A Redeeming Family, Part 2.

Steve Gentry

[0:00] All right, go ahead and have a seat. [0:03] My name’s Steve, one of the other pastors here. [0:07] Welcome to the village. [0:08] This is your first time here. [0:09] We’re so glad to have you. [0:13] Now, I do want to, by way of just a small announcement, this past Sunday we had a sermon

[0:19] on what a godly husband looks like, what it looks like to lead your wife in sacrificial [0:26] servanthood under the gospel of Jesus. [0:29] And we started a six-week series this past Tuesday morning on what authentic manhood [0:36] looks like in that vein. [0:38] We had 20 guys come out. [0:39] It was a great morning of just kind of getting in the word, praying together as men, studying

[0:45] what it looks like to be a man and what kind of deficiencies we see in culture. [0:50] And this is going to keep going for five more weeks, Tuesday mornings at 615. [0:56] You still have a chance to come out. [0:58] Just because you missed the first week doesn’t mean that you can’t come starting this week [1:04] or even next week, but better this week so you don’t totally miss out on what we’re [1:08] talking about because it does kind of build on each other.

[1:10] So come out this Tuesday morning. [1:12] I will have a cup of coffee for you, maybe a bagel we can share with you. [1:15] Not one bagel for all the men, but each man probably gets his own, I assume. [1:20] Hopefully there will be some left over for me. [1:23] But come on out this Tuesday morning just to take a look at what authentic manhood in [1:27] Scripture looks like.

[1:30] Last week we talked about what it looks like to be a husband in the vein of Ephesians [1:36] chapter 5 as a husband leads his wife and leads his family as a father to follow the [1:43] mission of Jesus and live as if we’ve been reconciled to God. [1:48] And this week we’re going to talk about what it looks like to be a wife that follows. [1:53] Now I want to go ahead and admit I am not an expert on womanhood for obvious reasons. [2:01] I just don’t happen to be one.

[2:03] I’ve been a man or a guy. [2:05] Some people may not even think I’m a man. [2:07] I don’t know. [2:08] I’ve been a male for 31 years, but I have never in my 31 years been a woman. [2:13] And you should be thankful for that because that would be weird.

[2:17] So understand that the context that I’m coming at is not one of experience. [2:23] So the only gauge that I’m going to come at you with is what Scripture presents a wife [2:30] looks like. [2:32] And that’s something we can all take a look at because if we’re honest, most of us, even [2:36] we are found bankrupt of what we even know to be a man. [2:41] We’re just playing it by ear most of our lives, going after the examples that we’ve seen.

[2:45] And some of us really haven’t seen any good examples. [2:48] But thankfully, God has graced us and has not left us uneducated and unequipped to be [2:55] ignorant for our lives, but rather he has given us his word. [2:59] And more than that, as those who are followers of Jesus, he has given us the Holy Spirit [3:04] to strengthen us and equip us and to guide us into a life that is led by Scripture. [3:10] So if you’ll join me in Ephesians chapter five, we’ll go ahead and start reading in

[3:14] verse 22. [3:16] We’re not going to make it very far.

[3:19] Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord. [3:24] Now, let’s stop right there. [3:27] This is where most men stop. [3:31] Okay. [3:32] Because we really like that part. [3:35] You know, it gives us this, this, you know, bravado or machismo.

[3:39] And we’re like, woman, submit, submit. [3:44] So if you weren’t here last week, go listen to the podcast. [3:50] All right. [3:51] Because as we unpacked last week, the calling on the life of a husband is far deeper and [4:01] far more sacrificial than this calling of a wife to live in submission. [4:06] And when he says as to the Lord, he’s not saying men that you are a God to your wife.

[4:15] No, he’s saying that as a, um, as a way to enter into the fact that you are to act as God acts [4:24] towards his church. [4:25] And what that looks like is Jesus on the cross giving his very life. [4:31] Okay. [4:32] So let’s make sure men, when we, when we read the context of this and women as well, [4:37] do not read this, that you are to be a domineering force in the life of your wife.

[4:45] Because that would be a complete rebellion against what God has called you to actually do. [4:51] As God has called you in the life of servanthood towards your wife. [4:55] Verse 23, for the husband is the head of the wife, [4:58] even as Christ is the head of the church, his body and is himself its savior. [5:04] Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. [5:13] All right.

[5:13] Now, as a history of sin has shown us, if we really begin to just through the lens of culture, [5:20] take a look at something like this. [5:22] We see an entryway into male chauvinism and we see an entryway into kind of the belittling [5:28] of womanhood, but rather what God is doing here is he is elevating womanhood to the role [5:34] to reflect what God’s life looks like within the Trinity. [5:38] And you’re like, what do you, what do you mean by that?

[5:39] What does that look like? [5:40] All right. [5:41] Well, that’s kind of point number one, the roles in marriage serve to reflect [5:44] the roles in the Trinity or in the Godhead, God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. [5:50] Last week, we took a look at how marriage reflects the community that God exists in [5:56] within himself, that when God created man, it’s the first time in all of creation,

[6:01] as he spoke, he looks at man and he says, it’s not good. [6:05] It’s the first time he says that. [6:07] All right. [6:08] And he says, the reason it’s not good is because man is alone. [6:11] So what he does is, is he makes a helper fit for him so that as a husband and a wife, [6:18] we can relate as one flesh as God relates within the Godhead as one God.

[6:25] But it goes deeper than that. [6:27] And that’s what this submission is really driving us to. [6:31] Because as we see throughout scripture, throughout the meta narrative or the arc [6:34] of the word of God, what we see is that the different members of the Trinity occupy [6:40] different roles in the history of redemption. [6:44] We took a look in the first three chapters of Ephesians as to God’s eternal plan.

[6:49] Well, how he made that plan of God, the Son coming and dying for the sins of humanity [6:55] is that different members of the Trinity took different parts. [6:59] God, the Father planned redemption. [7:02] God, the Son did the work. [7:04] He came to live the mission. [7:06] He came to seek and to save that which was lost.

[7:09] And then the spirit, as we see very early on, the spirit equips, the spirit empowers. [7:14] And those are the different roles that the members of the Trinity play. [7:18] Now, the key and understanding that is they are all equally God. [7:24] None are subservient to the others, but the Son willingly and joyfully submits himself [7:33] to the will of the Father. [7:36] But he is not less than the Father.

[7:39] He’s not less important than the Father. [7:42] He’s not less valuable than the Father. [7:45] And he’s certainly not less God than the Father. [7:48] They are all equal in, I guess the easiest way to say it, in godness [7:53] or in seminary language, deity. [7:55] They are all equal.

[7:58] So must we all understand the role of men and women in marriage. [8:04] Men and women are equal in importance. [8:10] They’re equal in value. [8:12] They’re equal in substance. [8:14] They’re equal to men. [8:16] Men are not more important than women.

[8:20] And some of you may not like to hear that because the way you act. [8:23] But that’s true. [8:25] The truth of God’s word, though, especially in light of this text, men and women occupy [8:30] different roles here at the village. [8:34] We believe in the view complementarianism, which teaches that while men and women are [8:40] equal in importance, they are different in the roles that they live in this life.

[8:45] Your identity as a woman in the role that you will play in this life is different. [8:50] Even biology teaches us this, folks. [8:53] Clearly, there are differences. [8:55] And I’m very thankful for that. [8:58] As a husband, I am really glad that there are biological differences between my wife [9:02] and I.

[9:03] But there are also role differences that God has called us to live. [9:08] If you notice in scripture, the son never looks to the Father and says, [9:13] why does my role not look exactly like yours?

[9:19] The father didn’t die on the cross. [9:21] The spirit didn’t die on the cross. [9:23] The son died on the cross. [9:26] And in the Garden of Gethsemane, as he prays, you see him, he says, [9:29] if there be any other way, let this cup pass from me. [9:32] But not my will, thine be done.

[9:36] He submits to following the plan that the father has laid out for him. [9:45] This is submission. [9:47] But within the work of the Trinity, you see that the spirit then submits to the son [9:53] gladly and joyfully. [9:55] But then when the son talks about the spirit, especially in John chapter 14, [9:59] he says one greater than I will come.

[10:04] Do you see the mutual submission there?

[10:09] And then the father looks to the son. [10:11] Then in John 17, you see the son look to the father and say, [10:14] restore to me the glory that I shared with you before creation. [10:20] And you see in the baptism of Jesus, the father say, [10:22] this is my son in whom I am well pleased. [10:24] You see the father sending the son, the son sending the spirit,

[10:27] the spirit pointing to the son, the son pointing to the father, [10:30] and the father finding his glory in the work of the son. [10:34] You see mutual glorification. [10:35] You see mutual submission. [10:37] You see mutual exaltation of each member of the Trinity. [10:40] What you see here is relationships as they were designed to be.

[10:45] See, the husband does not domineer over his wife. [10:48] The husband seeks the glory of the wife and the wife seeks the glory of the husband [10:52] through fulfilling our roles. [10:55] So we see in that we reflect the roles of the Trinity. [10:59] So in marriage, what we are trying to do to the world is reflect to the world how [11:04] God himself exists by the way that we share a unique oneness of mutual submission.

[11:12] The husband leads the wife into the gospel where he serves the wife [11:22] and lives to show her the sacrifice of Jesus Christ by the way in which he [11:28] sacrifices for his wife. [11:30] And the wife follows him as she is inspired by his servanthood. [11:36] And any time a man lives the type of servanthood that Jesus Christ lived, [11:41] a woman will not help but be able to follow you because if she’s following Jesus Christ,

[11:45] she’ll be so inspired that she’ll follow you wherever the mission takes you. [11:49] Because we know that those are the roles that God has called us into. [11:53] Now, the problem comes when one member inside of the marriage does not desire to follow Jesus. [12:03] Because then the vision that God has given us for marriage and the ideal that God has set forth [12:08] for the way that he designed marriage to work and the way that he’s restoring us to work, [12:13] sin enters into the situation and can cause a great deal of corruption.

[12:19] Because if you notice, the wife is to submit in all things to her husband [12:24] as he follows the gospel.

[12:27] Well, the question then becomes, what does the wife do if the husband does not [12:30] desire to live for the gospel and vice versa. [12:34] Now, in our culture, we have to be very honest about this. [12:37] More often than not, it is the wife that’s found desiring to follow Jesus and the husband [12:44] that’s found not desiring to follow Jesus. [12:45] That’s not a statistic that I want to be real, but that’s the statistic as it is.

[12:51] There are far more women in church than there are men in church. [12:54] Now, gratefully, we have a good group of men in village and a great group of men showed up [12:58] Tuesday morning to find out how to live biblical manhood. [13:01] But by and large, around the world, it is women that are taking leadership [13:04] where the gospel is concerned and not husbands. [13:08] So what do we do in that sense?

[13:10] Do we take over the role of the husband and begin to lead that marriage? [13:14] Do we leave our husband and forsake him if he will not submit to the Lord? [13:19] Do we nag him as we do with yard work? [13:23] Follow Jesus, follow Jesus, cut the grass, cut the grass. [13:26] All right. [13:27] Oh, is that just me?

[13:27] Everybody else cuts the grass on time. [13:29] Okay, sorry. [13:30] You guys aren’t in the same boat as I’m in on that one. [13:33] But what do we do in that sense? [13:35] And the key in understanding what we’re to do is that the scripture has not left us [13:42] without revelation to help us in these marriages,

[13:46] because it’s one thing that scripture does is it reaches us where we are [13:50] and it shows us how we live in light of the effects of sin on this world. [13:56] So if you are a husband or a wife finding yourself in a situation that is not ideal, [14:03] your hope is not to be found in your spouse doing the right thing. [14:08] Your hope is in Jesus. [14:11] So you do not for your role in the marriage depend on the other spouse fulfilling his or her role

[14:20] in the marriage. [14:21] You depend exclusively on the faithfulness of God, exclusively on the faithfulness of Jesus Christ. [14:29] And as that person does not fulfill you, because they cannot ultimately fulfill you, [14:34] you lean on Jesus. [14:35] You lean into the spirit and you find your fulfillment in the spirit. [14:39] In first Peter chapter three, we find this advice.

[14:45] Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if some honing on this, [14:52] even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. [14:58] When they see your respectful and pure conduct, do not let your adorning be external. [15:04] The braiding of hair and the putting on of jewelry or the clothing you wear, [15:08] but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle [15:13] and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.

[15:17] For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their [15:22] own husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. [15:25] And you are her children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. [15:30] Now, he’s not saying don’t put makeup on.

[15:36] All right, that’s a question I’ve gotten throughout the years. [15:38] All right, what he’s saying is do not let that be what is precious about you. [15:41] Let the internal. [15:42] All right, men tend to like makeup. [15:44] You don’t have to wear it. [15:46] Do whatever you want.

[15:47] Do whatever you want. [15:49] All right, but sometimes men like makeup. [15:50] Just a little advice there. [15:53] But here’s what he’s really unpacking. [15:55] Here’s the point of what he’s saying. [15:57] The point of what he’s saying is, is that if you have a husband who does not desire

[16:02] to follow Jesus and he uses the word obey the word, you have a husband that is more engaged in [16:08] rebellion against God than he is with affection for God. [16:11] All right, then you let your identity be that which God has called you to be. [16:19] All right, your hopes not found in your husband. [16:20] Secondly, he’s saying that the way in which your husband may come to faith in Jesus Christ [16:27] is through the work of transformation that God is putting inside of you.

[16:34] It begins on the inside. [16:36] So the hope for your husband is in your life. [16:40] The hope of the husband is your commitment to Jesus. [16:43] The hope for your husband is not you forsaking that which God has called you to [16:50] in order to meet his selfish needs. [16:54] Be honest with that because that’s what they’ll call you to do.

[16:59] Your hope is in submission to him in the role in which God has called you to. [17:06] So that which God has called you in order to be a good wife to him. [17:10] Absolutely, you do that. [17:12] You follow him in as much as he is not leading you away from Jesus. [17:20] All right. [17:20] And the way that you lead him towards Jesus is that in view of him,

[17:26] you submit and you joyfully love the gospel while you joyfully love him. [17:33] Husbands, verse seven.

[17:37] Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. [17:44] It’s going to be tough because we’re not smart. [17:46] All right. [17:47] I’ll be honest. [17:48] I’m not the brightest guy in the world. [17:50] So my understanding is often found lacking, but we must work at it.

[17:55] Showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel. [17:59] Now, I think Peter gets you some flack here, but its context is king. [18:03] When he says weaker vessel, he’s not saying women are weak. [18:07] I know plenty of strong women. [18:09] All right. [18:10] What he’s saying is, is he’s using the mentality of a fine piece of pottery

[18:16] in the sense that if you are a brutish animal who domineers her, [18:24] it is like carrying a nice piece of pottery and throwing it against the wall. [18:28] What’s going to happen? [18:29] It’s going to break. [18:31] The context that he’s coming at here is not simply for a wife that is following Jesus, [18:38] but the real context is that he follows this up from an unbelieving husband

[18:42] because he’s talking about how to live with an unbelieving wife. [18:45] You will not domineer her to the gospel.

[18:51] You will not nag her to the gospel. [18:54] I truly understand that most people have the concept that only women nag. [18:58] No, no, no. [19:00] Men nag just as much. [19:03] All right. [19:04] Many women are like, amen.

[19:06] They do. [19:07] I know I live with one.

[19:09] The concept here is, is that you deal with your wife like you would [19:14] a fine piece of pottery. [19:17] You love her. [19:19] You cherish her. [19:20] You are gentle with her. [19:22] You meet her where she is and you show her the servanthood of Jesus Christ.

[19:27] The big picture here is that you are to win an unbelieving spouse or an un [19:33] or a spouse that is in some rebellion against God by the way in which you conduct your life [19:40] is to mirror the person and work of Jesus Christ and is to show the transformation [19:46] that the spirit is working in and through you. [19:50] Now, I also want to take a look at first Corinthians chapter seven really quick [19:53] because there are going to come situations where it just simply doesn’t work out where our hope

[19:59] is in redemption. [20:01] But quite often, let’s be honest, it doesn’t work that way. [20:04] And I know that in the situation some of you find yourselves in, [20:07] it’s that type of situation where it’s just things are falling apart. [20:12] All right. [20:12] In first Corinthians chapter seven, Paul writes this.

[20:14] He says, to the rest I say, I not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an [20:19] unbeliever and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. [20:24] All right. [20:25] Ladies and gentlemen, if your spouse is unbelieving, that’s not grounds to leave. [20:30] It’s not grounds to leave.

[20:33] If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever and he consents to live with her, [20:37] she should not divorce him for the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife [20:42] and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. [20:45] Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. [20:50] But if the unbelieving partner separates, so to me, let it be so. [20:54] In such cases, the brother or sister is not enslaved.

[20:57] God has called you to peace. [20:59] For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband or how do you know, [21:04] husband, whether you will save your wife? [21:05] He’s giving us two realities here. [21:09] The first reality is the clear picture that the hope of your spouse’s salvation lies within you. [21:18] You cannot lay the responsibility on someone else.

[21:20] You cannot lay the blame on someone else. [21:22] God has called you into that situation. [21:26] Number one, in order to refine you and sanctify you further in the gospel, [21:31] commit you more to the gospel, make you more dependent on Jesus. [21:34] And then secondly, for the hope of your spouse, [21:39] because the impact is going to be great that you will have on your spouse.

[21:44] The key is that the spouse sees you in light of the gospel because who else is going to [21:50] spend more time with your spouse than you do? [21:52] So through your faithfulness in light of differences, [21:57] through the joy that you share, excuse me, that you have in the gospel, [22:03] you are to be a witness of the gospel. [22:07] That’s point number two.

[22:08] In marriage, each spouse lives as a witness of the gospel. [22:13] Each spouse does. [22:14] We see that Jesus is declared to the wife through the person of the husband [22:20] and the role of the church is declared to the husband through the work of the wife. [22:23] But so the hope, you should notice in verse 16, it says that through your life, [22:28] your spouse might be saved.

[22:30] And that’s the idea that comes into play when he says that through you, [22:34] your spouse is made holy. [22:37] The fact that you’re a follower of Jesus Christ does not simply make [22:41] your spouse a follower of Jesus Christ, but holiness should be on full display for them to see. [22:47] Servanthood should be on full display for them to see. [22:50] So what do you do if you’re not supposed to leave that spouse?

[22:54] What if your spouse chooses to leave you? [22:57] Unfortunately, because of the work of sin in this world, that does happen. [23:02] It does. [23:03] And it’s a misfortune in this world.

[23:07] The scripture clearly, though, dictates that if your spouse abandons you because of the work of [23:13] the gospel, and let it be the work of the gospel in your life and not some other reason, don’t [23:18] use the gospel as an excuse for you to not be the spouse that you should be. [23:23] But if because of the holiness that God is driving into your life, your spouse abandons you, [23:29] notice that Paul says, your peace is not found in that spouse being in you. [23:33] Don’t let yourself be in a prison because of that.

[23:36] In other words, you’re freed from that marriage.

[23:40] All right. [23:41] God does not want you to try to find your identity in that marriage. [23:43] God does not want you to try to find your fullness in that marriage. [23:46] He wants you to find your fullness in Jesus Christ and Him alone. [23:50] And while it is and will be painful to go through that situation, understand that that could happen. [23:59] But the key here is that you are to drive your life further and further into the gospel

[24:05] so that regardless of what happens in that relationship, you can be found as a person [24:11] submitting to the gospel. [24:13] And your role inside of marriage is not dictated by your spouse’s role. [24:18] Wives, if your husband is in rebellion against God, [24:22] you are still called to be a godly wife to your husband. [24:27] Husbands, if your wife is living in rebellion to God and His gospel,

[24:31] understand that you are still to lead through servanthood. [24:36] I cannot make the emphasis on servanthood. [24:40] All right. [24:41] You’re not general Patton in the marriage. [24:44] All right. [24:45] You are a servant to your wife.

[24:48] It’s servant leadership that you is to come and just exude out of you. [24:53] All right.

[24:55] That is the hope of your spouse. [24:57] And when you decide because of what you have labeled and may very well be rebellion in your [25:05] spouse, when you say, well, if they’re not going to be who they need to be, [25:09] I’m not going to be who I need to be. [25:10] I’m going to make his or her life miserable.

[25:15] You’re not allowing God to work into and out of your life what he desires.

[25:21] And unfortunately, even if you do, spouse’s rebellion could take them further and further [25:27] away from you. [25:28] But if it does, because you’re living in your role, [25:32] because you’re submitting to the leadership of God above all else, [25:37] your identity is found in him and you are free to continue to find your identity in him. [25:45] Now, understand that your role is as one who is witnessing of the gospel,

[25:53] one who is posturing to witness for the gospel. [25:58] That is why great discipleship is going to be needed in and through your life. [26:05] You are going to need to follow Jesus more closely, [26:09] get into community inside of the church more deeply. [26:12] And if your spouse doesn’t want you in community, quite frankly, [26:16] the call of God is higher than the call of that spouse.

[26:19] You need community. [26:20] You need discipleship. [26:22] You cannot allow your spouse to lead you away from the gospel. [26:27] You’re to lead them towards the gospel. [26:30] And if you’re not going towards the gospel in your life, [26:33] then how is your spouse to go closer to the gospel in his or her life?

[26:38] And like I said before, in our culture, this is more often what happens [26:42] in the life of women than men. [26:45] We have a great deficit in husbands leading their wives. [26:51] And one of my greatest desires as a pastor is to see godly men rise up. [26:58] The statistic is something amazing. [27:01] That if the husband comes to faith in Jesus Christ,

[27:05] over 90% of the time within a year, the rest of the family comes to faith in Jesus Christ. [27:12] But if the wife comes to faith in Jesus first, within a year, [27:16] usually only 20% of the time, the rest of the family comes to faith in Jesus Christ. [27:22] It’s because men are dumb. [27:24] No, I’m just kidding. [27:24] I’m just kidding.

[27:27] But it is because the rebellion in a man oftentimes leads him to a more stubborn situation. [27:36] And godly men inspire their wives. [27:44] Men do not forsake the calling of God on your lives to lead your family. [27:56] And women do not cripple his efforts by not following his godly [28:06] leadership. [28:07] Okay.

[28:08] Now, there are some single people in here. [28:13] The texts in 1 Peter chapter 3 and 1 Corinthians chapter 7 should humble you [28:19] in your pursuit of a spouse. [28:24] [28:24] Now, in another area of 1 Corinthians chapter 7, I believe, [28:29] Paul writes that if you, he uses the term burn in passion,

[28:34] you should seek a spouse. [28:37] Because the other way to get rid of that burning is immorality. [28:40] You don’t want to do that.

[28:43] But if you have the desire for a spouse, the gospel should dictate your drive to find a spouse. [28:54] Not your burning loins.

[28:58] Not America’s Next Top Model. [29:01] Not some show that talks about the looks of men. [29:03] I don’t know. [29:05] Let’s hope none of the dudes are watching that. [29:07] But if you are, let’s talk.

[29:11] First is the gospel. [29:13] Because here’s the key. [29:15] If you desire to follow Jesus with your all and you desire marriage,

[29:24] there’s going to be no greater impact on how you follow Jesus than your spouse. [29:30] The married people in here will back me up on that one. [29:32] I know that my wife helps me. [29:35] She guides me. [29:36] She’s my greatest advisor. [29:39] She’s my greatest encourager.

[29:42] But if she did not or does not love Jesus, then how can she encourage me to live the mission of Jesus?

[29:54] The text that we wrote were basically the context as they’re written to people already [29:59] in marriages because it was happening in that age just as it is now where one spouse would [30:02] come to faith in Jesus and another spouse would reject it.

[30:06] If you are single, do not allow anything to lead you on your journey to find a spouse [30:12] but the Word of God. [30:14] That should be first. [30:16] Looks are like number two or number three.

[30:21] It’s not just personality. [30:23] It’s not just that you like the same TV show. [30:25] It’s not anything like that. [30:28] It’s not the Myers-Briggs personality test first and foremost. [30:31] He’s an ECPI and I’m a PRQT. [30:34] We go together great.

[30:36] He makes up for my shortcomings. [30:37] But does he love Jesus? [30:40] He will once we get married.

[30:44] The stats on that one are pretty bad.

[30:47] Use wisdom. [30:49] Women, the man that you choose, there’s a key, that you choose to submit to in your role in marriage [31:01] may he be a man that loves the Lord Jesus Christ so that he can lead in a godly way. [31:08] Otherwise, you’re asking for trouble. [31:10] You’re heading for trouble. [31:11] Men, same thing goes for you.

[31:14] If you want to lead, seek a woman who loves Jesus. [31:19] Seek a woman who loves the Lord. [31:21] Otherwise, the path will be far more complicated. [31:27] All right. [31:28] Now, when we look at biblical submission in the role of a wife, we have to understand [31:33] that the wife should serve to aid in furthering the mission of Jesus.

[31:38] Talked about how the wife submits to the husband and the husband leads the wife. [31:45] But what does it look like? [31:46] Wouldn’t it be a lot easier if we just did it on our own? [31:50] Doesn’t marriage just complicate things? [31:53] Wouldn’t it be a lot easier? [31:54] Well, Paul actually says in 1 Corinthians 7,

[31:56] if you just buy yourself, it will be a really easy thing. [31:58] But here’s the key. [32:00] Very few of us don’t burn in passion for marriage. [32:04] It was the gift of singleness is what I heard about at my Christian college all the time. [32:09] I didn’t have that gift, folks. [32:11] If you have that gift, you don’t burn in desire.

[32:14] And I’ve never met a man that didn’t. [32:16] I’ll be honest with you.

[32:18] For the sake of our conversation, I don’t want to really get into that. [32:20] But what I do want to get into is the key of Scripture. [32:23] Proverbs 18, verse 22, it says that a man who finds a wife finds a good thing [32:30] and finds favor in the Lord. [32:31] Husband, don’t bemoan the fact that you’re married. [32:34] I got the old ball and chain.

[32:37] Right? [32:37] That’s a denial of Scripture. [32:38] Scripture says when you find a wife, you find a good thing [32:41] and you obtain favor from the Lord. [32:45] All right? [32:45] When we look at marriage, we must look at it in the context and in the lens

[32:50] that this is how God designed us to reflect his nature to the world. [32:56] All right? [32:57] I’ve never met a man that was great by himself. [33:01] Neither did God. [33:02] The first one he made. [33:04] It’s not good.

[33:06] It’s not good. [33:08] You know, made a woman out of the rib of a man, the same essence of a man, [33:14] so that man and woman could be one flesh. [33:16] Marriage is a good thing. [33:20] But here’s the problem. [33:23] It is not a God thing.

[33:26] It’s a difference. [33:29] And I, at times, have seen wives tempt their husbands to make them idols. [33:39] But the wife should be an idol to the husband. [33:42] Now, you never hear come out of their mouths that way. [33:45] You know, I want to be his idol. [33:46] No, you might want to be American idol, but that’s probably not going to happen either.

[33:52] I don’t know where that one came from. [33:55] But here’s the key. [33:57] You should not desire for your husband’s fulfillment, for his passions, [34:07] for his life to be completely fulfilled by knowing and being in relationship with you.

[34:16] That is not what God has called you to be. [34:21] And that is not where God has called him to find his fullness. [34:25] God has called him to find his fullness in Jesus. [34:29] It is the work of the Spirit in his life through seeking the love of the Father in his life. [34:34] All right? [34:35] And he has called you to be side by side with him on that journey.

[34:42] Because here’s what I think happens oftentimes. [34:43] I think we get this mentality that if our husbands or our wives, let’s be honest here, [34:50] get on fire for the mission of Jesus, just they love God, then they will have to go [34:57] somewhere else other than with us to live for him. [35:02] And we got to have balance. [35:03] He’s got to be home with me.

[35:05] And if he’s out there trying to serve the Lord, it’s going to complicate things. [35:08] Yeah, that’s not the vision God gives. [35:10] There will be times when that happens. [35:13] You know?

[35:15] But what he’s called us to do is side by side, serve the Lord together. [35:20] As you raise your children, that’s a huge aspect of the mission of Jesus in your lives. [35:26] As you love one another through relationship, [35:29] that’s a huge aspect of the mission of Jesus in your lives. [35:33] But if it is limited to the relationship that takes place in your home, [35:42] it is not what God called you to do.

[35:47] God called you as a husband and wife to fulfill and live your roles, [35:51] and the wife to aid her husband as he leads her. [35:55] He has designed you to do it in such a way that the church community is able to see you loving [36:02] each other and that the culture at large can see you have a marriage the way that God designed it [36:08] to be. [36:10] All right?

[36:10] We can Matthew chapter 10, just real quick. [36:14] Matthew chapter 10.

[36:16] Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me. [36:21] And whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. [36:24] And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. [36:28] Whoever finds his life will lose it. [36:30] And whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. [36:33] What Jesus does here is that he deals with the issue of

[36:37] how am I supposed to follow Jesus when I have a family?

[36:44] Jesus himself right here says,

[36:48] you’re to follow me above and beyond anyone else in this world. [36:57] But he’s not saying forsake your family. [37:00] That’s not what he’s saying at all. [37:02] What he’s saying is if you find your fulfillment, [37:05] if you find your life, [37:08] if you find what defines you in your family, then your family has become your God.

[37:17] He says, you’re supposed to find your life, [37:19] find your fulfillment, find your definition in me. [37:24] Jesus wants you to follow him. [37:26] But here’s the key, woman. [37:28] He doesn’t want you sitting at home while he’s doing it.

[37:33] He wants you to be with him. [37:37] He wants you to find your way to help him. [37:41] He wants you to disciple other women as he disciples other men. [37:46] He wants you to come together and have mutual submission to the roles that each one of you [37:53] have in loving and serving Jesus Christ. [37:57] You are to be his advisor.

[37:59] You are to be his encourager. [38:00] You are to be his help mate.

[38:05] And it’s not demeaning.

[38:08] That’s inspiring.

[38:11] If it wasn’t for my wife, I could barely get up in the morning.

[38:16] And she could probably get up without me.

[38:19] But here’s the key.

[38:21] You are to aid your husband in living the mission of Jesus [38:26] as he shows you what the person and work of Jesus Christ is all about [38:33] by serving and inspiring you through his life. [38:40] Do not put yourself in a position where it’s either you or Jesus.

[38:48] I’ll do it. [38:50] And unfortunately, it does happen. [38:53] It does.

[38:56] You are to aid him in loving the Lord, because together, when you join in that beautiful unity [39:04] of marriage, you are far more effective than you are when one is over here and one is over here [39:13] completely disconnected.

[39:16] The love and power of God is to pour out into both of your lives as you disciple one another [39:23] along the path of life. [39:25] And then that love and that power of God in your lives through the work of Jesus [39:30] and the empowering of the Spirit, it is going to overflow and it is going to go into the life [39:36] of your children. [39:37] And then they will see what to look for in a spouse.

[39:41] And then that will go on to the next generation and to the next generation [39:45] and to the next generation. [39:48] And when they do not see that,

[39:53] it’s much harder. [39:55] It’s much harder. [39:57] May redemption be poured into the lives of the wives and then exchanged with the redemption [40:05] as being poured into the life of the husband. [40:08] May you equip one another. [40:10] May you live in the roles that God has designed you to live in as husband and wife

[40:16] and father and mother. [40:18] And may you join together and seek the gospel for the hope of yourself [40:26] and for the hope of your spouse. [40:30] Because this is a foundational thing. [40:32] This is not just something where we make a checklist of what a woman is supposed to do, [40:36] a checklist of what a guy is supposed to do.

[40:38] This is a heart matter. [40:41] This is a foundation for why I’m alive matter. [40:45] You are to live as God has called you in obedience and command of our Lord Jesus Christ [40:52] to trust in him fully beyond all. [40:56] And then through that, he guides you to live the life that you were meant to live [41:03] as he continues to further the work of redemption into you and out of you.

[41:09] First in the family. [41:10] That’s where it starts. [41:12] Then into the church. [41:14] Then into the culture. [41:16] And if there’s to be hope for the redemption of the culture that quite often [41:20] finds itself in great disrepair and we see it constantly,

[41:24] if there’s to be any hope, it’s going to begin at the kitchen table [41:27] before it ever begins anywhere else.

[41:31] It’s going to begin in your homes. [41:33] It’s going to begin by husbands leading. [41:36] And it’s going to begin by wives submitting to godly leadership. [41:40] But quite often the wife looks and says, what am I to submit to?

[41:49] Husbands. [41:51] Serve wives. [41:54] Submit to Jesus. [41:57] And then to your husband. [41:59] And you will live for the gospel and it’ll be hard.

[42:07] But the hope of God will be found for all those that view your life. [42:15] And right now, as we begin to reflect on the gospel through the Lord’s Supper, [42:24] we’ve talked a lot about finding your identity in Jesus first. [42:29] And this is where it begins. [42:31] It begins in his life where we understand that God has called us to himself. [42:37] And he’s given us his life.

[42:42] He broke his body. [42:43] He shed his blood. [42:44] He died on a cross for our sins so that we could have his righteousness. [42:50] And then he says, come.

[42:53] I’ll give you life. [42:55] Come fellowship with me.

[42:59] When you take the bread and you take the cup, what you’re proclaiming is that you [43:03] trust in Jesus Christ for your all. [43:07] And that you find your fulfillment in him. [43:10] And you want his life in your life. [43:14] And we reflect on his death because we know he came back to life in the resurrection.

[43:20] And we reflect on it because we know he’s given us life. [43:24] If you’re a follower of Jesus, I invite you to come reflect on communion. [43:30] If you’re not, you don’t have a godly example in your life. [43:34] And you struggle because you’re you’ve pulled so many different directions. [43:38] You’ve been disappointed so many times. [43:39] You’ve seen the effects of sin so often in your lives that you struggle really to

[43:44] believe in any type of hope.

[43:48] Friend, the only hope that you’ll ever have that’s real is the hope that’s found [43:54] in God, the son, Jesus Christ.

[43:58] Today is the day of salvation. [44:00] If you’ve not trusted in him. [44:03] I’d love to talk to you chat with you for a minute. [44:05] There are those in the back that would as well. [44:07] If you’re a follower of Jesus, the tables wide open. [44:11] Come and reflect.

[44:12] If you’re not, it’s not that they’re better than you. [44:16] It’s that they know and trust Jesus, the Jesus that you need to know and trust. [44:21] And you can know him today.