[25:47] Don’t just talk about obeying Jesus as if it is theory. [25:51] Instead, do it because we have an issue where we’ll even get groups of people together [25:56] and we will see what God has called us to. [25:59] We’ll read books about the Bible. [26:01] We’ll read the Bible and we’ll say God has called us to this. [26:04] And then we’ll even reduce it to a laughing matter when we say,

[26:06] how are you doing about that thing? [26:07] Yeah, me neither.

[26:11] We should be filled with shame in that regard. [26:13] Where we see God wants us to change our lives, we must change our lives. [26:17] And if we do not, if we know what is the right thing to do and we don’t do it, [26:22] it is sin.

[26:25] Therefore, don’t just know it, live it. [26:27] And then thirdly, don’t just live it. Teach it. [26:31] The first way in which you teach your family, the Bible is through your lifestyle. [26:36] Put your family and yourself in environments where you are obeying Jesus. [26:42] And then what’s very incumbent for the man to do in the household is for his family to see him, [26:48] to observe him obeying Jesus.

[26:53] Your family needs to see you doing more than tinkering with trinkets.

[26:58] Your family needs to see you doing more than watching TV. [27:02] Your family needs to see you doing more than pouring yourself into a hobby.

[27:07] Your family needs to see you obeying Jesus. [27:10] You are teaching your family something by your lifestyle. [27:15] The question is, what are you teaching them? [27:18] Are you teaching them integrity? Are you teaching them character? [27:21] Are you teaching them faithfulness or are you teaching them disobedience and faithlessness?

[27:28] But you don’t just teach by your actions. [27:31] You teach with communication. [27:34] You teach with words. [27:36] And it’s not enough to say, well, I’m the strong, silent type.

[27:41] Yeah, I’m not asking you to get in front of a crowd. [27:43] I’m asking you to get in front of your family. [27:46] Your family is begging you to teach them. [27:48] If you just simply would, you must communicate in order to teach. [27:53] It is imperative that you see your family. [27:56] As someone that needs to teach.

[27:58] Fathers, you have no idea. [28:01] The impact that it has on your children when they see the word of God open [28:07] in your lap and you reading it, it is a living picture [28:11] that they will take with themselves as to what my father values. [28:15] They need to see more than just an open newspaper or magazine. [28:19] They need to see more than just you watching TV.

[28:22] They need to see you in the word. [28:24] And then there’s nothing greater than the father that says family, wife, [28:28] children, why don’t you all come over and let’s read the scriptures together. [28:33] Let’s be in the word together. [28:37] And this does not have to be a complicated thing.

[28:41] You do not have to have all the answers, because here’s the key. [28:44] And I’ve said this before, it’s going to be awkward at first. [28:49] Because for many of us, [28:50] it’s something that we’ve never done with our families before, [28:52] and it’s just going to feel weird because you’re afraid [28:54] that they’ll ask you a question that you don’t know the answer to,

[28:57] or you’re afraid that you’ll get to a sentimental moment [28:59] and you won’t know what to say, you won’t know what to do. [29:02] But that’s OK. [29:05] If you never embrace those awkward moments, [29:08] you will never get over those awkward moments. [29:12] Embrace the awkward.

[29:13] And I’m preaching to myself here because it can be very awkward. [29:18] Be very strange.

[29:22] This isn’t about giving a sermon. [29:25] This is just about trusting God with his word. [29:28] There are so many good devotional books available for the family. [29:31] And that’s the way that I’m doing it right now. [29:34] I need the questions and answers. [29:36] I don’t want to come up with them either.

[29:39] And this isn’t about an hour, 10 minutes, the younger your kids, [29:43] the less time they’re going to give you with a two year old. [29:46] You got about 60 seconds before toys are being thrown.

[29:52] But simply sit down, read the word with your family, [29:57] spend time in family worship, set that time aside [30:02] and do your best to be consistent with that time [30:06] because your family needs you to disciple them. [30:10] Your family needs you to teach them. [30:13] It will be hard to start and it will be awkward.

[30:17] But you need to begin somewhere just like anything else in life. [30:21] When you start doing it, it’s going to be shaky. [30:25] But we need to teach our families the word. [30:28] We need to be in the word.

[30:32] Seven thirty at night or whenever you can get to it. [30:35] Your family needs to know that’s when we’re in the word together. [30:39] Set those standards. [30:42] Thirdly, this morning, the husband leads [30:45] the mission of the family. [30:47] The husband leads the mission of the family.

[30:49] Look in verse twenty eight with me.

[30:54] In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. [30:57] He who loves his wife, loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh, [31:01] but nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ does the church, [31:05] because we are members of his body. [31:10] You know, Jesus is our victory in life. [31:12] Jesus takes us and he justifies us.

[31:14] He washes us completely clean and we look to him as the one who does that. [31:19] But he’s more than that, too. [31:20] He’s also our example. [31:24] And specifically for the husband, Jesus is a great example [31:27] of taking responsibility. [31:31] You never saw Jesus shirk his responsibility.

[31:35] The greatest example of that is in the Garden of Gethsemane, [31:38] when Jesus is facing the cross and looks to his father and he says, [31:42] if there be any other way, let this cup pass for me. [31:44] But then he finishes, he says, not my will, but yours be done. [31:48] The responsibility of saving the church fell upon the shoulders of Jesus. [31:53] And Jesus took that responsibility.

[31:56] And that’s what that text drives us towards. [31:58] It’s what it wants us to understand that this is what Jesus has done. [32:02] And this is the example that fathers and husbands [32:04] must follow for their families. [32:08] Jesus wasn’t a consumer. [32:11] Jesus was a producer and a giver.

[32:14] He served and he was not selfish. [32:17] Jesus thought of others rather than just him self. [32:22] Husbands, do not look at your family as people that need to meet your needs, [32:27] people that need to fill you. [32:29] You look to God and say, God, you fill me and then I will fill my family. [32:33] And then through that, you will be filled by them.

[32:36] But the standard starts with you. [32:39] The example begins with you. [32:41] The responsibility begins with you, because that is the way in which God has [32:45] designed for husbands and fathers to lead their families. [32:49] We looked a few weeks ago at the husband’s responsibility [32:51] to provide material and spiritually for his family.

[32:55] And I think the gospel call is lost on many men, [32:59] even though it is the primary call. [33:02] You see, we look at the way in which we supply for our families [33:06] and we look at things like career and we look at things like vocation. [33:11] And we wonder why it is that our vocations are not satisfying us, [33:15] why it is that we can’t get the satisfaction even from vocations

[33:18] that we thought would give us great satisfaction. [33:21] We still find ourselves struggling. [33:23] And I think the answer is at the root of the term vocation. [33:27] You know, the root of vocation is just a simple term, voco. [33:30] And it literally means I call.

[33:34] Your vocation is a calling. [33:38] Your vocation is a calling that you’re looking for, [33:40] but you’re looking in all the wrong places. [33:42] Your career will never satisfy you. [33:45] But you know what will? [33:46] The call of God on your life,

[33:48] the call of God first and primarily in the gospel. [33:52] The gospel will satisfy you. [33:55] But secondly, there are things that branch out of the gospel [33:58] that God has called us towards. [34:00] The most specific in this section is the calling to God. [34:03] To lead a family.

[34:04] That is your primary vocation. [34:06] That is your primary career. [34:08] That is your primary calling. [34:10] And understand that you’re going to have to live in some tension [34:14] where this is concerned. [34:17] Because God has called us to provide.

[34:19] God has called us to work. [34:22] And God has called us to teach our family a good work ethic. [34:27] My desire is for all of the men in here to do well in their careers. [34:30] My desire is for all of the men in here to excel in their careers [34:34] and teach their families a strong work ethic. [34:37] But understand that there needs to be attention, excuse me,

[34:40] attention inside of your career that you’re wondering, [34:43] am I finding my identity in my job? [34:46] Am I trying to find what I can only find in Jesus through my career [34:50] and in that shirking the responsibilities that God has made clear in my family? [34:55] And if so, you need to live in that tension [34:58] and fight the urge to rebel against God so that you can be present for your families.

[35:06] Your children need you there, fathers.

[35:10] Don’t shirk that responsibility and just throw it on the mother. [35:14] But you be there. [35:16] You disciple your family. [35:18] You lead your family.

[35:21] We do this in a few ways. [35:23] And I just want to unpack some practical things that we can live this in. [35:27] First, fathers, commit.

[35:33] Commit to following Jesus.

[35:37] Then commit to loving your family. [35:40] Commit to being faithful to your family. [35:44] Men, you commit to never, ever, ever walk away from your family. [35:51] Commit to being there. [35:53] Commit to faithfulness to your wife and your children. [35:56] Commit to purity in your relationship.

[36:00] Men commit to leading them towards Jesus [36:06] and not towards a false God. [36:08] You commit to having integrity where your family is concerned.

[36:15] Do you know that you husbands, fathers, you drive the commitments [36:19] that your family takes?

[36:22] The question this morning needs to be for you is, is what am I committing [36:26] than my family to? [36:28] Are you committing your family to things that’s going to keep them away [36:32] from a relationship with Jesus that’s going to deter them [36:35] from following Jesus with their all? [36:37] You know, there are a million things that you can commit yourself

[36:40] and your family to out there. [36:42] Most of them, you should not. [36:45] And I know that’s counterintuitive to everything the culture will tell you. [36:49] They want you to commit to everything under the sun from 4H to the Shriners. [36:54] They want you to commit to everything. [36:57] But here’s the key.

[36:58] Most of them are not helpful in getting your family to Jesus. [37:04] You need to get your family to commit to less outside of the church, not more.

[37:11] Because their first priority must always be seen as Jesus and not other things. [37:17] What you are committing yourself to or your family to. [37:22] It can and will hinder their relationship with Jesus [37:26] if they see those commitments as a deterrence to entering into environments [37:31] where they can learn to follow Jesus. [37:34] And the best way to answer that is, is how often do you have to say no

[37:39] to things that, you know, will get your family closer to Jesus [37:41] because you’ve committed yourself somewhere else [37:43] other than environments to follow Jesus? [37:48] Secondly, encourage your family, husbands and fathers. [37:54] How do you speak to your wife?

[37:58] How do you speak to your children? [38:01] Do you encourage them or do they only hear from you when something is wrong? [38:07] Do you encourage them in their relationship with Jesus [38:09] or do you encourage them towards things that will keep them from Jesus?

[38:16] Encourage your family. [38:18] You know, first Peter three, seven, we have a bit of a controversial verse, [38:21] but I don’t think it should be. [38:24] Here’s what the apostle Peter says. [38:26] He says, Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, [38:30] showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel.

[38:32] That’s the controversial part. [38:35] Since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, [38:38] so that your prayers may not be hindered. [38:41] But when you look at the end of their. [38:43] Here’s what the apostle Paul says. [38:44] He says that your relationship with your wife

[38:48] can hinder your relationship with Jesus, [38:52] and it will if you don’t lead in an understanding way. [38:55] And here’s the picture that he’s using. [38:57] The terminology he uses here is a terminology that was used in pottery [39:01] or in pottery that was fine art. [39:04] Now, if you know as much about fine art as I do,

[39:06] that means you know absolutely nothing. [39:08] But I did know that he’s not talking about the type of pottery [39:11] and the type of vases here that I would buy [39:14] because they would either be at Target or Wal-Mart. [39:16] He’s talking about things that actually cost a substantial amount of money. [39:19] Art that is worth a lot of money.

[39:21] And he says that that type of pottery or that type of vase, [39:24] you would not just pick it up with your bare hands [39:26] and then place it and set it somewhere else, [39:29] because you know that your hands are dirty, [39:31] they’re oily and they have all sorts of things that could hurt that type of vase. [39:35] And so first, what you would do is you would put these fine gloves on

[39:39] and then you would carefully pick it up [39:40] and then you would carefully treat it as if something that would break in your hands [39:44] and then you would place it very softly and carefully somewhere else. [39:48] He’s saying, husbands, this is the way in which you need to love your wives. [39:52] This is the way in which you need to lead your wives. [39:56] Understand.

[39:58] That you can break her with your words. [40:02] You know, this is a this is a verse that I needed to repent of greatly [40:05] in my first year of marriage, because I had been through college [40:08] and then I had been through graduate school [40:09] and I had lived with my buddies that whole time. [40:12] So in my first year of marriage, I just defaulted to the relationship advice

[40:16] that I’d always learned amongst my buddies. [40:18] And I began to treat my wife as just one of my buddies. [40:22] And that did not a happy wife make at all. [40:25] And so I had to learn that she’s not one of my buds. [40:30] Now, I need to live with her in an understanding way. [40:33] I need to deal with her in love.

[40:35] I need to deal with her in great care.

[40:41] Do you encourage your wife?

[40:46] How do you treat her? [40:48] How do you care for her? [40:51] Do you acknowledge her successes or do you just remind her of her failures?

[40:58] Do you tell her she’s beautiful? [41:00] Do you tell her that you love her? [41:03] How about your kids? [41:04] Do you tell your daughter she’s the most beautiful girl in the world? [41:09] Do you tell your son he’s the strongest guy you know? [41:13] Are you encouraging them?

[41:16] Father’s husbands, that’s a responsibility that we live with. [41:20] That’s the way we care for our families. [41:22] We are not to be tyrants. [41:23] We are to repent of such a false way of understanding the scriptures. [41:28] We’re to love our families.

[41:32] Husbands, fathers, be fun. [41:36] Be fun. [41:38] Too often we equate gospel centered lifestyles with stoic boredom. [41:43] Dads, you need to be fun for the sake of your family. [41:46] You need to play with your kids. [41:48] You don’t need to look at yourself as just a glorified daycare worker who watches them play.

[41:53] You need to get down and play with them. [41:55] You need to do fun things with them. [41:57] You need to take them with you whenever you can. [41:59] You need to take the day off, take them to a theme park. [42:02] For the younger there, just take them in a front yard. [42:03] A stick is fun for hours and it is quite economical fun.

[42:11] When you’re doing a home project, don’t just see them as a nuisance. [42:17] See them as a way to teach, a way to spend time. [42:20] Yeah, the project is going to take longer. [42:24] But sometimes you need to let your son carry the hammer and your daughter carry the measuring tape. [42:30] If you’re as good of a handyman as me, the daughter carries the duct tape. [42:32] That’s how most things get fixed.

[42:36] But the key is, is how do you view your family? [42:40] If you view them as nothing but something that gets in the way of your accomplishments, [42:44] then you need to repent of that. [42:47] It is a great responsibility that God has given us to love and cherish and lead our families.

[42:54] Next, you need to correct where wrongs are. [42:59] Think about this. [43:00] It’s always easier to be corrected by someone who has built relational equity in your life. [43:07] Someone that is committed, encouraging, and has fun with me is a lot more likely to be able to correct me [43:15] when I’m wrong than someone else.

[43:19] Maybe part of the problem, the way your family responds to you is that they don’t see you as that committed. [43:24] They don’t see you as that encouraging and they don’t see you as that much fun. [43:28] You’re just the one that keeps them in line.

[43:32] But husbands, is your wife the primary disciplinarian in your family? [43:37] If so, step up.

[43:41] When your children disrespect your wife, do you let her correct them or are you firm in your rebuke?

[43:48] Husbands, lead your families. [43:50] Finally, repent often. [43:53] You know that the husband and father needs to be the primary repenter in the family. [43:58] Verse 30, when he says that we are members of Jesus’s body, reminds us and connects us to our understanding [44:06] of why we love our families as our own lives. [44:09] Your family is a part of who you are.

[44:12] That’s how you must view them. [44:15] First, that makes walking away almost impossible. [44:19] It empties you then of all selfishness. [44:22] It makes you take inventory of your life frequently. [44:27] When you see wrong in your family, you first need to take inventory of your own life and say, [44:33] where have I contributed to this wrong?

[44:35] And how do I need to correct myself? [44:37] How do I need to let the gospel flow over me and right the ship? [44:43] Then you look to your family and you say, I don’t know how we got where we are, or maybe I do know how we got [44:49] we where we are, but we’re going to repent of it.

[44:53] And I’m taking the blame.

[44:56] Husbands, stop fixing blame anywhere else. [45:00] Let it fall squarely on the man in the mirror. [45:03] Repent of your sins often. [45:06] Take inventory of where you are in life often, because it’s all about Jesus. [45:13] Wherever corrections need to be made, let it be made. [45:18] May it happen sooner than later.

[45:21] You know, the gospel gives us hope of change.

[45:28] And husbands, fathers, wherever you are right now, [45:32] I know we’ve got all sorts of backgrounds in here, all sorts of places where you are. [45:36] But wherever you are, whatever your age,

[45:40] hope isn’t gone. [45:42] So long as Jesus is still alive, there’s still hope. [45:46] And guess what? He’ll be alive forever.

[45:49] Wherever you are, whether it’s been through a period of obedience [45:53] or if you’re in a tough season where you know you’re not leading well, [45:56] look to the cross for hope and understand that every wrong thing you’ve done [46:01] is on the cross. [46:04] Every harsh word that you’ve said in anger is on the cross. [46:08] Every moment where you said a discouraging word and you should have said an encouraging word,

[46:12] it’s on the cross. [46:15] Jesus died for your sin, and you died for your sin. [46:17] You can begin again today. [46:20] It’s going to be hard. [46:21] It’s going to be difficult. [46:23] But begin today setting a new standard for your family

[46:27] in the hope of Jesus Christ, because it’s the only place that hope is found. [46:33] And this is a foundation for your family to follow Jesus.

[46:40] You know, as we close this morning and transition into a time of reflection [46:44] and communion.

[46:48] Some of you are in situations where maybe the sermon has been harder to hear.

[46:57] Maybe you haven’t been the leader for your family, or maybe [47:00] you’re a wife or a mother here whose husband hasn’t been obedient. [47:04] Maybe he’s not even here because of that.

[47:09] But I think that the reason that Paul. [47:13] Ephesians five uses the example for the family [47:16] of Jesus is because he doesn’t want us to find all of our hope. [47:21] And a human. [47:23] And he knows that even in that crowd in Ephesus, there were people that had absentee [47:27] fathers.

[47:29] There were fathers who didn’t think there was hope of change for themselves. [47:33] And he looks to them and he says, don’t first try to pull yourself up by your bootstraps [47:38] and just obey out of the grit of your teeth. [47:40] No, there’s no hope in that. [47:42] He says, first, you look to the cross. [47:43] First, you look to Jesus and understand that in Jesus’s hope and in Jesus is a new

[47:49] identity.

[47:54] The bread that’s on the tables throughout this room, it’s all broken for a purpose [48:00] because Jesus’s body was broken.

[48:04] So that I won’t be broken, but so that I can be healed.

[48:09] The cup represents Jesus’s blood. [48:12] Jesus’s blood represents a new covenant. [48:16] It represents the life of Jesus entering into my life. [48:19] And then when I’m getting my life from Jesus, I can then pour that life into my family [48:25] because they don’t need me. [48:27] They need Jesus.

[48:29] And I want them to see Jesus in me.

[48:33] Cup represents a new day in your life, a new day for your family and a new hope. [48:43] Whether you came from a broke family, whether you’re in the midst of a family that’s [48:49] breaking, Jesus will and can make you whole. [48:58] When you’re ready, come.

[49:20] All right, as you guys are finishing up communion here, we’re going to have a time of [49:24] question and answer, something a little bit different we’re doing for this family series. [49:27] We won’t be singing songs at the end. [49:28] That will be back in Romans, but we’ve really enjoyed this time during this series. [49:33] I do want to call the ushers forward to take our offering. [49:36] That’s one part of what we do as worship, as Village Church.

[49:40] If you’re a guest with us this morning, please don’t feel bad about it. [49:42] [49:42] [49:42] I feel obligated to participate in that. [49:44] That’s for those of us that call Village home. [49:47] But we’ll just jump right into it.

[49:49] Got a bunch of questions. [49:50] Thank you again for that. [49:51] As always, if your question doesn’t get answered, please do feel comfortable to email us during [49:55] the week. [49:55] We would love to answer your question that way. [49:59] But we’ll just start right off the bat here.

[50:01] The question that came in was, can wives and mothers be influential also? [50:05] Absolutely. [50:07] As a wife and mother, you are very influential. [50:10] I talked a little bit about this last week, but in the text where Paul deals with wives, [50:18] with unbelieving spouses, he says basically that the hope of the husband to come to faith [50:23] in Christ is through your silent servitude to Jesus Christ and your following Jesus.

[50:29] It’s not so much going to be in word, but it’s going to be in deed. [50:32] In that passage, he also keeps the order in the home the same. [50:37] The husband is still the head of the home in that type of attitude. [50:41] I understand that mothers, I’m going to deal with you next week. [50:44] I’m going to talk to you next week. [50:48] So a lot of this will be unpacked next week.

[50:50] But the most influential people in the life of a husband is going to be his wife. [50:56] My wife is very influential to me, wiser than I am in some situations. [51:01] And my mother has been very influential to me as well. [51:04] So absolutely.

[51:07] Is talking about the husband being the head of the family just setting us up for chauvinism?

[51:13] It can.

[51:16] If you’re not following Jesus.

[51:19] I think that’s the key to understand chauvinism is not Christ like. [51:25] And so in the pushback of culture is always the opposite of following Jesus. [51:31] So they’re saying we got to protect ourselves from following Jesus. [51:33] Paul never says have that in mind. [51:35] Have what Jesus had in mind in mind. [51:37] So the way that Jesus set it up is the way that you’re to go.

[51:42] These next two could be long points, but as quick as you can. [51:46] What does the word headship mean? [51:49] In this passage, the term headship is basically it just literally means authority. [51:55] When it speaks of head, it’s actually the term here is the authority that God wields. [52:00] And so it says that God’s wielding is authority through the husband. [52:03] And so that’s what it means.

[52:05] You mentioned the first Corinthians verse there. [52:07] And so the question is, you know, why is it shameful for women to speak in church? [52:12] For the long answer, we did a series last year called Cal tipping where I unpacked this passage more specifically. [52:19] That should be on the website, even though I think the one that I mentioned last week had to be put on the website after after I said go to the website. [52:26] So, but yeah, that that’s on there. [52:29] But specifically, he’s fighting against a form of pagan feminism that was in Corinth in which male headship was being ripped apart and women were seeking to lead.

[52:39] And it was causing chaos in the church. [52:41] The type of leadership they were attempting to mix idol worship, mix pagan sexuality with Christianity. [52:48] And Paul specifically fighting that. [52:51] And so Paul tells them he reasserts the household. [52:54] He says the woman, excuse me, the wife needs to be discipled by the husband. [52:58] So he’s asserting that.

[52:59] And then when he says a woman, women ought to be silent in the church, that’s what he’s specifically talking about. [53:04] He’s not talking about conversations in the four year.

[53:11] What responsibilities do dads have to disciple adult children? [53:16] I think you have to understand that no matter what, until the day you die, you wield great influence. [53:23] You know, I’m in my mid thirties. [53:25] My father is still very influential in my life. [53:28] All fathers, no matter what’s going to happen, you’re very influential in your life. [53:32] And it’s the same way even once when you’re when you’re when your son or daughter leaves the household, understand that your daughter will transition into a place where her husband is her chief discipler.

[53:42] So you cannot subvert that, dads. [53:45] And if you try, you’re in sin. [53:48] You can influence that.

[53:52] You know, you can be godly if he’s not godly, be the godly influence, but never try to subvert his authority in the household unless there are certain situations of abuse and tyranny maybe that are going on. [54:03] But I don’t want to deal with I don’t want to deal with those right now. [54:06] But over your son, it’s different because you’re always dad. [54:11] And he then goes into a relationship in which he leaves you cleaves to his wife. [54:17] So don’t never undermine that relationship, but understand that he’s still looking to you to say, how do I do this? [54:25] That I think that’s that’s the sweet spot.

[54:29] How would you encourage those who did not have a good example of a father of the way Paul encourages? [54:36] Because remember, he’s speaking to people who didn’t grow up with Jesus. [54:41] He’s speaking to a first generation church in Ephesus. [54:47] And these are people who did not grow up going to church. [54:51] These are people that just heard about the gospel. [54:53] And he says, look to Jesus.

[54:55] And so if you’ve had nothing but bad examples of all things, whether it be a father, whether it be a husband, whether it be, you know, the father of your children who never became your husband. [55:06] He says, look to Jesus. [55:09] All right. [55:10] This question came in in a couple of different ways. [55:13] But basically, the question is, what would you say to a mother whose husband is not following Jesus or even maybe is abusing their authority or being abusive? [55:24] If if your husband is abusing you or your children, you need to get the authorities involved.

[55:30] I leave no no ground for for that in any way. [55:37] You should not just remain in a situation of physical, specifically physical abuse, even mental abuse borders that I would say in a case by case scenario. [55:47] But get the authorities involved in that to the extent of remove your children from that household if anybody’s being abused, you or your children. [55:55] Now, to a place where they’re just simply being disobedient to Jesus, Paul says you be obedient to Jesus. [56:03] Follow him. [56:04] And in that way, you’ll influence your husband.

[56:06] But still, do not subvert his headship. [56:11] That’s going to be very difficult. [56:15] You know, because you still need to lead the fan. [56:18] Excuse me. [56:18] You still need to, you know, attempt to come under him in submission the way that the church does to Jesus in every way that you can. [56:27] If it would cause you to disobey Jesus, you don’t do that.

[56:31] But in every way that you can respect him, the scriptures would tell you to respect him. [56:36] You never better your situation through disrespect, no matter what position you’re in. [56:44] And then on the final week, I’ll tell this to kids, but I think kids are the worst at that. [56:48] They think they’re somehow going to make their relationship with mom and dad better by being disrespectful. [56:52] Could be, yeah, whatever. [56:54] That’s not going to work.

[56:56] But husbands disrespecting your wife is not going to make her a better wife. [57:00] Wife disrespecting your husband is not going to make him a better husband. [57:03] It’s just not going to work.

[57:06] A few questions more related to the end of your message about practical things some folks can do. [57:12] You talked about it a little bit, but any more tips for how people can lead family worship time? [57:16] The most difficult thing that I’ve had to do in my family worship time is finding good ushers.

[57:24] That way, my wife and kids just sit all over the place. [57:28] The offering time is weird. [57:30] Nah, I’m just kidding. [57:32] But I think that’s what we do in our brains when we think about family worship. [57:38] I went into one guy’s house and he even had a pulpit. [57:42] I mean, it was just like, what are you doing, man?

[57:45] Like, I don’t, man, my wife would just go somewhere. [57:49] She would be like, I do that on Sundays. [57:51] No, not today.

[57:54] But seriously, it is just a time. [57:57] And I go through to filter that for me because that is the tendency that I have. [58:03] I’ll turn anything into a sermon. [58:05] I mean, I’ll start getting hot right there in the living room and I’m like, what’s wrong with me? [58:09] This is a four-year-old. [58:10] But so I use devotional materials that have preprogrammed questions.

[58:18] I’ll even use the answers that they have because they’re usually better than the answers that I’m going to come up with for my kids. [58:23] And so it’s really family worship for us is usually about 10 minutes because that’s the attention span of my children. [58:31] Now, as they get older, it may increase. [58:33] My daughter makes it about 60 seconds. [58:35] She’s not even two yet. [58:37] I mean, she’s just throwing toys.

[58:40] And, you know, from pastoral perspective, like my face are turning red and I’m just like, and then it’s like, repent, Steve, repent. [58:49] But I really believe I read through the word with my kids. [58:54] And here’s the thing. [58:55] I know they’re not picking up a lot of it, but they will. [59:00] And what I’m doing right now is I’m clearing a path for when they’re teenagers.

[59:06] It’s really hard to start something when they’re teenagers that you didn’t have in place when they were children. [59:11] You can do it. [59:14] And if you need to do it, get the machete out. [59:17] You know, you got you got to do the path no matter what. [59:19] But what I’m trying to do right now is setting a path for what’s going to be longer conversations in the future. [59:24] So right now it’s setting the priority of the scriptures in my household.

[59:29] If I believe the scriptures of the word of God, then it’s going to have that priority in my family worship. [59:33] And so we go through the scriptures. [59:36] We teach our kids songs right now. [59:38] We’ve got Jesus loves me on repeat because that’s the one that’s that’s stuck with my kids. [59:43] And they’ve memorized. [59:45] And and so it’s just a very simple time where I read through the passage and I ask my son questions.

[59:50] And then typically I answer the questions for him. [59:54] I say, hey, buddy, do you know? [59:56] Yeah. [59:58] What is it, daddy? [59:59] And so I answer. [60:01] So it’s just very simple.

[60:02] Ten minutes.

[60:05] Would you say to someone whose question is, how do I find time to do all this? [60:09] I mean, to follow Jesus, to learn the Bible, to commit? [60:12] I think that’s the question of our day. [60:14] Specifically, you know, as we’ve transitioned from from, you know, more agrarian to industrial, [60:21] where dads would work at the home to where, you know, it’s rare to find a dad that does work at the home right now. [60:27] It means making some very hard decisions.

[60:29] That’s what it typically means. [60:33] You know, it’s it’s going to mean saying no to certain things. [60:37] And I wouldn’t necessarily some of you do need to go here. [60:41] But it’s not just about, well, I guess I just, you know, you know, can’t do my job well. [60:46] No, no, don’t watch TV.

[60:50] You know, get rid of books that aren’t the scriptures.

[60:55] Don’t commit yourself to hobbies that keep you from this. [60:58] You know, whatever it be, make those hard decisions first. [61:03] Then you begin to look at your career and asking questions of, you know, is my career subverting my relationship with Jesus Christ or the hours that I’m working not making sense because I’m not able to disciple my family? [61:17] And it’s all about asking yourself those questions and then giving yourself honest answers. [61:23] And if you don’t think you can give yourself honest answers, go to your group leader. [61:27] Maybe they’ll give you honest answers.

[61:29] Go to a very good friend that you respect where their relationship with Christ is concerned. [61:34] Maybe they’ll give you honest answers. [61:36] Come to me. I’ll give you honest answers. [61:39] But I really will. [61:41] So be careful.

[61:43] But it but it’s it’s really all about setting priorities and understanding that the gospel is priority number one in your family and everything else needs to fall behind that one. [61:54] And you’re going to have to you’re going to have to learn to say no to some things so that you can say yes to your family.

[62:03] Good. [62:04] Go ahead and pray for us. [62:05] Let’s pray. [62:05] Our father, we we come before you so thankful for all that you’ve done and continue to do. [62:13] Jesus, you died on the cross and you continue to intercede on our behalf. [62:20] Thank you.

[62:21] I pray specifically for the men in here right now, for those that are husbands and for those that are fathers and for those that will be Lord, I pray that right now, wherever we are, we would trust your grace for every failure that we’ve had. [62:39] And then we will trust your grace to build a family and a home under the banner of the gospel of Jesus Christ. [62:46] It’s in his precious name. [62:47] I pray. [62:48] Amen. [62:49] Amen.