A Redeeming Family, Part 3.

Steve Gentry

[0:00] Welcome to Village Church. My name is Steve, one of the pastors here. [0:05] Thanks for coming. It’s good to see who didn’t go to the beach this weekend.

[0:10] You’re here. If you have your Bibles, go ahead and open them up to Ephesians chapter 6. We’re [0:16] going to be going through the first four verses, kind of finishing up a series within a series [0:21] this morning on the family as Paul spent really the end of chapter 5 and then the beginning of [0:28] chapter 6 talking about the different aspects of being in a physical family as we build God’s [0:36] heavenly family. And the entire book of Ephesians, the theme that what you’re really seeing here is [0:43] that there’s an eternal plan of God to reveal His glory through redeeming sinful man by His own hand

[0:50] through His work on the cross through Jesus. And then everything after that is revealing [0:56] not what we’re doing for God, but rather what God is doing through us as He redeems us in order [1:05] to build His kingdom through the physical revelation of that kingdom in the church. [1:12] And so the entire book of Ephesians is tilted towards finding your identity as a follower [1:18] of Jesus, as someone who was dead in their sins, and through faith in Christ, God makes you alive [1:25] to His purposes of building His kingdom with the gifts and the talents that He gives you.

[1:31] And then through chapters 4 through 6, He kind of gives us the practical nature of how that [1:36] actually looks in our lives as the church exists in order to equip us and disciple us so that we [1:46] can really find our identity, so that we can learn how to live our lives, so that then we can go into [1:51] the relationships of our lives realizing that we’ve been reconciled to God, therefore we exist [1:57] to take that reconciliation to others. And that’s how you build the church, through living and [2:03] proclaiming the truth of Jesus Christ, that God’s grace exists for us in our sin so that we don’t

[2:11] have to exist with an identity of sin, but rather we can exist with an identity of those who have [2:16] been reconciled to God and have been adopted into His family and made participants in His [2:22] glorious eternal work. And then He continues as we go through this getting more and more personal [2:29] as to how there is no part of life that is left untouched by this plan of God. For the past two [2:37] weeks we took a look at the relationship between a husband and a wife, and that really marriage was [2:41] instituted in Genesis chapter one so that we could have a revelation of number one who God is,

[2:51] and then number two, it was a prophecy of what God was going to do as He joined the redeemed [2:58] with Jesus in that eternal marriage. And we saw that the husband exists to exude the grace that [3:06] Christ exudes through sacrifice, through servanthood, and the wife lives to be inspired by that and to [3:15] submit to godly leadership and receive the overflow of God’s pouring into His life, into her life, [3:22] as they then join together as partners in the gospel. Well today what we’re going to do is we’re [3:27] going to go one step further and the outcome of many marriages happens to be children. God has made

[3:33] us as reproductive beings, He told Adam and Eve, He said be fruitful and multiply, and part of that [3:38] mandate was childbearing. And so we have children and then kind of in the gospel, really when you [3:46] have children it’s kind of like okay now I’ve got kids what do I do with them? All right well in the [3:50] gospel we really have to ask ourselves the same question. If I’m finding my identity, my purpose, [3:55] my meaning, everything that I live my life for in the gospel, what then does that mean for me as a [4:02] parent? And I just want to start off by letting you know that I understand that no one loves anything

[4:07] more than a 31 year old with a two-year-old telling people who are older than he is and probably have [4:12] more kids than he is how they should raise their kids. All right I’m gonna start I know that you [4:16] guys are begging me to do this this morning all right but what I want to let you know is I’m not [4:20] here to give you good advice. I have an understanding that there’s a lot of people in here that that have [4:26] older kids than I have, have more kids than I have, and you’ve been there, you’ve done that, you bought [4:31] a t-shirt, then your kid ruined it for you, and you could tell me way more practically how to raise

[4:39] children than I can tell you. So I’m not here this morning with the purpose of giving you good advice [4:45] as to how to raise a teenager or how to raise a 10-year-old. What I’m really here for is simply [4:51] to give the vision that God gives us in scripture for children. All right that’s what I’m here for [4:58] that’s my chief aim. This is not Steve’s advice on how to be good moms and dads all right that’s [5:03] not my purpose and I probably couldn’t even do that. You haven’t been to my house. He rules me. [5:09] I need help someone. No just kidding. I probably do ask my wife. You want a real look at a man,

[5:18] just ask his wife. She’ll give you the real view of what that guy’s all about. But in Ephesians [5:25] chapter 6, he gives us some just really blunt commands, demands for what life is to be like [5:36] between a child and between a parent. So let’s just jump right into it. Children, all right, this is [5:42] kind of like the relationship with a husband and wife. He started with the wife because as the [5:48] leader, if the husband doesn’t have a wife following him, he’s just taking a walk and so [5:52] there’s really no purpose in addressing him in the first place. So he starts with the children

[5:57] because children have that same life where they are to follow their parents but it’s not the same [6:04] type of submission that a wife does to her husband because in that phrase we do not have an inferiority [6:12] or a superiority. We have partners who occupy different roles with the same value as equal [6:19] people loved by God exactly the same. Now the love for God for children and parents is exactly [6:24] the same but there is an expressed inferiority from the children towards the parents. The parents [6:32] are to occupy a stature and a role that is to be superior to that of the child and the purpose of

[6:42] that is that you are maturing someone that is immature. I would not tell my son to go change [6:51] the oil in my truck nor would I really find it a purpose right now to show him how because he [6:57] can’t use tools. He’s two. He might pick it up and like bang it or something but he’s not going to [7:03] figure out how to use a wrench. My wife though, she can do everything that I can do in that sense [7:08] but the relationship between the parent and the child is to be seen as someone modeling a life [7:15] for a person who does not have a firm grasp on life. So that’s the posture that we’re to take.

[7:25] It’s not about domineering. It’s about teaching. It’s about guiding. It’s about maturing. [7:32] Okay children obey your parents. Every kid loves that phrase. All right it’s everybody’s [7:43] joy to obey mom and dad. In the Lord for this is right honor your father and mother. This is the [7:53] first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the [7:58] end. Fathers do not provoke your children to anger but bring them up in the discipline [8:06] and instruction of the Lord. All right point number one this morning that’s really the gauge

[8:13] of verse one is that children should follow their parents into gospel centered mission.

[8:21] Children should follow their parents into gospel centered mission and here’s what I mean by that [8:26] when he gives that phrase children obey your parents that is not an island to itself.

[8:34] There is a context in which that obedience is to flow out of. Paul is being very idealistic here. [8:42] He’s going to set the relationship between parents and children on the foundation of chapter 5 [8:49] verse 22 through 33. He’s building the foundation on top of parents who are living to see the gospel [9:00] reproduced in the lives of their children as their chief concern because if a husband is living to [9:09] obey God and to live the mission of Jesus through the power of the Holy Spirit that’s given to him [9:14] through the gospel and his life is being poured over into his wife who now has a vision for the

[9:21] gospel in her life then necessarily that vision will then pour over into the children in the house. [9:27] That’s the vision of God. Now sin corrupts therefore it is very hard in many circumstances to [9:37] see that type of vision happening in your family but the key is in understanding what the book of [9:43] Ephesians is built on and that is the redemption and reconciliation that is offered through Jesus [9:48] Christ. Therefore the hope of the obedience of children and the hope of children having a vision [9:54] for which to place their lives in is not found in whether or not it’s a broken home or whether or

[9:59] not it’s the the nuclear family that we that we see in a mother and a father who love each other [10:04] and love Jesus. The hope is in Jesus. I want Peter Brady on you right there. The hope is in Jesus.

[10:13] Therefore the life that is to be lived if you’re a single parent if you’re a single mother a single [10:19] father if you’re a widow a widower if it’s a divorce situation where there’s joint custody [10:24] that is not to be seen as a hopeless situation but rather it is to be seen as a situation in [10:31] which the gospel can triumph over that which falls apart because of sin. Therefore no matter [10:38] what situation you find yourself in life like we said last week in marriage your actions and [10:44] your attitude in your faith is not determined by your situation it is determined by Jesus.

[10:50] Therefore as a parent you’re to drive them towards the gospel no matter what because you’re to drive [10:56] yourself toward the gospel no matter what situation that you find yourself in and [11:01] reconciliation with Jesus is ultimate therefore he works within any situation because he’s God [11:07] and God can do that. It’s one of those things of being all powerful you can just work in any [11:12] situation to bring about your glory. Now he starts with children kids obey your parents but what is [11:22] the most important thing that he’s ever been told by his parents is that he’s not

[11:23] hinging on in the Lord therefore the chief concern of mom and dad is not academics [11:36] is not sports is not financial the chief concern of parents. Now I’m not diminishing the need for that [11:47] but the chief aim and chief concern in the scripture of a mother and a father [11:52] is that three word phrase in the Lord that you are first and foremost to live to fashion a life [12:04] that is passionate about Jesus Christ to your children before you worry about everything else [12:11] because everything else can fall after that but once you put anything in front of training your

[12:21] children in the gospel of Jesus Christ and in faith and following God then you will necessarily [12:29] lose that which is beautiful about the gospel. Everything else can come afterwards but the gospel [12:35] cannot come after anything else because that is idolatry that is then your God. If your chief [12:40] concern is that your parents are that your children are financially stable in life then [12:44] you are then showing that money is your God and that will be the gospel your children will follow.

[12:54] Same thing with anything else put anything else after that anything that comes before Jesus [13:01] is what your children will see as God in their lives [13:06] because of that being a parent is difficult it’s very difficult

[13:14] because what really happens in the life that we live is that parents are a mirror [13:22] for children to look into they’re a mirror. I want to show you something in Proverbs chapter 23 [13:29] Proverbs chapter 23 verses 26 verse 26 reveals my son give me your heart and let your eyes observe [13:40] my ways. This was written by Solomon the wisest man that ever lived according to scripture to his [13:47] son and he doesn’t simply give his son a list of things that his life is supposed to be but instead [13:55] he says my son observe my ways. There’s kind of a relationship that’s almost an apprenticeship

[14:04] here that Solomon is showing us. It’s not that he’s giving his son things to do it’s not that he’s [14:10] telling his son how to live he’s saying son I’m inviting you into my life and you are to live as [14:16] I live when you see my walk when you see my actions you’re seeing the actions that you are [14:23] to mimic and that you are to portray therefore the life of a parent is the most important [14:31] relationship that your child will ever have. And oftentimes what we do in our lives what we see [14:41] is that there is this separation between mom and dad and those who are to teach our children

[14:48] the truth of Jesus Christ. All right and what happened is is there’s years back there was this [14:55] thing that has happened throughout churches and I’m not bashing anyone I’m not saying I don’t [15:00] believe in different ministries for different age groups but there was a professionalization that [15:05] took place where people that were pastors they’re seen as the professionals. So if you want your [15:12] child to learn about God we’re going to need to call the professional in because that’s what we [15:16] do and everything else in life but that is not the biblical view of the way our children are to

[15:23] be discipled and I’ll tell you why real quick in Titus chapter 1 and you don’t you don’t need to [15:29] turn there you don’t need to look there I’m just going to summarize it in Titus chapter 1 we have [15:33] the qualifications for pastors for what is called elders in the scriptures for those who are to [15:40] disciple the church and are to guide the ship that is the local church. Well so what we’ve done [15:47] is as we’ve said this is what needs to be true about those who are going to be in the ministry [15:50] those who are going to teach but that is not the standard that I’m called into therefore I’m always

[15:56] going to be somewhat of a second-class Christian where discipling others is concerned even inside [16:03] of my own home. So pastors and youth pastors and children’s ministers those are the people in charge [16:09] of discipleship what I exist for is to teach my children how to exist in the real world career-wise [16:17] academics-wise and financially in that type of separation you are not going to see the gospel [16:26] purified in the next generation you’re going to see finances academics and careers glorified in [16:33] the next generation and less than Christianity goes further and further generation to generation

[16:39] because no one has more impact on a child than a mother and father that is where we immediately [16:47] find our purpose in life because it’s a mirror that we see our children look into our lives and [16:56] say that is what I exist for because that’s my parent so your child’s identity will first and

[17:14] then they have new moms and dads which that’s conversation for another day [17:24] you are the mirror into what your child looks and sees himself or herself all right so it’s a huge [17:32] burden it’s a huge responsibility to live under and you’re going to have to do that because you’re [17:36] [17:36] all right but here’s the key the qualifications for the elders that are seen in chapter [17:41] one flows over into chapter two of titus which is sometimes not gauged gazed into

[17:48] with the intensity that we look at chapter one look at chapter two verse one

[17:53] but as for you speaking to titus who’s a pastor teach what accords with sound doctrine [18:01] old men older men sorry are to be sober minded dignified self-controlled sound and faith [18:09] in love and instead fastness older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior not slanders or [18:17] slaves to much wine they are to teach what is good do you know what we have and then he continues [18:24] I mean read the rest of the chapter I’m just summarizing here but you see what we have there [18:28] we have a summary of the qualification for elders in chapter one what we have here is

[18:35] paul telling titus how to be a pastor and that discipleship trickles down out of his life into [18:43] every person in the church and then they begin to live exactly as he lives pastor erwin mcmanus [18:51] calls this a radical minimum standard it’s not the radical maximum standard of what christianity [18:56] looks like it’s the minimum standard in other words the qualifications of an elder are simply [19:02] what it looks like to be a follower of jesus christ someone that takes discipleship seriously [19:07] someone that’s growing in their faith therefore god’s calling on my life may simply be a different

[19:14] office but it’s not different actions or attitudes every person in the church is called to follow [19:22] jesus by the same standard we’re to be passionate about our faith because our faith is to be that [19:30] which defines us so when we look to our children and say obey me your children may then look back [19:38] and say what am i obeying is it in the lord now they won’t ask you that but when they’re older [19:48] they will reflect that

[19:52] in proverbs chapter 17 verse 25 it says a foolish son is a grief to his father [20:00] bitterness to her who bore him

[20:05] solomon is writing this from the perspective of someone who wants nothing more than to bring [20:09] glory to god and so when we look into the lives of our children if we desire for them to grow [20:17] and bring glory to god then we ourselves must first take an identity as a disciple of jesus [20:24] christ living to reproduce our faith in our children as we have biologically reproduced [20:30] in our children that is to be our chief aim that is to be our chief concern the calling on your life [20:39] is to be that of someone following jesus with his all and then teaching our children how to also

[20:49] place hope and faith in jesus as his or her all

[20:57] parents then should commit to grace-filled discipleship [21:05] all right this is this is where we might just start to waffle a little bit but if you look back [21:11] in the text the calling on the child then is to honor your father and mother that it may go well [21:20] with you and that you may live long in the land all right now what don’t kids understand it if [21:27] i don’t care what age you are if you have a mom and dad here’s the key that honor that we show [21:35] towards mother and father that that obedience that we give towards our moms and the dads because

[21:40] what’s going to happen at some point is that children will become bigger sinners they’re born [21:46] that way they don’t sin them become sinners they’re sinners who just happen to start sinning really [21:50] bad at some point and there’s going to come a point in your life kids when you are going to [21:57] think you’re smarter than your mother and father my son liam he’s no different there will i think [22:02] it’s already showing he’s really he’s far advanced in his rebellion than most children his age but [22:09] you’re like that’s pastor’s kids i know i didn’t know what i was signing up for on that one

[22:14] but at some point children you will come to a place where you think you’re smarter than your [22:19] mom and dad even where discipleship is concerned even with the lord you’re going to find yourself [22:24] in a position where you’re going to look at the gospel and you’re going to look at what everyone [22:29] else is doing and you’re going to feel a pull in your sin towards everyone else rather than towards [22:37] the gospel and mom and dad right then and there is where the truth of your faith [22:47] is going to be gazed into the most by your children i understand children develop their

[22:53] personalities and great deal of maturity is to be done before the child even turns 10 years old [22:59] but i know from personal experience that between the ages of 12 and 18 is where i said what’s faith

[23:08] therefore the moment when you start to farm out and just leave them on their own and [23:12] they can walk home on their own and just open the door and go into an empty house or have a daycare [23:18] professional tell them what their faith is to be like or have a youth pastor who only sees them [23:23] once a week tell them what faith is all about that is the most significant time in your child’s life [23:30] where decisions about the future are being made

[23:38] children obey your parents do not see them as someone who’s ignorant about the way the world [23:46] works now because really who cares how the world works now

[23:52] the most significant thing in life is how scripture reveals how the world works for all time

[23:58] the book of azaa forecasts that god knows the beginning from the end the end from the beginning [24:02] in all cultures and all generations he’s still god working everything to his honor into his glory [24:08] so whatever it is that you set in your path for life to be about [24:14] it’s already shown as to whether or not it will ultimately be a success or a failure by scripture [24:22] that if you live a life investing that which god has given for eternal matters of [24:29] jesus for furthering the work and the words of the gospel that is what will win

[24:40] you everything else is bankrupt everything everything else is something that’s temporary [24:48] jesus said that it moth and rust corrupts everything else but that which is from and [24:54] for the kingdom of god will last forever i may starve to death in this life but i know who can [25:03] kill me again after this life and his name’s god

[25:07] therefore that’s a secondary matter what’s first is the scriptures what’s first is jesus

[25:19] and when we commit to this grace-filled discipleship just like in everything else it’s like you know you [25:25] try to recruit community group leaders and i think the one reason some people are like i don’t know [25:29] that is because we’re afraid we’re going to screw up right well i’m in a generation where [25:34] adolescence like branches into its 30s pretty soon you’re going to have 50 year old adolescence [25:38] living in mom’s basement or something and it just seems to get older and older and older all the [25:43] time but part of it is is that there’s a generation that is petrified of failure petrified of screwing

[25:54] up because we watch all sorts of other people screw up and i don’t want that to be about me

[26:00] so one thing you have to understand about a parent about being a parent [26:03] is that grace-filled discipleship really is what it’s all about and the first form of grace that [26:10] you have to understand is the grace that is extended to you mom dad you’re going to fail [26:18] you probably have 30 or 40 times i’ll never forget man when i had liam uh well i didn’t do that my [26:26] wife did but when when she bore liam um he was angry that day my friends but uh

[26:34] when when when liam came into our lives when god gave us his great gift

[26:41] and maybe maybe other dads will grasp this i was petrified more so than i had ever been during [26:48] the pregnancy because i kind of knew it was coming and it’s like all right i’ll figure it out all [26:53] right i’ll figure it out he’s born i better figure it out all right

[27:01] but as he’s grown up i see more and more of the deficits that exist in my life [27:11] i see more and more about how i don’t always know the answer is he sick is he healthy is he hungry [27:19] is he wet i don’t know i don’t want to smell smell that

[27:25] and sometimes my wife will just go stick a finger in what in the world it’s not like checking the oil

[27:32] it’s disturbing go wash your hands

[27:38] sometimes i’m so weird like i’ll watch make sure she washes her hands i hate germs

[27:43] it’s another talk for another day i guess

[27:47] but here’s the vision that god gives us in hebra’s chapter 12 starting in verse 5 [27:54] and have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons my son do not lightly [28:01] regard the discipline of the lord nor be weary when reproved by him for the lord disciplines the [28:08] one he loves and chastises every son whom he receives it is for discipline that you have to [28:15] endure god is treating you as sons for what son is there whom his father does not discipline if [28:23] you are left without discipline in which all have participated then you are illegitimate children

[28:28] and not sons besides this we’ve had earthly fathers who disciplined us and who we were and [28:34] we respected them shall we not much more be subject to the father of spirits and live for [28:40] they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them but he disciplines us for our good [28:46] that we may share his holiness for the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant but [28:52] later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it now here’s [29:04] if you’re a child thesians 12 is this this text that really just has so much meat where the gospel

[29:10] is concerned you should just spend weeks pouring over it but here’s just really simplified

[29:18] you’re not perfect by any stretch of the imagination none of us are none of us are we [29:25] are sinners in need of a god to redeem us and then continuing to work that redemption into our lives [29:31] as we learn and follow him and in our relationship with god he brings circumstances and situations [29:38] into our lives that will seem painful that will seem hard but in reality because of texts like [29:45] romans 8 28 all things work together for good to those who love god of those who are called [29:48] according to his purpose we see that they are really put into our lives to grow us to make us

[29:54] see the need for change to help us understand what reality is all about to help us understand what [30:00] really is life to mature us to make us more obedient to help us follow him to just continue [30:08] to refine us into the image of jesus as we trust in his work on the cross that is the life that [30:15] god is taking us on and here’s the key that is the life that your children need to gaze into as they [30:31] are no way you’ve got it all figured out as a mom or dad don’t care how old your kids are [30:36] there’s no way you’ve got it all figured out as to follow jesus no way there’s no way you’ve

[30:43] got life all figured out stop pretending you must find your identity mom and dad as a child of god [30:55] that’s first your child of the king so precious that he’s redeemed you with the blood and sacrifice [31:03] of his own son on the cross who rose again to life so that you could know victory over death [31:10] victory over sin and then throughout the rest of your life he’s refining you so that you can know [31:17] him more so you can be closer to him so you can understand your dependence upon him and that is a [31:24] revelation of what the life of parents to their children is to look like

[31:32] you’re growing them you’re maturing them you’re helping them you’re putting them in situations [31:37] and in circumstances where they can grow so that they can know what love really is [31:44] is you are preparing them to know and love and be loved by jesus

[31:58] and the way to have that to be the most successful is if you are mirroring that to them [32:07] and here’s a couple of just just quick tips that i’ve really seen in the big scheme of scripture

[32:18] paul ends it with this great phrase the kids really love all right because he ultimately puts [32:24] the burden on dad again love the way paul does that it’s like mom’s not there what pick on her [32:30] for a while this is fathers do not provoke your children to anger and the kids are like yeah [32:34] that’s my mom and dad always provoking me probably not probably not i doubt that seriously [32:41] they took my my phone away good why do you have one you’re 12

[32:49] like mentally i think i’m older than i look because it’s like why do eight-year-olds text [32:54] what are they talking about

[33:01] here’s the here’s the key fathers do not provoke your children to anger [33:05] but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the lord which could provoke them to anger [33:10] right you could there’s a different type of anger right and there’s a couple of tips about this [33:18] thing with your kids all right number one no one likes a hypocrite

[33:22] all right no one does you don’t i don’t you’ve been one i’ve been one we don’t like ourselves [33:29] right now no one likes to be told something by someone that i have to do something i have [33:37] to be something i have to live as something and then the very next minute you see the person [33:42] telling you to do this doing something else

[33:46] remember you’re a mirror into which your children look your actions must come before your words [33:58] they must they must if you want your children to follow jesus because you know that if you’re a [34:11] that is for you yourself to follow jesus

[34:18] obedience is to come out of in the lord i can get my son if i scare him enough [34:25] to do whatever i want that’s great power is it not right but you are not to wield that power [34:34] to make your child simply more moral more obedient so they don’t get in your hair [34:42] remember this hinges on in the lord so this supposes that your vision is to make a disciple [34:50] therefore number two you have to be a disciple you have to be a disciple this is not necessarily [34:59] about being perfect this is about someone that lives a life humbled under the mighty hand of god

[35:06] a child that sees a mother and a father worshiping jesus finding more delight in jesus than they do [35:13] the things of this world so that child cannot be told to be a disciple so that child can know [35:21] what a disciple looks like that’s how the church is supposed to have been known for 2000 years [35:27] our actions matter our lives are significant what we do matters what do you want your child [35:35] to become be that because whatever it is that you are being is what your children are becoming

[35:44] i taught in high school and i was a youth pastor for eight years and i watched it over it didn’t [35:50] matter how many sermons of mine they listened to it didn’t matter how many youth activities i took [35:55] on it didn’t matter how much church history and biblical history i had taught them all that mattered [36:01] is the mirror of mom and dad that they looked into

[36:10] sometimes i felt like i was lost in words that weren’t even getting in ears because as soon [36:16] as they left they were picked up by a mom and dad who just didn’t care about the gospel

[36:26] understand the great responsibility that you have they’re not your children they’re gods [36:33] given to you to steward for his glory you’re like but i bore them yes but god knew them before you [36:44]

[36:47] before the foundations of the earth he chose us in him

[36:55] discipline is not condemnation all right it’s not

[37:01] here’s what i mean by that condemnation brews anger because there’s hopelessness [37:07] there’s no hope when i’m condemned the most condemning force in a child’s life though is [37:13] mom and dad can be that is your words do matter

[37:22] are you are your words peppered with the grace of god or are they peppered with the wrath of you

[37:31] now correction is needed i know some of your kids it’s true it’s needed probably this afternoon [37:43] but discipline and condemnation are two different things discipline comes in the form like we looked [37:48] at in hebrews chapter 12 there that god disciplines those whom he loves and he appoints parents to [37:54] discipline their children what it is is guiding a child with an outlook of success why does god [38:01] discipline us because he is refining us for our future hope in his kingdom why are you discipling [38:08] your children because you’re refining them for future hope that’s found in god’s kingdom it’s

[38:13] the same goal so when you’re correcting your children have it be for the purposes of god and [38:21] have it be peppered with the grace of god that’s forgiving to them as you’ve been forgiven by god [38:26] you fail so will your children are you there for them or do they feel nothing but condemnation from [38:37] you are you there to help or are you there to hurt are there things in your life that you need [38:42] to work through because it’s one thing that’s true hurt people hurt people all right so what [38:48] is it that god needs to work in your life as you are a disciple that god can then pour over into

[38:53] your child’s life as you’re making them a disciple and understand this takes time the words i’m sorry [38:59] should not be foreign from the lips of a parent

[39:04] because your child needs to know how they need to measure up and as a disciple of jesus christ i’m [39:10] constantly saying i’m sorry to god therefore i know i’m not perfect and are you forecasting a life [39:18] onto your child where perfectionism is what is to define them or is grace to define them [39:25] they need to see the change that god is working in your life therefore if you’re [39:30] unchanging they will see themselves as neat as unchanging

[39:40] do not place more burden on your children than they can bear condemnation can flow [39:46] from vicarious living through your children grace brings discernment that knows the boundaries of [39:52] life and seeks their good here’s what i mean we live in a society where i’ve never seen

[40:02] children busier i’ve never seen expectations higher i’ve never seen the possibility of being [40:10] committed to more leagues than i’ve seen now kids are burning out before they ever reach high school

[40:18] and on things that typically don’t have eternal significance

[40:24] be discerning as to what you are putting your children into and as to whether or not it will [40:29] better them in the long run it’s a great deal of discernment and i can’t make those decisions for [40:35] you it’s your decision to make but we have to understand that at some point we are making [40:41] decisions for our children as to what they will be committed to in their lives [40:47] so there will be hard decisions and you must allow the gospel to drive those decisions you must

[40:56] be a family on mission communication is the bedrock of any relationship [41:02] the more communication the less confusion talk to your family about jesus strategize with your [41:10] family as to how you can most effectively live the mission together now if this is like a mid [41:17] game change and you’ve been like you’ve had you’ve got 12 year olds in your house that you’ve never [41:21] had a family devotion with you’ve never really talked to them about jesus understand it’s going [41:26] to be awkward you’re going to feel unequipped but thanks be to god in christ jesus that he is capable

[41:35] of doing more abundantly than we can ever ask ephesians 420 so there’s a little phrase i like [41:42] to tell guys embrace the awkward it’s gonna get weird sometimes maybe you’re not a touchy-feely [41:48] kind of guy and you feel like spirituality is a touchy-feely kind of thing or maybe you you just [41:52] you don’t know the scripture that well and you feel completely like there’s a deficit thankfully [41:57] there’s stories in scripture where jesus would lead someone to the lord and they would immediately [42:01] tell people about jesus here’s the key when you’re talking from experience talk about your

[42:05] experience what has jesus done in your life that’s what your kids need to hear they don’t need to [42:11] hear a puritan essay on eschatology all right most of you are like i don’t even know what that is [42:18] it’s all right i went to a lot of school most of it didn’t help here’s the key you we’re not [42:25] looking for experts we’re looking for committed moms and dads who love their children god the [42:32] power of the holy spirit is great where that is concerned and then your children will see the [42:36] life changes happening in you not that education is not important you need to read your bible you

[42:41] need to grow in your faith but if you’re waiting until you know it all guess what you’ll never know [42:46] all start with what you’ve got and then feel the responsibility to grow

[42:54] do not lose hope

[43:02] if you have children that seem wayward if you’re in a family situation that [43:07] it’s not good you know it’s not good there’s a temptation to be like well i can’t do any of the [43:14] stuff you talked about it’s hopeless there’s no one out of reach of the grace god no one no one

[43:31] now commit

[43:35] keep hoping keep praying keep living and proclaiming the gospel of god’s grace in jesus [43:42] and he can do mighty things with his truth and the lives of others your child no matter how young [43:52] no matter how old is not out of reach of the grace of god maybe you didn’t do the best job [43:59] as a parent you look back with nothing but regret allow jesus to take that guilt allow jesus to take [44:05] that regret to the cross because he already did anyway you just need to trust in it and you need [44:10] to move forward seek the forgiveness of your family seek their betterment in the future

[44:18] embrace the awkward have that awkward conversation your family will be better for it

[44:26] nobody ever says man my dad told me that he didn’t follow jesus that well the past few years and [44:32] he wants to follow jesus better as a dad in the future what a jerk

[44:39] i don’t think so

[44:42] and if they do keep loving them with jesus you’re like my son will

[44:50] the holy spirit’s so powerful you have no idea what he’s gonna do through your changed life [44:54] no clue if you’re in here you don’t have any kids you’re single prepare [45:03] can’t have any children you’ve passed child-rearing age here’s the key it does not mean god has called [45:12] you into a life of selfishness it means that god is putting you in a different situation to refine [45:21] you greater here’s the key website change who waits.com if you’re in here and you can’t parent [45:30] but you’re in a situation where you could provide for children maybe god is putting you in a

[45:37] situation as someone without kids for a child who’s in a situation who doesn’t have parents

[45:47] we’ve been adopted

[45:52] finally this morning this is about following jesus

[45:57] i’ve gone a little long but understand do not shoulder this burden alone [46:03] as someone making disciples understand that you need to be in relationships where you’re being

[46:10] discipled that’s why the church exists we’re not alone as the band comes up

[46:19] i couldn’t do it all in one sermon i didn’t need to

[46:26] but if you’re in here and you feel ill-equipped as a parent if you feel like you haven’t done all [46:32] that you need to have like i said follow jesus

[46:39] forgiveness is available if you’re in a situation where you know you’ve got a future like me [46:44] i’m just starting i’m just cranking it up

[46:49] committing now to following jesus committing now to reproducing your faith in another spiritual

[46:59] generation scripture tells us in proverbs that when you teach your child in the ways of the [47:02] lord and it grows old will not depart from it and some people in the language think it could [47:06] return to it

[47:10] i’m praying that prayer i’m trusting that promise of god

[47:17] every week we reflect on communion here’s the key this morning as mothers and fathers [47:23] who trusted in jesus what we’re doing this morning is we’re coming to the table to fellowship with [47:28] god to reflect on the broken body and the shed blood of jesus who’s redeemed us i want you to [47:34] take that identity as someone who’s been redeemed and take that mindset of kneeling before the cross [47:41] and having fellowship with god take that into your home

[47:49] start asking questions of how you can raise your children to love jesus [47:55] i know you’re going to ask me this question a lot of times [47:59] but it starts with you loving jesus kids and you come up today

[48:07] are you following your parents as you would follow god himself

[48:15] take that attitude into your home if you have parents that aren’t saved [48:22] are you living as christ would live in that family if you have children aren’t saved are [48:26] you guiding them as god would guide you but here’s the key no matter how bad of a job we’re doing

[48:35] god’s table still wide open because it’s not on us it’s on jesus and he walks into the house with [48:44] us and he loves us and he empowers us come up this morning and be empowered in the gospel